Would you be offended? Weird experience with friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.

Okay now you can move on. They were rude and you aren’t close so the decision to vacation together was stupid on your part. Now move on.

God, stop blaming the OP. And get a bigger vocabulary.

NP And your vocabulary is big?

Wow, struck a nerve, eh?

Yeah, it did hit a nerve with you apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.

Where did OP imply this had happened?

OP didn't but simply is overlooking this assuming all fault lies with anyone by her own family.

You’re just making up stories.

[Anonymous]

weird.
on the other hand, maybe the middle family needed adult time and didn't feel comfortable asking another person's nanny to take care of your kids?
and 4 kids could be a lot for one adult

[Anonymous]

So when the nanny DID watch all six kids, were you invited to do something with just the adults? Or did the other two couples go off together and you and your DH were left to find something to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.

I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.

Using op for what? They didn’t get anything from her.

The kids got playmates

The kids already had playmates with the other parents, dummy.

No. Only one of the kids who coordinated with both families had a friend through the third family that joined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's obvious they asked your husband about sharing the nanny but he completely forgot/failed to tell you and he's covering his tracks.

And as others have said it's not the kids' fault.

'
Are you OP's friend? If you are, what the f* kind of idiot are you that you asked the husband and not both parents???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So when the nanny DID watch all six kids, were you invited to do something with just the adults? Or did the other two couples go off together and you and your DH were left to find something to do?

Didn’t you read? She said the adults went off on their own and she and her DH were not included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bizarre. bazaar is a type of street market typically seen in the middle east.

And if you were a contestant on a trivia show that little tidbit might matter.

Spelling isn’t trivia. It’s literacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blaming the victim. OP I’m sorry that happened to you. Those people are total jerks and I would drop them collleteky including carpooling with them. They sound like complete users. They just wanted a playmate for their kid.

I think this is what the trip was about. Users. You were there for your kids.

Using op for what? They didn’t get anything from her.

The kids got playmates

The kids already had playmates with the other parents, dummy.

No. Only one of the kids who coordinated with both families had a friend through the third family that joined.

They all played together, dummy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. What did they actually *say* when the guys were golfing and the other women were going to the spa? I can't fathom how uncomfortable that would be to not only be left behind but for them not to see how awful it looks? Like, hey Larla and Larlo, we're heading out for dinner just us, have a nice night? Or did you find out later? And they thought that was OK?

We honestly barely saw the other adults the whole trip. The hard part was that we weren’t staying together in a house or anything and our hotel rooms were not right next to one another (hotel has different buildings so we weren’t all together) so they would just kind of disappear. They didn’t say we are going to the spa and you aren’t invited explicitly.

I basically texted them every morning to see what they were up to and they would often reply that the kids are at the pool/beach and to come down to meet up, but the adults were not there and the kids were all with the nanny. So DH and I would sit by the pool to watch our kids and the nanny watched the rest. The moms would pop out from time to time and I would ask what they were up to and most of the time they said they were going to run to their rooms for a bit and come back.

We did all have dinner together the last night but I was pretty much over them all by them and kind of ignored them.

Super annoying. They did this to themselves by arranging for you all to stay at the same hotel but then making this arrangement with the nanny and the other family. Like it should have been obvious at that point that it was going to be really awkward because the only reason you guys booked this specific hotel was to be near this family, but if you aren't in on the childcare, you're not going to be able to hang out with them. This was stupid on their part and should have been easy to foresee.

BUT I actually think the real issues is that once it was actually happening, they didn't own up to their mistake or do anything to try and make it better. Like even if they are kind of obtuse and didn't realize this deal with the nanny was going to totally change the nature of the trip for you guys, it was obvious once you were there. At that point, the mature thing to do is acknowledge your mistake ("I didn't realize this thing with the nanny was going to make it hard for us all to hang out -- I'm so sorry") and maybe make some effort to rectify it (maybe look into sitters through the hotel and see if you could go in on a sitter once or twice with the other family so that at least the four of you could go out to dinner or some other activity). Even by just acknowledging the problem and your role in creating it, you'd go a long way towards rebuilding some good will.

But the fact that they idiotically set this situation up and then did absolutely nothing to apologize or fix it? Nope, done. I'd still do carpool/playdates because that's for the kids, but I would never socialize with them as a family again. Rude AF.

Totally agree with the bolded. To me it sounds like there may have been several factors/dynamics at play, but the lack of this basic ability to act like an adult and COMMUNICATE is totally gauche.

[Anonymous]

op--this sucks and I would have been sad and mad if it happened to me..

Despite that I think the biggest looser here is the nanny. Nannying on vacation out of a hotel is HARD, add more kids and disappearing parents dumping you with endlessly long days--- yikes. I hope they gave her a huge bonus.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would be so upset. I don't typically hold grudges and I'm not confrontational, but this is so over the top that I would have a hard time not mentioning it to them and I would definitely hold a grudge forever. Playdates would be fine but I'm not sure if I would be up for the level of communication required for regular carpooling.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP, that sounds really awful. I’m sorry this happens to you. I hope you and your DH managed to have fun even if the other families were super awkward, rude and weird.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you didn’t miss a text or email? Or your DH didn’t get one? I just find this hard to believe