How does your slim dd feel about her soft belly

[Anonymous]

My DD was unhappy with her thighs (at age 10). We talked about how her thighs were muscular and that muscle is why she is a strong soccer player. So, in our case, I was able to spin her concern and talk about what that feature does rather than what it looks like to her.

Your case is a little different, but can you talk more generally about trends and how not every trend works for everyone and that you have to find the style that works for you and makes you feel good about yourself. if a clothing trend makes you hate your body, the problem is the trend, not your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her off all social media. There isn't one thing about social media that will be helpful for teens.

Getting a teen off social media is not the solution. Social media is here to stay and unavoidable. OP's DD will see it through her friends.

She's 12, not a teen. Should not be on social media at this point. PERIOD. FULL STOP.

If she is, that was the mistake and a bell that you are just not going to be able to un-ring.

Other's should take this as a lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your DD wants rock-hard abs, then she needs to start working out. Lots of core work. Encourage her to build some muscle tone.

She's 12 you nincompoop, this is horrible advice.

[Anonymous]

I don't have daughters but I'd be inclined to tell her that when she wakes up is the flattest her tummy is ever going to be that day, and that every influencer is taking photos at 7am without breathing in and it's all a farce that we need to accept and be annoyed at and move on. Point out her weight is healthy/slim, and her diet and exercise are great (making assumptions but you imply this). She, you, and 99% of real women that are not weight lifters are not going to have washboard tummies, but a good number of young and thin-ish women pretend to. Now what do you want for dinner and do you want to see that movie this weekend?

I'd also add that if I did have daughters and I let them use social media, I would be a.) bombarding my own ticktock with healthy role model accounts to influence her feed, and b.) adding positive role model accounts to her social media to enforce balance. When she turns 18 is she wants to unfollow, fine I guess. I think my son gets this just by being in the house with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD actually did have a problem with how her stomach wasn't "flat" like what she saw on TV, the internet and at school...if she could pinch anything it would stress her out. This quickly spiraled into an eating disorder and the need for intensive outpatient therapy for 4 months to overcome anorexia. I don't think that OP is crazy to worry about her child feeling this way. My DD was not obsessed with social media and prior to this incidence always seemed to have body positivity and confidence. It was a horrible year to go through watching her suffer like that. OP I am not saying that your DD will turn into this - but you are smart to encourage her to make good choices in eating and being positive about her body. Jut keep an eye on her and hoepfully it is just a phase that will pass.

Nice sock-puppet self-reply, OP

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks these threads about fat and thin dds are posted by trolls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks these threads about fat and thin dds are posted by trolls?

They all have a pedo vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks these threads about fat and thin dds are posted by trolls?

They all have a pedo vibe.

Agree 100 percent. Something about the talk of “soft belly” is really skeeving me out.

[Anonymous]

That’s exactly how my DD’s eating disorder started, nightmare!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

Drink every time OP tells us how beautiful she is.

Can I drink for thinking you're an a$$hole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have daughters but I'd be inclined to tell her that when she wakes up is the flattest her tummy is ever going to be that day, and that every influencer is taking photos at 7am without breathing in and it's all a farce that we need to accept and be annoyed at and move on. Point out her weight is healthy/slim, and her diet and exercise are great (making assumptions but you imply this). She, you, and 99% of real women that are not weight lifters are not going to have washboard tummies, but a good number of young and thin-ish women pretend to. Now what do you want for dinner and do you want to see that movie this weekend?

I'd also add that if I did have daughters and I let them use social media, I would be a.) bombarding my own ticktock with healthy role model accounts to influence her feed, and b.) adding positive role model accounts to her social media to enforce balance. When she turns 18 is she wants to unfollow, fine I guess. I think my son gets this just by being in the house with me.

I do agree with deconstructing these posts she's seeing. Learning that these photos are staged, photoshopped, manipulated, etc., and that they are specifically designed to sell you something by making you feel insecure about yourself was really powerful for me at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get her off all social media. There isn't one thing about social media that will be helpful for teens.

THIS

Social media is a nightmare for teen girls (and boys, but this thread is about girls).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

This comment goes directly against your next comment " I think my daughter is gorgeous" You are totally focused on looks and have passed this on to your daughter.

Therapy for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

You're her mom, it's not like you're unbiased here. Stop focusing on the external.

Why did you assume this

dp I think it is a pretty good assumption!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, the grumpy trolls are out in full force on this post. I would echo the other poster's comment about keeping her off of social media. There are way too many filters being used, to the point that nobody can tell what is real and what isn't anymore. I thought it was bad when I was young and we had fashion magazines, but now it's even worse because they are seeing supposedly "real" people.

My mom is a lookist and I felt conscious about my body. Obviously there was no Tik Tok or social media. It is the Mom/Dad parents who are driving this obsession.