Boyfriend is Cheap!!!

[Anonymous]

Break up. I'm married to a cheap guy who's not nearly so extreme, but it really, really grates and never gets better.

[Anonymous]

Omg. My ex husband was a Cheapskate. That’s why i broke it off after 12 years. Do yourself a favor and leave now. It will only gets worse and You deserve better!

[Anonymous]

He sounds mentally ill, op. He’s got multiple houses? Are you sure? Strange that he won’t furnish them, I’d be wondering if he really has the money you think he has, dumpster diving and curb scouting take a lot of time, time most people who are working don’t have. Are you sure he isn’t spending money on things he’d prefer you not know about, other women, deadbeat friends/family, other things?

His affirming words and acts of service wouldn’t impress me, he can always stop doing them and then you’ll what exactly? Plus, it wouldn’t cancel out the feeling that I just wasn’t worth sharing experiences with.
Even if he is truthful about everything, this goes way beyond “you want to do it, you pay” or “you take him out” because his cheapness will cast a pall over the whole experience, he’ll say you shouldn’t have spent so much, the money could have been better spent elsewhere, he saw a better show for free years aggo, why do you need to support the arts or the travel industry, it’s just awful, wanting to enjoy a fun time with a romantic partner to have them tsk the whole time about the cost, you wanting to go to the event, just no. And then it gets nasty, soon enough op will be a “spoiled (fit in her ethnicity) girl, or she will lack compassion for those less fortunate, or she’ll be materialistic (she’s already been called that once), why continue in this relationship, op? This is very different from a married couple deciding they’ll eat at Chipolte because it makes them think of when they were 20 and just met, or they had a nice vacation, one they are both happy with.
I
Agree with the person who says he probably wants sex and has figured out how to spend the least amount of money possible so that you will continue to provide the sex.

[Anonymous]

All these people giving OP grief for being materialistic are either trolls, cheapskates themselves, or have never had a close relationship with a cheapskate. It is an enormous drag because the one polestar of the cheapskate is saving money, and every other consideration or experience comes second to that.

And being cheap is often a way of controlling people more than about any real concerns about money. And it is passive aggressive because frugality is a virtue, so opposing it you are made to feel like an ogre. It is like that with cleanliness. People who take those supposed virtues to extremes do it because they have a need to control.

[Anonymous]

Do you want the type of life where you don’t get to do the more expensive things you like? You already were married and divorced for differences. Marry/date someone like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Taking you girlfriend out to Chipotle and calling it dinner is gross. Run.

Mine suggests Chipotle and then Venmos me for my burrito/drink. He’s a very wealthy tech person, divorced, heaps of money, one kid who’s graduated from college. He’s maniacal about billing me for “my share”, which is always half to the penny. I’d absolutely love it 😊 someone took me on a date to Chipotle. So this could be worse is what I mean to say….

Ugh. That’s horrible. Reminds of that scene in joy luck club with the crazy husband who refused to pay for his wife’s tampons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not cheap. You need to get more information. What does his house/apartment look like? Would he refuse to do something that costs money like the movies or a dinner out? Are his clothes ok?

OP here. He is cheap, but not out of necessity. He earns pretty good money. He has multiple houses. His main house is large, but he refuses to furnish it because he’s cheap. He grabs free furniture off the curb. If it’s not free he doesn’t own it.He refuses to do things that cost more than $15, and when do things that are less than that he still complains about the cost. His clothes are presentable.

If you want to marry him, the only real question is if you are content to live like this the rest of your life.

If you don’t want to marry him, but do want to get married, then you need to end it.

If you don’t want to get married, and just want to have someone to spend time with, then the question is only are you happy spending your time like this? If not, break up.

The question isn’t whether he is right or wrong.

The question isn’t whether this is the “best” you can get.

The question is just are you happy like this or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Taking you girlfriend out to Chipotle and calling it dinner is gross. Run.

Mine suggests Chipotle and then Venmos me for my burrito/drink. He’s a very wealthy tech person, divorced, heaps of money, one kid who’s graduated from college. He’s maniacal about billing me for “my share”, which is always half to the penny. I’d absolutely love it 😊 someone took me on a date to Chipotle. So this could be worse is what I mean to say….

Ugh. That’s horrible. Reminds of that scene in joy luck club with the crazy husband who refused to pay for his wife’s tampons.

OMG. I had forgotten about that -- I haven't read that book in 30 years, but now that you bring it up I remember that scene and how awful I felt reading it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
He has money. He refuses to spend it.

Why should he spend it on an ungrateful POS like OP and half the broads in this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He has money. He refuses to spend it.

Why should he spend it on an ungrateful POS like OP and half the broads in this thread?

Because it's a normal part of courtship? And who says she'd be ungrateful? Sounds like she'd be grateful as hell at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds shallow and materialistic

Actually it sounds to me like middle aged divorced man has decided he is not going to spend a lot on his dating life and is just using OP for sex while spending as little as possible to get there.

+1

I hate to say it, but PP nailed it. bet he'd take another woman he's more into to somewhere more expensive than Chipotle.

[Anonymous]

Deal breaker for me. I don't need to go to expensive dinners all the time but you're still a new-ish couple. If he won't ever take you somewhere and you're contributing often, no.

Just my preference. I can't stand people like this and I've been with average income men and rich ones. There's no correlation between wealth and generosity IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He has money. He refuses to spend it.

Why should he spend it on an ungrateful POS like OP and half the broads in this thread?

And you wonder why you struggle in your relationships? You loathe women!

[Anonymous]

People who own multiple homes but refuse to furnish them unless it's junk from the curb are not people I would date.

You can furnish a house, simply and inexpensively (IKEA, Target etc.) with new furniture that doesnt have bed bugs, animal hair/waste or human waste on them from a curbside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate cheap. I do not/will not date cheap men. My parents were cheap to the point of it being a mental illness.

I have broken up with men over cheapness. They were professionals and made a very good living. They made 2-3 times what I make.

Maybe if you did not grow up with it you do not understand it.

Agree! I cannot believe all of the happier giving OP a hard time. He is using you for free sex OP. Being alone is better than being with a cheapskate.