Church Raised Adult Children who Reject their Religion and are Raising Kids Without Church

[Anonymous]

My SIL invited my kids to visit her one summer alone for an extended period. She's a school teacher, so she's off all summer and has a pool.

They asked us to come get them after a week. She bought them all bibles and they went to church five days a week. We picked them up, donated the bibles and my husband told her to parent her own children. Never again.

We still speak, and see each other at MIL's house, but with a clear understanding that preaching to our kids or talking to them about religion is off the table.

[Anonymous]

Look at the bright side. Your grandkids’ potential exposure to pedophiles is drastically reduced if they stay away from churches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Op- how many grandchildren do you have?

How old are they?

Which church do you attend?

Have you talked to your children about your concerns? What did they say?

What do you currently do with your grandchildren regarding religion?

[Anonymous]

No. It's typically because they were raised evangelical / fundie or strict Catholic. The grandkids will eventually find a church if they so choose and get baptized later in life.

[Anonymous]

op, does your adult child know you are thinking of baptizing your grandchild against their wishes? What religious leader- priest/pastor, have you spoken about this issue with? Have you told the priest or pastor you want to baptize a minor child against the wishes of the parents, and have they agreed to perform said baptism? What church allows that to happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at the bright side. Your grandkids’ potential exposure to pedophiles is drastically reduced if they stay away from churches.

LOL- so true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't have grandkids yet and we weren't strict churchgoers over the years but having been raised a Catholic, I still feel very strongly about baptism so I would suggest to my child that they consider baptism by a Christian minister. Heck I think you can actually get them to do it at the hospital in a few minutes and it doesn't need to be whole ceremony. But if they refused, then I wouldn't try and get it done myself or badger them about it. Because in the end, logically I can understand that God would not deny a baby heaven bc they were not baptized. and yes I realize this contradicts and I am still entitle to my own belief

For bible stories, maybe it might be ok to read the Christmas and Easter story and just say that there are some people who practice the Christian religion and celebrate the holiday in a different way and this is the story about it. Nothing wrong with letting kids know how others celebrate various holidays. I wouldn't suggest it is a better or right way or that their family needed to start doing it. But before reading any such stories, I would check with my child to make sure they were ok with this approach and if not, then I wouldn't do it at all.

As long as my grandchild was being raised to be a good, kind, moral person it wouldn't matter to me if they attended church regularly or not.

Attending church services is not a competition. There are no winners or losers. Attending or not attending doesn't make someone any more or less Christian. It is their actions in their day to day lives that count.

[Anonymous]

Are your grandkids being raised in the most important tennents of Jesus’ teachings like kindness, tolerance, charity, etc? If yes, who cares if it’s formalized; baptism can happen when the grandkids want it for themselves. If no, work on teaching your grandkids those things without using Bible stories unless you have explicit permission from the parents to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your grandkids being raised in the most important tennents of Jesus’ teachings like kindness, tolerance, charity, etc? If yes, who cares if it’s formalized; baptism can happen when the grandkids want it for themselves. If no, work on teaching your grandkids those things without using Bible stories unless you have explicit permission from the parents to do so.

We need information about your situation op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you do not baptize a kid without parental consent! That's an excellent way to lose access to your grandkids, among other things.

You should ask yourself why your adult children left the church. You should consider their values -- are they so different from yours, really? Are they good people, teaching their kids to be honest, kind, compassionate, etc.? Do you trust that you did a good job raising them?

NP. if you're an atheist and baptism means nothing to you, why do you care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone worry that their young grandkids are not baptized and taught in the church? Do you read bible stories to them? Baptize?

Don't do this.

I'm a parent who is raising my kids without religion and whose kids are not baptized. If my very Catholic in-laws did any of this, it would be the last time they saw their grandkids. Both DH and I would cut them off without hesitation. If my teenage or adult children want to talk about religion with you, that would be fine. While they are small, however, it's my decision. If you stepped over this line as a grandparent, you would be out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, you do not baptize a kid without parental consent! That's an excellent way to lose access to your grandkids, among other things.

You should ask yourself why your adult children left the church. You should consider their values -- are they so different from yours, really? Are they good people, teaching their kids to be honest, kind, compassionate, etc.? Do you trust that you did a good job raising them?

NP. if you're an atheist and baptism means nothing to you, why do you care?

I would care because it fundamentally disrespects my rights to make decisions as a parent and steps over a boundary. What other boundary violations are going to happen in the future?

[Anonymous]

op is posing extremely serious questions claiming he or she is a grandparent considering doing these things.

Is op a grandparent? Or just pretending to be one, to start a troll thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom? Is that you?

I was wondering this too!

[Anonymous]

That's me! I have great ethics and morals. I'm kind, a contributing member of society, educated and content. You know what the church I went to encouraged? To judge others, to shun others, to try to change other people's lifestyles. No thanks. And I'm not putting my kids through that.