Church Raised Adult Children who Reject their Religion and are Raising Kids Without Church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by the vitriol in the responses. (Though the suggestion to secretly baptize is absurd.)

My own mother is extremely religious and devout. She is also a kind and loving person, and wonderful grandparent. I was raised in the church but no longer believe. She believes that faith is important and a key to a fulfilling and meaningful life. While I don't, I have observed how her religion has been good for her and those around her.

She worries about both me and my kids, not because she thinks we are "going to hell" but because her faith is a driving force in her life and she thinks we are missing out. When my kids stay with her, I am certain she talks about her religion and she often takes them to events at my childhood church.

I am fine with it. Exposure to *good* people of faith and *good* people who are not religious enables my kids to make their own decisions as they get older.

and this is your own decision and may differ among other parents.

Consider that it could be that your mother, or others at her church, are telling your kids that they must believe in God or else suffer for eternity and one of your kids may be suseptible to this type of thinking.

PP here, and of course I agree that others have differing views. Was just offering mine.

My mother is not telling my child that. And I'm fairly confident that nobody else at the church is doing so either, given that I grew up in that church and know what they teach. And to the extent that my child does hear something like that, I feel good about the way I raised them and that they would think critically and discuss with me.

Please consider that things may have changed since you grew up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by the vitriol in the responses. (Though the suggestion to secretly baptize is absurd.)

My own mother is extremely religious and devout. She is also a kind and loving person, and wonderful grandparent. I was raised in the church but no longer believe. She believes that faith is important and a key to a fulfilling and meaningful life. While I don't, I have observed how her religion has been good for her and those around her.

She worries about both me and my kids, not because she thinks we are "going to hell" but because her faith is a driving force in her life and she thinks we are missing out. When my kids stay with her, I am certain she talks about her religion and she often takes them to events at my childhood church.

I am fine with it. Exposure to *good* people of faith and *good* people who are not religious enables my kids to make their own decisions as they get older.

and this is your own decision and may differ among other parents.

Consider that it could be that your mother, or others at her church, are telling your kids that they must believe in God or else suffer for eternity and one of your kids may be suseptible to this type of thinking.

PP here, and of course I agree that others have differing views. Was just offering mine.

My mother is not telling my child that. And I'm fairly confident that nobody else at the church is doing so either, given that I grew up in that church and know what they teach. And to the extent that my child does hear something like that, I feel good about the way I raised them and that they would think critically and discuss with me.

Please consider that things may have changed since you grew up.

I have considered it. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by the vitriol in the responses. (Though the suggestion to secretly baptize is absurd.)

My own mother is extremely religious and devout. She is also a kind and loving person, and wonderful grandparent. I was raised in the church but no longer believe. She believes that faith is important and a key to a fulfilling and meaningful life. While I don't, I have observed how her religion has been good for her and those around her.

She worries about both me and my kids, not because she thinks we are "going to hell" but because her faith is a driving force in her life and she thinks we are missing out. When my kids stay with her, I am certain she talks about her religion and she often takes them to events at my childhood church.

I am fine with it. Exposure to *good* people of faith and *good* people who are not religious enables my kids to make their own decisions as they get older.

"good people" is BS.

Every day in this country a Pastor, Minister, & or Priest molests, rapes, and grooms kids. So great grandma takes the kids to see these "good people".
Amazing parenting on your part. Not to mention what do you do when your kids come home with Grandma's teachings if you don't believe? Again amazing parenting.

These people are not "good people" just because they go to church that is absurd.

You sound really scared of life in general. Keep sheltering you and your kids in your cocoon, it won't turn them into neurotic adults like you at all. sarcasm

You sound really mean and nasty and eager to put down people on line, which is hopefully the only outlet you have for your meanness. not sarcasm.

I want to be clear that the PP you are responding to is not me- the person who said they are OK with the my kid's grandparent exposing them to their religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. It's typically because they were raised evangelical / fundie or strict Catholic. The grandkids will eventually find a church if they so choose and get baptized later in life.

Evangelicals don't baptize babies.

I think one group believes in post death baptism. Maybe grandma could do that.

Mormons.

Evangelicals don’t believe in baptizing babies because the individual needs to make the choice for themselves but as soon as a child chooses to be baptized, then that’s when it can happen.

I grew up in an extremely religious, nearly cult like church, and have not raised my kids in a church, but I still am a believer.

[Anonymous]

It's really only healthy that there is a large deconstruction movement going on, and if you aren't sure why, just look at how toxicity in today's legislature is trying to influence public life. This is the generation to say "No." We are raising our kids to be ethical humans not tied to patriarchial fairy tales, and this is happening in every religion, not just Christianity. Sure, there are plenty of young people holding on. But that has to do with other things, not the general trajectory of rejection. Many of us will hold on to secular pieces of religion, some traditions, but not the religion.

Yes. It's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by the vitriol in the responses. (Though the suggestion to secretly baptize is absurd.)

My own mother is extremely religious and devout. She is also a kind and loving person, and wonderful grandparent. I was raised in the church but no longer believe. She believes that faith is important and a key to a fulfilling and meaningful life. While I don't, I have observed how her religion has been good for her and those around her.

She worries about both me and my kids, not because she thinks we are "going to hell" but because her faith is a driving force in her life and she thinks we are missing out. When my kids stay with her, I am certain she talks about her religion and she often takes them to events at my childhood church.

I am fine with it. Exposure to *good* people of faith and *good* people who are not religious enables my kids to make their own decisions as they get older.

"good people" is BS.

Every day in this country a Pastor, Minister, & or Priest molests, rapes, and grooms kids. So great grandma takes the kids to see these "good people".
Amazing parenting on your part. Not to mention what do you do when your kids come home with Grandma's teachings if you don't believe? Again amazing parenting.

These people are not "good people" just because they go to church that is absurd.

You sound really scared of life in general. Keep sheltering you and your kids in your cocoon, it won't turn them into neurotic adults like you at all. sarcasm

You sound really mean and nasty and eager to put down people on line, which is hopefully the only outlet you have for your meanness. not sarcasm.

Ok, apologies for the sarcasm but everything else I said I stand by. You do sound scared to expose your kids to viewpoints different from yours. Assuming you are not being dramatic (which you very well may be), you sound irrationally afraid of all churches being a place of physical and sexual abuse. Kids who are raised with fear and anxiety become anxious adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really only healthy that there is a large deconstruction movement going on, and if you aren't sure why, just look at how toxicity in today's legislature is trying to influence public life. This is the generation to say "No." We are raising our kids to be ethical humans not tied to patriarchial fairy tales, and this is happening in every religion, not just Christianity. Sure, there are plenty of young people holding on. But that has to do with other things, not the general trajectory of rejection. Many of us will hold on to secular pieces of religion, some traditions, but not the religion.

Yes. It's time.

LOL. And we wonder why young adults today are the most depressed and lonely ever.

[Anonymous]

I worry about baptism on some level, but I also know that's superstitious of me. I don't really believe water and magic words get my kids or grand kids into heaven.

I do think familiarity with the Bible is important culturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really only healthy that there is a large deconstruction movement going on, and if you aren't sure why, just look at how toxicity in today's legislature is trying to influence public life. This is the generation to say "No." We are raising our kids to be ethical humans not tied to patriarchial fairy tales, and this is happening in every religion, not just Christianity. Sure, there are plenty of young people holding on. But that has to do with other things, not the general trajectory of rejection. Many of us will hold on to secular pieces of religion, some traditions, but not the religion.

Yes. It's time.

LOL. And we wonder why young adults today are the most depressed and lonely ever.

I find it depressing that anyone could believe in a God that would send unbaptized babies to hell, but that a serial killer who is baptized and repents gets to enjoy eternity in Heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really only healthy that there is a large deconstruction movement going on, and if you aren't sure why, just look at how toxicity in today's legislature is trying to influence public life. This is the generation to say "No." We are raising our kids to be ethical humans not tied to patriarchial fairy tales, and this is happening in every religion, not just Christianity. Sure, there are plenty of young people holding on. But that has to do with other things, not the general trajectory of rejection. Many of us will hold on to secular pieces of religion, some traditions, but not the religion.

Yes. It's time.

LOL. And we wonder why young adults today are the most depressed and lonely ever.

I find it depressing that anyone could believe in a God that would send unbaptized babies to hell, but that a serial killer who is baptized and repents gets to enjoy eternity in Heaven.

And you know that would be God's judgement because? I don't know of any church that claims they know how God will judge each individual. I would probably stay away from those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry about baptism on some level, but I also know that's superstitious of me. I don't really believe water and magic words get my kids or grand kids into heaven.

I do think familiarity with the Bible is important culturally.

You can become familiar with the Bible without joining a church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really only healthy that there is a large deconstruction movement going on, and if you aren't sure why, just look at how toxicity in today's legislature is trying to influence public life. This is the generation to say "No." We are raising our kids to be ethical humans not tied to patriarchial fairy tales, and this is happening in every religion, not just Christianity. Sure, there are plenty of young people holding on. But that has to do with other things, not the general trajectory of rejection. Many of us will hold on to secular pieces of religion, some traditions, but not the religion.

Yes. It's time.

LOL. And we wonder why young adults today are the most depressed and lonely ever.

Sez who? And who sez going to church reduces depression and loneliness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had your chance to raise your children, now they are raising their own.

What drove me away from religion is the idea that "if you don't believe what I do, you will go to hell". I just couldn't get this idea of Heaven as a reward for obedience, and hell as punishment, to mesh with the loving God everyone was preaching about. I also couldn't imagine a loving God would sentence say, every Hindu in India, to hell.

Yes exactly. You only get to raise your own kids. Would you have wanted your parents to override your teaching your own kids?

My MIL feels we are not raising the children properly in the faith. We give precisely zero ducks. We even belong to a church! It's just a church that doesn't believe in Biblical inerrancy or in Christianity being the only true religion. She should realize how lucky she is that we even take them to church at all given our actual beliefs.

For her part, MIL tries to give them Bible lessons during her time with them, which goes over like a lead balloon with our tween/teens. All she's doing is alienating them and making them think she's no fun to be around.

[Anonymous]

My kids are all baptized, had communion and confirmation. I don’t want to have to go to heaven while my grandkids are in hell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all baptized, had communion and confirmation. I don’t want to have to go to heaven while my grandkids are in hell

Go back under your bridge, troll.