Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends

[Anonymous]

Totally weird and ungracious. I would be offended for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.

Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.

God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.

Like your vast vocabulary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.

Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.

God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.

NP And your vocabulary is big?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.

Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.

God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.

Stop with things that are not relevant and with the ad hominem.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd be really hurt by this, too. Those people sound like jackasses. Honestly, I would hold a grudge about something like that forever and ever.

[Anonymous]

I would not hang out with them any longer but let kid. I also would not have taken this trip with them. No way in hell would I or my spouse both agree to something like that.

[Anonymous]

So they probably made the plan with you first, and later found out that the other family with the nanny was going. Then they started making more detailed plans with the nanny family, but decided to leave you out because the nanny didn't want to watch all of the children.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely feel slighted. It would be fine if had just been you and this family and it turned out they wanted to hang out/meet up less than you thought. But since they were doing it with someone else, it feels like being snubbed by your ex best friend at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would never, ever, plan a trip with people who were not very close relatives or very dear friends. And even then, I'd make sure we had plenty of time to distance from each other.

These people are a little socially unaware. At least now you know that.

Not OP, and I get what you're saying - to an extent, but how does one make "better" friends if not by spending more time with them. There has to be a "first" trip together right? This conceivably could have been the first trip of many and become "dear" friends.

That's how me and my best friend got to be best friends. We met, hung out locally a lot and then went to the beach together. We've now been friends for 30 years. But it took me going on a first trip etc to get that bond going.

I agree. I can't fathom why people are saying the trip was a bad idea. My kids have had a blast when we did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would never, ever, plan a trip with people who were not very close relatives or very dear friends. And even then, I'd make sure we had plenty of time to distance from each other.

These people are a little socially unaware. At least now you know that.

Not OP, and I get what you're saying - to an extent, but how does one make "better" friends if not by spending more time with them. There has to be a "first" trip together right? This conceivably could have been the first trip of many and become "dear" friends.

That's how me and my best friend got to be best friends. We met, hung out locally a lot and then went to the beach together. We've now been friends for 30 years. But it took me going on a first trip etc to get that bond going.

I agree. I can't fathom why people are saying the trip was a bad idea. My kids have had a blast when we did this.

You can’t fathom why people are saying so? Did the OP make better friends with them? Obviously it was a bad idea. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not hang out with them any longer but let kid. I also would not have taken this trip with them. No way in hell would I or my spouse both agree to something like that.

They didn't agree to it! They thought they were meeting another family on vacation and that they would hang out and vacation together. That's not what happened at all. Two families dumped their kids with a nanny and lived it up solo while the other family had a family vacation. It's bizarre!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not hang out with them any longer but let kid. I also would not have taken this trip with them. No way in hell would I or my spouse both agree to something like that.

They didn't agree to it! They thought they were meeting another family on vacation and that they would hang out and vacation together. That's not what happened at all. Two families dumped their kids with a nanny and lived it up solo while the other family had a family vacation. It's bizarre!

They didn’t agree to go on vacation with them? The OP clearly states that. Are you dense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not hang out with them any longer but let kid. I also would not have taken this trip with them. No way in hell would I or my spouse both agree to something like that.

They didn't agree to it! They thought they were meeting another family on vacation and that they would hang out and vacation together. That's not what happened at all. Two families dumped their kids with a nanny and lived it up solo while the other family had a family vacation. It's bizarre!

Which is why they should not have agreed to vacation together. Thank you for confirming what I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.

I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So they probably made the plan with you first, and later found out that the other family with the nanny was going. Then they started making more detailed plans with the nanny family, but decided to leave you out because the nanny didn't want to watch all of the children.

Yes this is what happened but it's rude. They should have brought the other family they invited into the fold. They spent no time thinking about them at all.