How does your slim dd feel about her soft belly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd12 is slim with long legs, dare I say absolutely stunning. Somehow she’s gotten it into her head that to wear the crop tops that are so in fashion, that she needs to have a perfectly flat tummy. I have always told her that it’s just how girls bodies are (the vast minority have no fat on their stomachs) and that crunches are awesome but will not target fat loss on the stomach. She’s getting a little obsessed and I’m worried. As I said, she’s genuinely gorgeous, so I’m sure this is a manifestation of some insecurity that she’s pinning on one of the only imperfections she has. I am supportive of her exercising but I can’t get on board with her measuring her waist and constantly asking me if it’s “better”. How have the rest of you handled this?

It’s the TikTok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

You're her mom, it's not like you're unbiased here. Stop focusing on the external.

Why did you assume this

[Anonymous]

Can anyone chime in who’s actually dealt with a situation with a child who is irrationally fixated on a minor imperfection. That’s all I’m asking about and I know most of you harpies won’t believe me but I’m really, really not concerned about looks. I’m concerned about my child’s mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

You're her mom, it's not like you're unbiased here. Stop focusing on the external.

Why did you assume this

Good lord, I hope OP isn’t her dad.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, the grumpy trolls are out in full force on this post. I would echo the other poster's comment about keeping her off of social media. There are way too many filters being used, to the point that nobody can tell what is real and what isn't anymore. I thought it was bad when I was young and we had fashion magazines, but now it's even worse because they are seeing supposedly "real" people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This would be really funny if you knew me. I’m extremely unconcerned about looks. I’m in love with my daughter and think she’s gorgeous.

You're her mom, it's not like you're unbiased here. Stop focusing on the external.

Why did you assume this

Because the idea that a dad would be this obsessed and gaga for his daughter's looks is beyond disgusting. So let's just hope it's mom talking.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a daughter but I'm a woman and this works for me -- make sure her "visual diet" includes plenty of diverse images of women of all sizes. If she ONLY sees images of absolutely tiny women in the clothes she wants to wear, she's not going to think it's okay for her to wear them. She needs more varied "nutrition" for her imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd12 is slim with long legs, dare I say absolutely stunning. Somehow she’s gotten it into her head that to wear the crop tops that are so in fashion, that she needs to have a perfectly flat tummy. I have always told her that it’s just how girls bodies are (the vast minority have no fat on their stomachs) and that crunches are awesome but will not target fat loss on the stomach. She’s getting a little obsessed and I’m worried. As I said, she’s genuinely gorgeous, so I’m sure this is a manifestation of some insecurity that she’s pinning on one of the only imperfections she has. I am supportive of her exercising but I can’t get on board with her measuring her waist and constantly asking me if it’s “better”. How have the rest of you handled this?

You’re not exactly an impartial party. And you’re effing your daughter up with this attitude.

[Anonymous]

1. Tell her external looks don’t matter and they’re nothing wrong with fat

2. Tell her she doesn’t have to wear crop tops if she doesn’t want to

3. Tell her that while (1) is true, you think she’s lovely inside and out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd12 is slim with long legs, dare I say absolutely stunning. Somehow she’s gotten it into her head that to wear the crop tops that are so in fashion, that she needs to have a perfectly flat tummy. I have always told her that it’s just how girls bodies are (the vast minority have no fat on their stomachs) and that crunches are awesome but will not target fat loss on the stomach. She’s getting a little obsessed and I’m worried. As I said, she’s genuinely gorgeous, so I’m sure this is a manifestation of some insecurity that she’s pinning on one of the only imperfections she has. I am supportive of her exercising but I can’t get on board with her measuring her waist and constantly asking me if it’s “better”. How have the rest of you handled this?

You’re not exactly an impartial party. And you’re effing your daughter up with this attitude.

+100 We’re trying to help you, OP, but you don’t want to hear it. Your daughter has been picking up in this stuff for 12 years now. Yes, society is effed up in its expectations of physical perfection for women. But mom (and dad) can do better at home in what they choose to say out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone chime in who’s actually dealt with a situation with a child who is irrationally fixated on a minor imperfection. That’s all I’m asking about and I know most of you harpies won’t believe me but I’m really, really not concerned about looks. I’m concerned about my child’s mental health.

Treat it like NBD. My DD hates her nose. I told her it's perfectly balanced with her chin/lips, etc., but she still fixates on it. I've also said that if she doesn't like it, then she can get it changed when she is older. That was enough to placate her. My guess is that she will grow out of it. Your DD can wear more high waisted pants, longer crops (or none at all) if she feels insecure. Or can play up the parts that she likes. Every person has to do this. I'm pear-shaped and can't wear shift dresses or pencil skirts. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Just curious, did your DD ask for that butt toning BumBum cream for Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone chime in who’s actually dealt with a situation with a child who is irrationally fixated on a minor imperfection. That’s all I’m asking about and I know most of you harpies won’t believe me but I’m really, really not concerned about looks. I’m concerned about my child’s mental health.

No crop tops and no social media. Ensure that you only speak positively about your own body in front of her. Do not judge other women’s bodies in front of her. Discuss character, perseverance, intelligence as admirable qualities for women, not their beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. It’s obvious you’ve already fixated way too much on her looks. Good luck with that.

This is on you op

You gave your kid a disorder.

Call your pediatrician and get help now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, the grumpy trolls are out in full force on this post. I would echo the other poster's comment about keeping her off of social media. There are way too many filters being used, to the point that nobody can tell what is real and what isn't anymore. I thought it was bad when I was young and we had fashion magazines, but now it's even worse because they are seeing supposedly "real" people.

I’m with the grumpy posters on this one. If I were OP, I would spend some time really thinking about whether might be contributing to her DD’s self-image issues.