Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

I always laugh at all these parents with so many individual activities. "Kid one plays cello and soccer, kid two does debate team, piano, and basketball." You made your bed now you have to sleep in it lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No parents are just coddlers.

[Anonymous]

How do your kids get to middle school and high school without knowing anyone to carpool with?

[Anonymous]

Have you tried skewing your drop off time? If I drop at the very beginning of window, we sail through. As it gets closer to the end of the window, it takes forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried skewing your drop off time? If I drop at the very beginning of window, we sail through. As it gets closer to the end of the window, it takes forever.

This works in the morning, but not in the afternoon. Parents at our school start lining up 30 minutes early, which defeats the point of being first. OP kids just need to walk home. They will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always laugh at all these parents with so many individual activities. "Kid one plays cello and soccer, kid two does debate team, piano, and basketball." You made your bed now you have to sleep in it lol

Two activities per kids is hardly “so many”. It’s just now they are olde you can’t just say “you all are doing Saturday soccer”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Can you please stop infantizing school kids. They can walk or ride bikes to school. Your ancestors are laughing at you right now.

Our ancestors ALL smelled terrible all of the time. In your scenario, just your kids will smell terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe find a safe spot to drop them off half mile away and have them walk the rest. Same with finding a safe pick up spot at end of day. Will help you avoid lines. Whenever my kid needed to be picked up I had her meet me at nearby plaza. Those carpool lines are the worst.

I came here to say this. Make them "walkers" so you can drop and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Can you please stop infantizing school kids. They can walk or ride bikes to school. Your ancestors are laughing at you right now.

Our ancestors ALL smelled terrible all of the time. In your scenario, just your kids will smell terrible.

My kids walk and bike a lot more than 2 miles a day and they don't smell. What the heck are you talking about? How out of shape are your kids?

And we wonder why the obesity epidemic in kids is so bad. And please stop with the "my kids get plenty of exercise in his 1k monthly sports practices!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried skewing your drop off time? If I drop at the very beginning of window, we sail through. As it gets closer to the end of the window, it takes forever.

This works in the morning, but not in the afternoon. Parents at our school start lining up 30 minutes early, which defeats the point of being first. OP kids just need to walk home. They will be fine.

I made the mistake of scheduling a 2:30pm appointment for my daughter and picked her up at 2:15pm only to not be able to get to the parking lot because the line for carpool was already too long. I had to go into the bus loop, put the hazards on and walk halfway around the building to the front door. Carpooling is beyond ridiculous anymore. 80% of those kids should be walking or on a bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried skewing your drop off time? If I drop at the very beginning of window, we sail through. As it gets closer to the end of the window, it takes forever.

This works in the morning, but not in the afternoon. Parents at our school start lining up 30 minutes early, which defeats the point of being first. OP kids just need to walk home. They will be fine.

You pick up towards the end of the pickup window. It's almost never crowded if your kid is among the last to leave.

I agree with those that suggested that OP needs to drop the kids off maybe a mile away from school and have them walk the rest of the way. Or ride a bike if that's safe. I disagree with those suggesting dropping activities - the activities aren't to pad their college resume, it's there because the kids might be passionate about them, and it keeps them off screens and social media. Idle hands and all that.

The vast majority of good teachers of any instrument will teach out of their studios. Expecting them to go to the student is pretty unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

[Anonymous]

My oldest going to HS was a complete shock on the amount of driving/time involvement. Frankly OP I am completely impressed that you are only losing it in March!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

Be careful what you wish for with carpooling. If you choose unwisely (or wisely at first and it deteriorates), you end up with people who are chronically late (and then your kid is late), dealing with last min changes among families, cancellations at last minute, and then if/when the kids have "issues" uncomfortable car rides.

My kid is driving by early fall and I cannot wait not to be tethered to #$%# carpools. It wasn't always this way but as they got older, it has become so unpleasant.

That sounds within the range of perfectly normal for a carpool. The people most of my friends don't like to carpool with are the ones that are rigid like you. Even if you are driving your own kid people are sometimes running late or have something come up. Kids get sick or need doctor's appointments or there is a work emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).