What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?

[Anonymous]

There is so much resentment seeping through this thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

So you are not in fact spending a ton of time with your kids every day. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

DP here. You will not understand because PP is seeing the world through skewed biased glasses, where what they do is right are everyone else is flawed. We are 2 doctors and had a nanny when our kids were very young. We spen5 tons of quality time with them because we outsourced things like cleaning, laundry, and driving. For people like PP a parent must also do all these thing. I think it's better to outsource those things and increase life quality, including quality time with kids.

PP one day you will sadly learn that there is no such thing as “quality time.” That is yet another lie you were sold.

There is only time. Quality has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

So you are not in fact spending a ton of time with your kids every day. Got it.

Minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. I don’t get the responses here.

[Anonymous]

Yes short ugly ones with sparse hair, spaces between teeth, small peen, foot fungus cheat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids

80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.

We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.

I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:

2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off

We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.

Not sure why this has so much interest.

M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs

Total = 65-80hrs

When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.

[Anonymous]

Oh ffs with these threads. If you are that impressed by an MD, get your own. Last weekend the wife of one of DH's friends asked me how I like being married to a lawyer, which I found really weird given that I am one as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids

80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.

We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.

I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:

2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off

We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.

Not sure why this has so much interest.

M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs

Total = 65-80hrs

When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.

Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.

Not sure why this is interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?

Enjoy the batsh*t MIL who thinks her grandkids are her kids and will inevitably treat you like you a discardable surrogate to carry her son’s heirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids

80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.

We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.

I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:

2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off

We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.

Not sure why this has so much interest.

M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs

Total = 65-80hrs

When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.

Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.

Not sure why this is interesting.

Because we don’t believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.

Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.

If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.

I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.

If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.

Children are not trophies.

We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.

When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?

We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).

I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids

80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.

We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.

I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:

2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off

We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.

Not sure why this has so much interest.

M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs

Total = 65-80hrs

When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.

Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.

Not sure why this is interesting.

Because we don’t believe you.

I find that curious, but okay. Like I said, our hours are mild and we have plenty of free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?

Enjoy the batsh*t MIL who thinks her grandkids are her kids and will inevitably treat you like you a discardable surrogate to carry her son’s heirs.

Woah!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating. Hospitals have no boundaries and MDs have god complexes.

This is true. When my uncle was married 25 years ago, there was an event for doctors wives. The presenter said look to your left and right. One of those people will not be married to their doc spouse in 15-20 years. No one thought it would be them. My uncle left his wife for another hospital employee. Pretty common knowledge. Even in my 20s, I would not date doctors.

I mean, 20 years is after your hypothetical kids are adults and in college. Not exactly a shocking end to a marriage, any marriage.

Well, my Uncle left his wife after eight years of marriage, and their second child was only two years old. The person saying this didn’t mean it would happen if the 20 year mark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating. Hospitals have no boundaries and MDs have god complexes.

This is true. When my uncle was married 25 years ago, there was an event for doctors wives. The presenter said look to your left and right. One of those people will not be married to their doc spouse in 15-20 years. No one thought it would be them. My uncle left his wife for another hospital employee. Pretty common knowledge. Even in my 20s, I would not date doctors.

Umm, that’s basically the divorce rate for all Americans. And this was for doctors wives?? What about doctor husbands??? Even 25yr ago, a large portion of physicians were female. This story does not ring true. And if it’s true, the speaker sounds comically bad

The divorce rate in United States is not 50%. In fact, it’s at an all time low and it’s more likely to be around 35%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?

Enjoy the batsh*t MIL who thinks her grandkids are her kids and will inevitably treat you like you are just a discardable surrogate who carried her son’s heirs.