What exactly makes someone a “striver,” and why such disdain for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I associate it with “keeping up with the Joneses,” and general superficiality. Not sure if that’s what the term was meant to mean.

That’s what I’ve always assumed it means too. The people who buy the car, take the vacation, buy in the neighborhood etc. that they think will impress people or that they’re supposed to want vs. living their lives to make themselves happy. Also, always striving for the next level of success (or appearances there of) even if it means constantly stretching their budget or mental/time bandwidth so they can appear to have it all or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't explain the difference, but I know it when I see it. For example, I have a friend/acquaintance whose husband has made several huge leaps in his career over the last 5 or so years and now clearly makes bank. Upgraded the house, moved all three kids to private. That alone of course does not make them strivers.

However now, literally every time they go on vacation, she MUST post pictures of her family sitting in business/first class BOTH ways. It apparently is VERY important to her that people know she is flying business/first.

That she flies that way doesn't make her a striver - it's the fact that everyone must know.

It's that last sentence, which means you're contradicting your first sentence.

I don't think most people are bothered by people who want to work hard and get ahead, at least not if they're doing so ethically. It's the constant demands for attention, the need for everyone to be impressed by them, that makes strivers so exhausting to the rest of us. It's not just bragging about money; it's bragging about who they know, how savvy they are, how well-connected they are. Even if I were going to think "Oh, nice for her!" I'm not going to feel that way when you insist that I be impressed and say so. No, say more. MORE MORE MORE.

And she definitely has some striver friends who comment on the photos wanting to know the airline or otherwise comment on *which* particular business class this is and compare notes, making sure everyone knows they too fly business.

Some people love to talk about business class, airline experiences, and compare all of these. For a lot of these people, they’re just immersed in the world, almost like “foodies” they aren’t strivers they’re just totally tone deaf that other people don’t care so they talk about it publicly.

[Anonymous]

I think these people are offensive when it's clear they look down on others in the process of their striving--manifested as being dismissive and condescending towards others who don't have what they have or who can't help them advance in some way or burnish their image by association. People strive not just with material things but with their degrees, at work, etc. They use people and compete all the time and it's just ugly. This is not the same as being accomplished, working hard and succeeding. There is a self-centeredness and selfish quality
Haven't we all met these people?

[Anonymous]

I think anyone can be a striver. Paris Hilton is completely old money and is a striver. She’s not striving for money but is striving to stay in the media and limelight. She has other siblings who we know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't explain the difference, but I know it when I see it. For example, I have a friend/acquaintance whose husband has made several huge leaps in his career over the last 5 or so years and now clearly makes bank. Upgraded the house, moved all three kids to private. That alone of course does not make them strivers.

However now, literally every time they go on vacation, she MUST post pictures of her family sitting in business/first class BOTH ways. It apparently is VERY important to her that people know she is flying business/first.

That she flies that way doesn't make her a striver - it's the fact that everyone must know.

It's that last sentence, which means you're contradicting your first sentence.

I don't think most people are bothered by people who want to work hard and get ahead, at least not if they're doing so ethically. It's the constant demands for attention, the need for everyone to be impressed by them, that makes strivers so exhausting to the rest of us. It's not just bragging about money; it's bragging about who they know, how savvy they are, how well-connected they are. Even if I were going to think "Oh, nice for her!" I'm not going to feel that way when you insist that I be impressed and say so. No, say more. MORE MORE MORE.

And she definitely has some striver friends who comment on the photos wanting to know the airline or otherwise comment on *which* particular business class this is and compare notes, making sure everyone knows they too fly business.

Some people love to talk about business class, airline experiences, and compare all of these. For a lot of these people, they’re just immersed in the world, almost like “foodies” they aren’t strivers they’re just totally tone deaf that other people don’t care so they talk about it publicly.

Eh, that sounds like a stretch. Maybe they are just particularly boring strivers then.

[Anonymous]

Strivers are usually wealthier than old money. Most billionaires are not old money. Old money are predominantly millionaires.

There’s nothing really admirable about being old money anyway, I don’t feel at all like I’m missing out on that experience. Being self made is much more impressive and something to look up to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strivers are usually wealthier than old money. Most billionaires are not old money. Old money are predominantly millionaires.

There’s nothing really admirable about being old money anyway, I don’t feel at all like I’m missing out on that experience. Being self made is much more impressive and something to look up to.

Yeah I agree. Like Prince Harry is old money, but he's definitely nowhere near a billionaire. And in a way he's striving to make money since he's distanced himself from his old money family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strivers are usually wealthier than old money. Most billionaires are not old money. Old money are predominantly millionaires.

There’s nothing really admirable about being old money anyway, I don’t feel at all like I’m missing out on that experience. Being self made is much more impressive and something to look up to.

Agree that old money isn't impressive. However a lot of strivers don't have money but pretend like they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strivers are usually wealthier than old money. Most billionaires are not old money. Old money are predominantly millionaires.

There’s nothing really admirable about being old money anyway, I don’t feel at all like I’m missing out on that experience. Being self made is much more impressive and something to look up to.

Agree that old money isn't impressive. However a lot of strivers don't have money but pretend like they do.

I'm not really impressed by any amount of money. I just want myself and others to be basically fiscally responsible for themselves. I'm impressed by people's character, talents, intelligence, wit etc. Sometimes people who have made money have traits I admire, sometimes they don't. Same as people without money.