Dating for 50+ men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You would get a partner sightly younger to spend your elderly years with, travel and enjoy all benefits of very high joint income together. Or you can casually date and then die alone helped by an Asian nurse, scared for your income and assets. Your kids will get $10mm instead of $5mm. It's a matter of individual choice.

Hi. Not all geriatric nurses are Asian.

Do you have any more racist stereotypes you need help with?

In addition to being racist this poor woman doesn’t know much, in terms of actual facts.

Anyone who views relationships as transactionally as this person does still needs one financially.

Everyone who has been divorced, and everyone who has been betrayed in marriage and stayed, has learned the hard way to pay attention to the transactional component of even the most loving relationships.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:*and most of his assets are in a trust for his kids.

The real reason old men aren’t worth it.

Such an attractive mindset

No one wants to spend the last 15 of their remaining good years taking care of someone who will not take care of them, either personally or financially. If you’re not going to be there in person AND you’re not going to leave money for that eventual purpose, you are simply mining a younger woman for resources you will never repay. It’s different if you’re married and the remaining spouse has the remaining joint assets to provide for them.

Kind of ironic, coming from a gold digger.

Au contraire. I have millions. That is because I am not stupid.

She's rich and charming.

What a catch!

I am actually, and am also thin and beautiful. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You can have a blast dating at 50. I started dating when I was 53 and dated women within ten years (plus or minus) of my age.

If you want to date for a relationship, it works best if you match with women with a similar background (if you have kids in high school and college, stick with women who have kids the same age.)

If you are just in it for an FWB (or for NSA sex), it is even better. Many divorced women are DTF and are not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else.

One bit of advice about this, I made a significant mistake in my first FWB relationship. I thought she (my FWB) wanted to hold hands, cuddle, etc. before and after sex so I would do so with her. I came to find out she only did it because she thought I needed it. She was okay with meeting up just for sex and did not need anyone to hold her hand.

She was busy as a single mom working a demanding professional job. She also did not need expensive dinners or trips. Instead, she wanted a clean, attentive, and adventurous lover.

I had to cut my FWB loose b/c he wanted to get dinner, go to the movies, spend the weekend together. That’s all well and good but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Sad to see him go but we wanted different things.

Why on earth would you want a 50+ yo man for a FWB situation? I’d see men in their late twenties to thirties personally.

Not sure why would I date a 50+ man in my 40s unless he's into remarrying/long term partnership with cohabitation and merging finances/certain guarantees for me

Why do you want remarriage plus merging finances and "certain guarantees"? If you've already had kids and you have a career, what do you need marriage and financial merge and "guarantees" for?

And what does he get in exchange for providing merged finances and "guarantees" to you? Is your p*ssy really that great?

I would certainly benefit from a marriage to an equal earner (400K+) and at least 15 more years of building a joint life, wealth, joint assets and retirement planning with an equal partner. Of course I would expect being a primary beneficiary to all marital assets in such scenario. A man either should be able to provide it in his 50s (where they are usually at career prime and make about the same as me).

And what does he get out of this?

If you came at me with that deal - and I am that kind of earner - my reaction is "you are primary beneficiary of the marital assets and my kids get shut out? Pfffft, nope." I'm doing just great building wealth and planning my retirement by myself, I don't need to marry "an equal partner" for that.

You may say, why would you marry me if you're not the primary beneficiary of the marital assets? Well, you are clearly not poor and you will have no problem retiring comfortably if we maintain separate finances.

Getting remarried after you are done having kids is all downside for a man, tbh.

Your kids should get premarital assets/build on your own before marriage. There should be plenty for them already if you are that wealthy, particular if they are out of college and employed. I'm living my child $5mm+ assets.

You would get a partner sightly younger to spend your elderly years with, travel and enjoy all benefits of very high joint income together. Or you can casually date and then die alone helped by an Asian nurse, scared for your income and assets. Your kids will get $10mm instead of $5mm. It's a matter of individual choice.

I'm fine on my 400K/year, but I lived in a marriage with spouse making about same, and lifestyle you get for 800K joint income is not comparable. Not sure how it's not obvious. I don't want to be single in my elderly years, or have a partner who enjoys the benefits of joint income but leaves everything we earned together to his kids. In fact, it's agains the law: you can't leave out your spouse from marital assets

I'm a high earning woman and I think you're wrong here about what is best for YOU. You're much better off just keeping your money separate and sharing only living expenses if you move in with a partner. You don't want to get yourself financially tangled up with an older man. If things don't work out for any number of reasons, you don't want to make it hard for yourself to leave. The only asset you might want to own jointly is a house, and that is fine, otherwise, just don't do it. Downside outweighs upside.

I’m not entangling myself with older men. Only date around my own age, as it gives enough time to sync out careers, retirement and financial goals. 40s is new 30s, wheh people still have 20+ years of working career ahead of them. In fact, these are prime earning years. Why would I be with someone approaching 60s who’s scared to death of anything joint with a woman? I get absolutely nothing out such a relationship

It's not being "scared to death of anything joint with a woman" to point out that it has no benefit to the man and significant potential downside.

I don’t know how it can’t be a benefit to anybody in high COLA area to become nearly in 1 percentile HH income. And not sure what downsides are, if both spouses contribute equally. In fact, a younger female spouse would contribute more towards joint assets over time. You’d children wouldn’t be earning it: she and you would in second marriage. If you divorce either spouse gets 50%, same as if you weren’t married. But if you don’t divorce you get way cushier lifestyle in retirement and a partner

Would love to hear more on downsides.

This is how I see it too. With the added facet that if he is indeed significantly older, he should be earning significantly more, to offset the shorter runway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*and most of his assets are in a trust for his kids.

The real reason old men aren’t worth it.

Such an attractive mindset

No one wants to spend the last 15 of their remaining good years taking care of someone who will not take care of them, either personally or financially. If you’re not going to be there in person AND you’re not going to leave money for that eventual purpose, you are simply mining a younger woman for resources you will never repay. It’s different if you’re married and the remaining spouse has the remaining joint assets to provide for them.

Kind of ironic, coming from a gold digger.

Au contraire. I have millions. That is because I am not stupid.

She's rich and charming.

What a catch!

And she attaches dollar signs to everything, especially relationships. Control Freak.

First, people don't become multi-millionaires by having a casual attitude towards money; but second, having healthy boundaries around not being exploited is not tantamount to "attaching dollar signs to everything." If you are the guy upstream, I find it more sad that you are essentially preying on dim-witted women and/or having serial flings until these younger women wake up and realize what a waste of their time you are.

[Anonymous]

I suppose it becomes more fair if, assuming he gets sick first, he pays for his own professional care out of his own separate assets while continuing to contribute as prior to the joint household expenses and standard of living. Does that make it more palatable? In the scenario, he would also have to be okay with her not sticking around to do the day-to-day grunt work of caring for an older retired sick person, and maintaining whatever desired travel for work or leisure, as prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can have a blast dating at 50. I started dating when I was 53 and dated women within ten years (plus or minus) of my age.

If you want to date for a relationship, it works best if you match with women with a similar background (if you have kids in high school and college, stick with women who have kids the same age.)

If you are just in it for an FWB (or for NSA sex), it is even better. Many divorced women are DTF and are not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else.

One bit of advice about this, I made a significant mistake in my first FWB relationship. I thought she (my FWB) wanted to hold hands, cuddle, etc. before and after sex so I would do so with her. I came to find out she only did it because she thought I needed it. She was okay with meeting up just for sex and did not need anyone to hold her hand.

She was busy as a single mom working a demanding professional job. She also did not need expensive dinners or trips. Instead, she wanted a clean, attentive, and adventurous lover.

I had to cut my FWB loose b/c he wanted to get dinner, go to the movies, spend the weekend together. That’s all well and good but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Sad to see him go but we wanted different things.

Why on earth would you want a 50+ yo man for a FWB situation? I’d see men in their late twenties to thirties personally.

Not sure why would I date a 50+ man in my 40s unless he's into remarrying/long term partnership with cohabitation and merging finances/certain guarantees for me

Why do you want remarriage plus merging finances and "certain guarantees"? If you've already had kids and you have a career, what do you need marriage and financial merge and "guarantees" for?

And what does he get in exchange for providing merged finances and "guarantees" to you? Is your p*ssy really that great?

I would certainly benefit from a marriage to an equal earner (400K+) and at least 15 more years of building a joint life, wealth, joint assets and retirement planning with an equal partner. Of course I would expect being a primary beneficiary to all marital assets in such scenario. A man either should be able to provide it in his 50s (where they are usually at career prime and make about the same as me).

And what does he get out of this?

If you came at me with that deal - and I am that kind of earner - my reaction is "you are primary beneficiary of the marital assets and my kids get shut out? Pfffft, nope." I'm doing just great building wealth and planning my retirement by myself, I don't need to marry "an equal partner" for that.

You may say, why would you marry me if you're not the primary beneficiary of the marital assets? Well, you are clearly not poor and you will have no problem retiring comfortably if we maintain separate finances.

Getting remarried after you are done having kids is all downside for a man, tbh.

SO what do you propose is the equitable thing to do in light of the fact that she will likely outlive him and he will receive her care in od age, while she will need the same but he will not be present to provide it?

Keeping in mind that she also has children, and like you does not want their inheritance jeopardized by an unrelated third party?

Would it be fair to put all pre-marital assets into separate trusts and then leave subsequently accrued marital assets to the surviving spouse?

If you’re the woman in this scenario, just don’t get married. You can enjoy the upgraded lifestyle by dating or moving in together. Keep your assets separate. When he gets sick, let his kids take over.

[Anonymous]

I keep forgetting that all of the women that spend their free time on this site are: naturally thin, model-gorgeous, charismatic high earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting that all of the women that spend their free time on this site are: naturally thin, model-gorgeous, charismatic high earners.

Probably not all, but there is at least one. Model-gorgeous no, but naturally thin and pretty.

[Anonymous]

So if there are any 50+ men still paying attention, help a woman out: I’m late 40s, thin/fit/attractive (but not gonna claim I look like I’m 30!), successful enough to be told I’m intimidating by a number of nice guys, looking for someone more or less my age and financial status to have fun with. Def don’t want to get married, not looking for financial support in any way (but also don’t want to be a sugar mama), but want more then FWB. would love to find someone to ski, dive, travel with. Are all the successful, fit/attractive guys my age looking at the younger babes? Where should I look?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting that all of the women that spend their free time on this site are: naturally thin, model-gorgeous, charismatic high earners.

Probably not all, but there is at least one. Model-gorgeous no, but naturally thin and pretty.

Most women who are 4's think they are 10's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting that all of the women that spend their free time on this site are: naturally thin, model-gorgeous, charismatic high earners.

Probably not all, but there is at least one. Model-gorgeous no, but naturally thin and pretty.

Most women who are 4's think they are 10's.

I don’t refer to myself or anyone else on a numeric rating scale. You sound like a really reliable judge of quality. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can have a blast dating at 50. I started dating when I was 53 and dated women within ten years (plus or minus) of my age.

If you want to date for a relationship, it works best if you match with women with a similar background (if you have kids in high school and college, stick with women who have kids the same age.)

If you are just in it for an FWB (or for NSA sex), it is even better. Many divorced women are DTF and are not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else.

One bit of advice about this, I made a significant mistake in my first FWB relationship. I thought she (my FWB) wanted to hold hands, cuddle, etc. before and after sex so I would do so with her. I came to find out she only did it because she thought I needed it. She was okay with meeting up just for sex and did not need anyone to hold her hand.

She was busy as a single mom working a demanding professional job. She also did not need expensive dinners or trips. Instead, she wanted a clean, attentive, and adventurous lover.

I had to cut my FWB loose b/c he wanted to get dinner, go to the movies, spend the weekend together. That’s all well and good but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Sad to see him go but we wanted different things.

Why on earth would you want a 50+ yo man for a FWB situation? I’d see men in their late twenties to thirties personally.

Not sure why would I date a 50+ man in my 40s unless he's into remarrying/long term partnership with cohabitation and merging finances/certain guarantees for me

Why do you want remarriage plus merging finances and "certain guarantees"? If you've already had kids and you have a career, what do you need marriage and financial merge and "guarantees" for?

And what does he get in exchange for providing merged finances and "guarantees" to you? Is your p*ssy really that great?

I would certainly benefit from a marriage to an equal earner (400K+) and at least 15 more years of building a joint life, wealth, joint assets and retirement planning with an equal partner. Of course I would expect being a primary beneficiary to all marital assets in such scenario. A man either should be able to provide it in his 50s (where they are usually at career prime and make about the same as me). In a lack of such relationship I would just sleep with younger man for health related reasons without expecting much.

I feel sorry for the guy who hooks up with this nasty old goat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if there are any 50+ men still paying attention, help a woman out: I’m late 40s, thin/fit/attractive (but not gonna claim I look like I’m 30!), successful enough to be told I’m intimidating by a number of nice guys, looking for someone more or less my age and financial status to have fun with. Def don’t want to get married, not looking for financial support in any way (but also don’t want to be a sugar mama), but want more then FWB. would love to find someone to ski, dive, travel with. Are all the successful, fit/attractive guys my age looking at the younger babes? Where should I look?

Why don't you travel with girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if there are any 50+ men still paying attention, help a woman out: I’m late 40s, thin/fit/attractive (but not gonna claim I look like I’m 30!), successful enough to be told I’m intimidating by a number of nice guys, looking for someone more or less my age and financial status to have fun with. Def don’t want to get married, not looking for financial support in any way (but also don’t want to be a sugar mama), but want more then FWB. would love to find someone to ski, dive, travel with. Are all the successful, fit/attractive guys my age looking at the younger babes? Where should I look?

Why don't you travel with girlfriends?

I do. and I travel alone, and love it. but i also like sex, and the feeling of playing hard with someone I’m into (and vice versa).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if there are any 50+ men still paying attention, help a woman out: I’m late 40s, thin/fit/attractive (but not gonna claim I look like I’m 30!), successful enough to be told I’m intimidating by a number of nice guys, looking for someone more or less my age and financial status to have fun with. Def don’t want to get married, not looking for financial support in any way (but also don’t want to be a sugar mama), but want more then FWB. would love to find someone to ski, dive, travel with. Are all the successful, fit/attractive guys my age looking at the younger babes? Where should I look?

Why don't you travel with girlfriends?

I do. and I travel alone, and love it. but i also like sex, and the feeling of playing hard with someone I’m into (and vice versa).

In that case do what I was doing for a while: f..k someone young locally (you can last 1-2 years) and spend your own money on your travel. An old fart is not worth it (I mean, f...ng for the sake of shared travel expenses)