What exactly makes someone a “striver,” and why such disdain for them?

[Anonymous]

Users.

[Anonymous]

Strivers step on people on their way up and don't look back. New money people also look down on strivers; it isn't just a class thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I associate it with “keeping up with the Joneses,” and general superficiality. Not sure if that’s what the term was meant to mean.

+1
Old money doesn't care about keeping up with the Jonses. They typically just do their thing and half the things they do others don't understand. Like we never buy luxury cars and keep an old chevy pick up for yard/pets etc, yet we have 3 homes handed down via trust. Oh, and right now I have my Birkenstocks with socks, and 2 ct diamond earrings. It just doesn't make sense to some and literally I don't care.

How gauche to wear diamonds during the day. They’re all laughing at you.

Yep! And this is me caring....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I associate it with “keeping up with the Joneses,” and general superficiality. Not sure if that’s what the term was meant to mean.

+1
Old money doesn't care about keeping up with the Jonses. They typically just do their thing and half the things they do others don't understand. Like we never buy luxury cars and keep an old chevy pick up for yard/pets etc, yet we have 3 homes handed down via trust. Oh, and right now I have my Birkenstocks with socks, and 2 ct diamond earrings. It just doesn't make sense to some and literally I don't care.

Well, you are the cheap and trashy old money American. The European old money are very classy.

+1. PP is most certainly American new money. Which self respecting person goes around wearing 2 ct diamonds and crows about it on here?

All American money is "new" by European standards. But Americans HAVE money by any standards. btw I'm half British and of course the money is on my American side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of hate in this forum about “strivers.” What is it exactly that makes someone a striver? The fact that you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying a pretty house or nice car? Is it something more sinister like refusing to associate with people who don’t run with the right crowd?

And why do we hate this strivers? I hear the term associated a lot with new money. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to better your financial situation. And for the record, a lot of people from old money families came into that money from slave holders, factory owners before the days of safe working conditions, large plantations, etc. Frankly, I’d rather be a self made striver than have had great grands that got rich off the blood and toil of suppressed classes.

It's the more sinister part, as is evidenced by some replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I associate it with “keeping up with the Joneses,” and general superficiality. Not sure if that’s what the term was meant to mean.

+1
Old money doesn't care about keeping up with the Jonses. They typically just do their thing and half the things they do others don't understand. Like we never buy luxury cars and keep an old chevy pick up for yard/pets etc, yet we have 3 homes handed down via trust. Oh, and right now I have my Birkenstocks with socks, and 2 ct diamond earrings. It just doesn't make sense to some and literally I don't care.

Well, you are the cheap and trashy old money American. The European old money are very classy.

+1. PP is most certainly American new money. Which self respecting person goes around wearing 2 ct diamonds and crows about it on here?

I'm European old money and wear my grandaunt's original art deco, old cut big diamond every day. American old money is still puritan, ashamed, and not used to being comfortable around nice things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I associate it with “keeping up with the Joneses,” and general superficiality. Not sure if that’s what the term was meant to mean.

+1
Old money doesn't care about keeping up with the Jonses. They typically just do their thing and half the things they do others don't understand. Like we never buy luxury cars and keep an old chevy pick up for yard/pets etc, yet we have 3 homes handed down via trust. Oh, and right now I have my Birkenstocks with socks, and 2 ct diamond earrings. It just doesn't make sense to some and literally I don't care.

Does Old Money like "millionaire next door types" then? I just don't see Old money mixing with regular people, never met any of them. They run in their circles. But I met plenty of strivers, some successful ones with humble beginnings.

[Anonymous]

Striver will crash the economy to make money and have no moral compass.

Strivers create pyramid schemes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of hate in this forum about “strivers.” What is it exactly that makes someone a striver? The fact that you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying a pretty house or nice car? Is it something more sinister like refusing to associate with people who don’t run with the right crowd?

And why do we hate this strivers? I hear the term associated a lot with new money. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to better your financial situation. And for the record, a lot of people from old money families came into that money from slave holders, factory owners before the days of safe working conditions, large plantations, etc. Frankly, I’d rather be a self made striver than have had great grands that got rich off the blood and toil of suppressed classes.

I agree with you re strivers. But your second comment about old money is far off the mark. The Civil War destroyed slave wealth which is why the south was so deeply impoverished after the war as almost all southern wealth was tied up in land and slaves, the latter freed without compensation and the former badly devalued by the war and collapse of plantation agriculture.

Most of what people like to think of as "old money" is recent wealth, definitely post Civil War (which was 160 years ago) and most within the last few generations. And a great deal of it is finance related. And not sure you can legibly argue the working classes were suppressed when for that period the American working classes were the most well paid in the world and immigrants flocked to the US specifically because of the generous wages and higher standard of living for the American factory workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of hate in this forum about “strivers.” What is it exactly that makes someone a striver? The fact that you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying a pretty house or nice car? Is it something more sinister like refusing to associate with people who don’t run with the right crowd?

And why do we hate this strivers? I hear the term associated a lot with new money. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to better your financial situation. And for the record, a lot of people from old money families came into that money from slave holders, factory owners before the days of safe working conditions, large plantations, etc. Frankly, I’d rather be a self made striver than have had great grands that got rich off the blood and toil of suppressed classes.

I agree with you re strivers. But your second comment about old money is far off the mark. The Civil War destroyed slave wealth which is why the south was so deeply impoverished after the war as almost all southern wealth was tied up in land and slaves, the latter freed without compensation and the former badly devalued by the war and collapse of plantation agriculture.

Most of what people like to think of as "old money" is recent wealth, definitely post Civil War (which was 160 years ago) and most within the last few generations. And a great deal of it is finance related. And not sure you can legibly argue the working classes were suppressed when for that period the American working classes were the most well paid in the world and immigrants flocked to the US specifically because of the generous wages and higher standard of living for the American factory workers.

Most of the big old money in this country are descendants of the Industrial Revolution robber barons and the bankers who got their wealth out before the crash.

The civil war and depression/dust bowl brought down a ton of family wealth.

There are a ton of families like mine who have always had enough money, land, etc but it’s not Mellon money.

The idea that the big old money families pulled themselves up by the bootstraps, made their money ethically, and just worked hard is a myth.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, strivers are people who are insecure and didn't grow up with much but need to show off at every moment about the car they drive, the home they buy, the purses and labels they wear. They dress very flashy.

They are also more focused on being social climbers in using others to get ahead. Perfect example is when my spouse hired a friend's husband to work for their company for a few months as a consultant. The second the job contract ended, these "friends" were not interested in spending any time with us. The paycheck was over and we were of no use to them. We had gone to their birthday parties and when our birthdays came around, we didn't even get texts. So strivers only care about what you can do for them and when they perceive the value to be over, they move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of hate in this forum about “strivers.” What is it exactly that makes someone a striver? The fact that you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying a pretty house or nice car? Is it something more sinister like refusing to associate with people who don’t run with the right crowd?

And why do we hate this strivers? I hear the term associated a lot with new money. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to better your financial situation. And for the record, a lot of people from old money families came into that money from slave holders, factory owners before the days of safe working conditions, large plantations, etc. Frankly, I’d rather be a self made striver than have had great grands that got rich off the blood and toil of suppressed classes.

it is a class issue. The sort who disdains "stirvers" are the next generation of the old money who realize they did not achieve nearly what the "stivers" achieved. Because they were born on third base and never had to work that hard, and will always wonder if they could have made it without such a boost. So the one thing they can horde over a striver is access to whatever social or professional society they control. But that's the inconsistency...somehow "striving" to get into the upper tier is gauche while "striving" to stay there (or keep others out) is not. It's like Tom Wambsgans - he wanted in, and was ridiculed for it, but the moronic Roy offspring were working as hard as they could to stay where they were born. Same, same.

That said, the other issue I see, as a striver, is a code of conduct that the old money has and that the strivers usually do not have. The unwritten rules, the double standards and weird behaviors that one gets from growing up with money. No one speaks directly or honestly, no one likes to answer tough questions, no one seems comfotable "proving" themselves, unless it is on a golf course, or paddle tennis court, or some other weird rich passtime. Strivers made their bones challenging the norms, so they're a square peg. And there is a casualness to it, no one seems to be worried or in a hurry because they're already a part of the club, and most strivers aren't built that way (because if they sat back and didn't worry about achieving, they'd still be grinding it out in some flyover city). And I think the old money hates that more than the concept of someone achieving more than they did.

Definitely no chip on the shoulder there.

And it is 'pastime'.

I absolutely have a chip. It's what keeps me sharp and a step ahead of the soft old money navel gazers who envy my ability to succeed in any situation. I want to be a part of their club simply to say I gained entry.

And thanks for spell-checking my work, Timmy. Here's a quarter for the effort.

Lol. You certainly do have a chip. Doubt you are ahead of anyone, and if you gain entry to any exclusive clubs I want a front row ticket to mess you make of it given the personality and lack of social skills on display here...

I am already in their clubs. I have the social skills. That's the point. I didn't come from that world but worked hard and figuired out the game. 90% of the others in the club were born with it. Box checked, on to the next success suckers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Strivers" are motivated by getting ahead of others. Anyone who thinks this way, that they actually can be "ahead" of other people, is a crap person.

Wrong. Strivers are looking to improve their own situation, irrespective of others.

How do you improve your situation "irrespective of others"? We live in a society where everything is relative -- whether we are conscious of it or not. If you are in DC and you are "striving," it's not irrespective of others.

You obviously were born wealthy or UMC. If you were born poor or LMC, you want to get out of that life, period, not because you want to eclipse anyone else. You just want to not be poor and without opportunities as an absolute. Maybe that's not what most people have in mind when they think striver, but that's what it is. And it is synonymous with the American dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Strivers" are motivated by getting ahead of others. Anyone who thinks this way, that they actually can be "ahead" of other people, is a crap person.

Wrong. Strivers are looking to improve their own situation, irrespective of others.

How do you improve your situation "irrespective of others"? We live in a society where everything is relative -- whether we are conscious of it or not. If you are in DC and you are "striving," it's not irrespective of others.

You obviously were born wealthy or UMC. If you were born poor or LMC, you want to get out of that life, period, not because you want to eclipse anyone else. You just want to not be poor and without opportunities as an absolute. Maybe that's not what most people have in mind when they think striver, but that's what it is. And it is synonymous with the American dream.

Some truth to this. I don't know if I am a striver, but I worked hard to get out of the small rural, midwestern town where I grew up. I wasn't looking to beat anyone and never turned my nose up to my friends from there, but I always knew I wanted to get out and have a different life. My friends and family there are happy, and I am happy here, and we all still get along and see each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear a lot of hate in this forum about “strivers.” What is it exactly that makes someone a striver? The fact that you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor by buying a pretty house or nice car? Is it something more sinister like refusing to associate with people who don’t run with the right crowd?

And why do we hate this strivers? I hear the term associated a lot with new money. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to better your financial situation. And for the record, a lot of people from old money families came into that money from slave holders, factory owners before the days of safe working conditions, large plantations, etc. Frankly, I’d rather be a self made striver than have had great grands that got rich off the blood and toil of suppressed classes.

it is a class issue. The sort who disdains "stirvers" are the next generation of the old money who realize they did not achieve nearly what the "stivers" achieved. Because they were born on third base and never had to work that hard, and will always wonder if they could have made it without such a boost. So the one thing they can horde over a striver is access to whatever social or professional society they control. But that's the inconsistency...somehow "striving" to get into the upper tier is gauche while "striving" to stay there (or keep others out) is not. It's like Tom Wambsgans - he wanted in, and was ridiculed for it, but the moronic Roy offspring were working as hard as they could to stay where they were born. Same, same.

That said, the other issue I see, as a striver, is a code of conduct that the old money has and that the strivers usually do not have. The unwritten rules, the double standards and weird behaviors that one gets from growing up with money. No one speaks directly or honestly, no one likes to answer tough questions, no one seems comfotable "proving" themselves, unless it is on a golf course, or paddle tennis court, or some other weird rich passtime. Strivers made their bones challenging the norms, so they're a square peg. And there is a casualness to it, no one seems to be worried or in a hurry because they're already a part of the club, and most strivers aren't built that way (because if they sat back and didn't worry about achieving, they'd still be grinding it out in some flyover city). And I think the old money hates that more than the concept of someone achieving more than they did.

Definitely no chip on the shoulder there.

And it is 'pastime'.

I absolutely have a chip. It's what keeps me sharp and a step ahead of the soft old money navel gazers who envy my ability to succeed in any situation. I want to be a part of their club simply to say I gained entry.

And thanks for spell-checking my work, Timmy. Here's a quarter for the effort.

Lol. You certainly do have a chip. Doubt you are ahead of anyone, and if you gain entry to any exclusive clubs I want a front row ticket to mess you make of it given the personality and lack of social skills on display here...

I am already in their clubs. I have the social skills. That's the point. I didn't come from that world but worked hard and figuired out the game. 90% of the others in the club were born with it. Box checked, on to the next success suckers.

What's "next success" to you? What other "checkboxes" are you trying to check. Sounds as if you are playing some game.. The end of this game for EVERYONE, no matter how well you play it.. is 6 feet under.. We all end up the same at the end.