Church Raised Adult Children who Reject their Religion and are Raising Kids Without Church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't do this.

I'm a parent who is raising my kids without religion and whose kids are not baptized. If my very Catholic in-laws did any of this, it would be the last time they saw their grandkids. Both DH and I would cut them off without hesitation. If my teenage or adult children want to talk about religion with you, that would be fine. While they are small, however, it's my decision. If you stepped over this line as a grandparent, you would be out.

Please, so dramatic. I became an atheist as an adult and would not fly off the handle if my parents/in-laws secretly baptized my kids. It literally means nothing to me. I do think it is weird and intrusive, but, I would not "cut them off".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't do this.

I'm a parent who is raising my kids without religion and whose kids are not baptized. If my very Catholic in-laws did any of this, it would be the last time they saw their grandkids. Both DH and I would cut them off without hesitation. If my teenage or adult children want to talk about religion with you, that would be fine. While they are small, however, it's my decision. If you stepped over this line as a grandparent, you would be out.

Please, so dramatic. I became an atheist as an adult and would not fly off the handle if my parents/in-laws secretly baptized my kids. It literally means nothing to me. I do think it is weird and intrusive, but, I would not "cut them off".

You do you, boo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't have grandkids yet and we weren't strict churchgoers over the years but having been raised a Catholic, I still feel very strongly about baptism so I would suggest to my child that they consider baptism by a Christian minister. Heck I think you can actually get them to do it at the hospital in a few minutes and it doesn't need to be whole ceremony. But if they refused, then I wouldn't try and get it done myself or badger them about it. Because in the end, logically I can understand that God would not deny a baby heaven bc they were not baptized. and yes I realize this contradicts and I am still entitle to my own belief

For bible stories, maybe it might be ok to read the Christmas and Easter story and just say that there are some people who practice the Christian religion and celebrate the holiday in a different way and this is the story about it. Nothing wrong with letting kids know how others celebrate various holidays. I wouldn't suggest it is a better or right way or that their family needed to start doing it. But before reading any such stories, I would check with my child to make sure they were ok with this approach and if not, then I wouldn't do it at all.

As long as my grandchild was being raised to be a good, kind, moral person it wouldn't matter to me if they attended church regularly or not.

Attending church services is not a competition. There are no winners or losers. Attending or not attending doesn't make someone any more or less Christian. It is their actions in their day to day lives that count.

Some rando baptizing your baby in the hospital is not going to be recognized by the Catholic church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at the bright side. Your grandkids’ potential exposure to pedophiles is drastically reduced if they stay away from churches.

This is exactly how we feel and a huge part of why we don't participate in organized religion. DH and I both experienced creepy church leaders (catholic and LDS) and our parents are apologists. My parents try to influence our kids with their religion but they are generally respectful with how they do it, and knowing what they believe, it's hard for me to hold it against them as they are just sharing with them concepts that I generally don't oppose. I would be irate if they tried to push them toward baptism or regular church attendance.

[Anonymous]

Some rando baptizing a dying child absolutely is recognized by the Catholic church.

https://www.catholic.com/qa/why-can-anyone-administer-baptism

[Anonymous]

My MIL has claimed to have baptized our kids, "Just in Case." I mean, if the bathtub in our house has magic holy water, then cool. It's not my thing, but okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't do this.

I'm a parent who is raising my kids without religion and whose kids are not baptized. If my very Catholic in-laws did any of this, it would be the last time they saw their grandkids. Both DH and I would cut them off without hesitation. If my teenage or adult children want to talk about religion with you, that would be fine. While they are small, however, it's my decision. If you stepped over this line as a grandparent, you would be out.

Please, so dramatic. I became an atheist as an adult and would not fly off the handle if my parents/in-laws secretly baptized my kids. It literally means nothing to me. I do think it is weird and intrusive, but, I would not "cut them off".

DH hates organized religion. He took a lot of abuse in the name of organized religion. He is vehemently opposed to the kids having any contact with organized religion. It's been made clear to his parents and mine. It's an absolute deal breaker if they want to have a relationship with their grandkids.

I would prefer that my kids aren't around church people. I don't like their politics and I don't like their tendency to protect pedophiles.

[Anonymous]

I was raised Catholic and my two siblings and I all stopped going to church when we went to college. I came back to church but mainline Protestant when a friend invited me to her very liberal church and for 20 yrs have attended a liberal Methodist church where I sing in the choir and participate in service groups. My sister tried a couple different Protestant churches, mainly Methodist and Lutheran, but never found a community she really connected with and so no longer attends. My brother 100% rejected religion and my SIL was raised without religion. My mother was eventually disillusioned with the Catholic church too and stopped attending.

We are living happy, productive lives regardless of our levels of church involvement. I have two teens and one absolutely doesn't want to go to church. The other did find connection there and I think he is likely to come back to it eventually (not attending now that he's in college). There are many paths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you do not baptize a kid without parental consent! That's an excellent way to lose access to your grandkids, among other things.

You should ask yourself why your adult children left the church. You should consider their values -- are they so different from yours, really? Are they good people, teaching their kids to be honest, kind, compassionate, etc.? Do you trust that you did a good job raising them?

NP. if you're an atheist and baptism means nothing to you, why do you care?

I would care because it fundamentally disrespects my rights to make decisions as a parent and steps over a boundary. What other boundary violations are going to happen in the future?

100%

[Anonymous]

Christianity has not made a good case for itself as a positive thing in people's lives; it is synonymous in a lot of peoples' minds with the Evangelical movement in bed with right wing politics. The focus on conservative social issues has really soured Millennials and younger on organized religion as a whole. If I want my child to be a good person who loves and respects others, I definitely don't want to bring them to church, where they're likely to absorb negative doctrine about LGBTQ rights, the role of women in public life, the souls of non-Christians, etc. Churches would do better to focus on social action work - food scarcity and homelessness initiatives (soup kitchens, hypothermia shelters, Habitat for Humanity), interfaith dialogue, etc.

The fact that you're more worried about baptizing your grandchildren than the reasons why your kids don't engage with religion anymore is part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

LOL Baptism by pedos no thanks.

Last week alone in the US. Everysingle day more than one Christian pastor, minister, or priest abused a kid. Every single day. Actual fact. Not hard to find pick up any newspaper in the US.

Now Drag Queens want to baptize my kids by reading to them yeah I'm in.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP overstepping much?

What else do you think you failed at?

Your kids ran from your crap religion, maybe you should give some thought to as why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't have grandkids yet and we weren't strict churchgoers over the years but having been raised a Catholic, I still feel very strongly about baptism so I would suggest to my child that they consider baptism by a Christian minister. Heck I think you can actually get them to do it at the hospital in a few minutes and it doesn't need to be whole ceremony. But if they refused, then I wouldn't try and get it done myself or badger them about it. Because in the end, logically I can understand that God would not deny a baby heaven bc they were not baptized. and yes I realize this contradicts and I am still entitle to my own belief

For bible stories, maybe it might be ok to read the Christmas and Easter story and just say that there are some people who practice the Christian religion and celebrate the holiday in a different way and this is the story about it. Nothing wrong with letting kids know how others celebrate various holidays. I wouldn't suggest it is a better or right way or that their family needed to start doing it. But before reading any such stories, I would check with my child to make sure they were ok with this approach and if not, then I wouldn't do it at all.

As long as my grandchild was being raised to be a good, kind, moral person it wouldn't matter to me if they attended church regularly or not.

Attending church services is not a competition. There are no winners or losers. Attending or not attending doesn't make someone any more or less Christian. It is their actions in their day to day lives that count.

Some rando baptizing your baby in the hospital is not going to be recognized by the Catholic church.

As long as the baby is registered at the Pearly Gates, that's what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you do not baptize a kid without parental consent! That's an excellent way to lose access to your grandkids, among other things.

You should ask yourself why your adult children left the church. You should consider their values -- are they so different from yours, really? Are they good people, teaching their kids to be honest, kind, compassionate, etc.? Do you trust that you did a good job raising them?

NP. if you're an atheist and baptism means nothing to you, why do you care?

I would care because it fundamentally disrespects my rights to make decisions as a parent and steps over a boundary. What other boundary violations are going to happen in the future?

100%

I guess you want your kid to burn in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you do not baptize a kid without parental consent! That's an excellent way to lose access to your grandkids, among other things.

You should ask yourself why your adult children left the church. You should consider their values -- are they so different from yours, really? Are they good people, teaching their kids to be honest, kind, compassionate, etc.? Do you trust that you did a good job raising them?

NP. if you're an atheist and baptism means nothing to you, why do you care?

I would care because it fundamentally disrespects my rights to make decisions as a parent and steps over a boundary. What other boundary violations are going to happen in the future?

100%

I guess you want your kid to burn in hell.

I think the point is that they don't believe in hell.