Birthday party etiquette and siblings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how this covert going with a sibling but not announcing yourself even works. Every party I've taken my kids to, I go to the party room, say hello to the parents, my kid drops off a gift, and from there I let them know if I'm dropping off or staying. If I had another child with me they would be right there. There's no way to do this without the host seeing you. Are you pretending you are leaving and then just staying with the sibling lurking out of sight?

I don't think we are suggesting that OP has to be "covert". There just isn't a need to communicate about this ahead of time because she won't be having the sibling participate in the party.

But do you see where the host might feel obligated to invite them to stay because otherwise it would be rude? It's putting the host on the spot in the moment with no warning. I'd prefer a heads up, "Spud would love to come! But I will be there with Kid 2 and we'll just play in the toddler zone out of the way".That way the host can say either "no problem" or "please join us there's plenty of room:. As a host, that's what I'd prefer.

If OP pays for kid and doesn’t mention to host, the host shouldn’t be put on the spot. OP should not be at party room with the toddler.

I can’t imagine not offering cake and pizza. I’m having a party at one of these places and they seem annoyingly strict about bringing food and drink. Each party guest gets a juice box. I’m not even sure if I can give parents drinks. Very annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are ridiculous. Are you really telling someone she shouldn’t bring her 2.5 year old to a PUBLIC PLACE?

OP - if your six year does not require you to be in their sight at all times, take and pay for your toddler, and do not give this a second thought. Do not take your younger child into the party room.

Because what will happen is the host will see mom and 2.5 year old and not want to be rude and will reluctantly invite them to join in. Or maybe enthusiastically, it all depends. Are you saying you would ignore a birthday party guests mom and sibling if you knew full well they were there? The invited kid will probably be interacting with his mom at some point and a host overseeing the kids will likely notice. It sets up a potentially awkward situation. Even in a public place.

Join in what? Pizza and cake? OP can just say “no thank you”. And no, I would not ignore OP, but I also do not order pizza and cake to the slice.

I think the venue matters - hand wringing over a venue that will have hundreds of kids running throughout is ridiculous. If this were a small private party at a bakery to decorate cakes or something my answer would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are ridiculous. Are you really telling someone she shouldn’t bring her 2.5 year old to a PUBLIC PLACE?

OP - if your six year does not require you to be in their sight at all times, take and pay for your toddler, and do not give this a second thought. Do not take your younger child into the party room.

Because what will happen is the host will see mom and 2.5 year old and not want to be rude and will reluctantly invite them to join in. Or maybe enthusiastically, it all depends. Are you saying you would ignore a birthday party guests mom and sibling if you knew full well they were there? The invited kid will probably be interacting with his mom at some point and a host overseeing the kids will likely notice. It sets up a potentially awkward situation. Even in a public place.

Join in what? Pizza and cake? OP can just say “no thank you”. And no, I would not ignore OP, but I also do not order pizza and cake to the slice.

I think the venue matters - hand wringing over a venue that will have hundreds of kids running throughout is ridiculous. If this were a small private party at a bakery to decorate cakes or something my answer would be different.

Well, just like the party favor hater can say "no thank you" neither she nor her kids do. We all know that someone would jump at the offer if it were made. And it's not just one family but multiple families might do this. Which is why people can't make it a free for all "siblings welcome!"

[Anonymous]

My first grader had her birthday party in a location with a maximum capacity of 15 (and I could pay extra to have 5 more kids… $20-25 per kid). My DD’s class has 18 kids plus my 3 kids. 3 classmates did not come and 2 brought siblings. They were planning to drop off their kids and hang out with the siblings. One sibling ended up staying (I insisted) and the other I did not realize was even there until pick up.
People still bring siblings… I only bring mine when the hosts allows them (which happens occasionally).

[Anonymous]

This really depends. In general I don’t think you should bring a sibling unless expressly invited, but in this specific instance it kind of depends what kind of 2.5 year old and 6 year old you have. My 2.5 year old would want to stay with me. My niece at 2.5 would have wanted to stay with her sister. Is your 6 y/o going to want to have you nearby or is he more independent?

Separately, Scramble is filthy so I’d use this as reason to— sadly!— need to decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd never invite your kid to anything again. If siblings aren't welcome, then they AREN'T WELCOME. You think your 2 yr old won't want to follow his big brother around? He will.

Overreact much?? The invite didn't say that they weren't welcome. And the party host doesn't own the place (unless they are closed to the public in which case). I would ask about drop-off as well vs. staying with the younger one but if not, I don't see an issue with what you are doing as long as the little one isn't interfering with the party. Just make sure to keep them apart.

Yeah, we know people think like you. It’s still rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7 yo and a 7 month old and at play places I have always brought the baby. I always wear him, clearly he doesn’t eat anything, and doesn’t impact the party. At those busy play places I don’t always trust a classmates parent to watch 20+ kids especially when i don’t really know them and they don’t know my kid.

A baby is far different than a mobile toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:damn people are mean

No, people are entitled. If the invite doesn’t include your other children, they are not invited. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am apparently the outlier here but I would rather you come and stay at the venue with your toddler than for you not to come at all. The party is for my child--he is going to want as many of his friends to be there as possible. Who cares if a toddler is with their parents in another area of the venue? OP is aware that she needs to keep the toddler entertained and she plans to. I would even *gasp* give your toddler a piece of cake.

Why are trying so hard to make life more difficult for one another? Give the poor mom a break--she's just trying to celebrate your kid and is asking for nothing in return.

The invitation specifically said no siblings. That is the difference.

Reading comprehension - no it did not say no siblings. It didn't say anything about siblings (specifically that they were welcome). But at a public place a party host cannot dictate who else is present in the vicinity.

Unless the invitation says, "siblings welcome," DON'T BRING SIBLINGS.

This. But the entitled people twist it to mean “but…but nobody explicitly told me I couldn’t!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to point out on wanting that no one ever considers an option - if you don’t want to drop off your kid, but also have no means of not bringing the sibling, you can decline the invitation. It’s not a summons.

And it isnt an invitation if you arent considerate of other situations. I have an only. Siblings arent even on my personal radar but I am 1 of 3. I would hate for a kid to left out because of logistics and I think drop-off expectations are completely inappropriate. A parent should be staying no matter what. You are effectively cancelling out any children who have parents who have siblings and have one parent, a parent that does shift work, a parent that works nights, etc.

Just stop inviting people if you dont care if they can make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the focus on goody bags fascinating. My kid gets to play with it in the car and then it goes in the trash as soon as we get home. No one wants the candy and plastic junk.

The kids want the candy and junk, but especially the candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are ridiculous. Are you really telling someone she shouldn’t bring her 2.5 year old to a PUBLIC PLACE?

OP - if your six year does not require you to be in their sight at all times, take and pay for your toddler, and do not give this a second thought. Do not take your younger child into the party room.

Because what will happen is the host will see mom and 2.5 year old and not want to be rude and will reluctantly invite them to join in. Or maybe enthusiastically, it all depends. Are you saying you would ignore a birthday party guests mom and sibling if you knew full well they were there? The invited kid will probably be interacting with his mom at some point and a host overseeing the kids will likely notice. It sets up a potentially awkward situation. Even in a public place.

Join in what? Pizza and cake? OP can just say “no thank you”. And no, I would not ignore OP, but I also do not order pizza and cake to the slice.

I think the venue matters - hand wringing over a venue that will have hundreds of kids running throughout is ridiculous. If this were a small private party at a bakery to decorate cakes or something my answer would be different.

Well, just like the party favor hater can say "no thank you" neither she nor her kids do. We all know that someone would jump at the offer if it were made. And it's not just one family but multiple families might do this. Which is why people can't make it a free for all "siblings welcome!"

Again, it’s a place with 100s of kids running around. Who cares if people pay for and entertain their own kids in a public place? You all are ridiculous and controlling telling people not to being their other kids somewhere like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are ridiculous. Are you really telling someone she shouldn’t bring her 2.5 year old to a PUBLIC PLACE?

OP - if your six year does not require you to be in their sight at all times, take and pay for your toddler, and do not give this a second thought. Do not take your younger child into the party room.

Because what will happen is the host will see mom and 2.5 year old and not want to be rude and will reluctantly invite them to join in. Or maybe enthusiastically, it all depends. Are you saying you would ignore a birthday party guests mom and sibling if you knew full well they were there? The invited kid will probably be interacting with his mom at some point and a host overseeing the kids will likely notice. It sets up a potentially awkward situation. Even in a public place.

Join in what? Pizza and cake? OP can just say “no thank you”. And no, I would not ignore OP, but I also do not order pizza and cake to the slice.

I think the venue matters - hand wringing over a venue that will have hundreds of kids running throughout is ridiculous. If this were a small private party at a bakery to decorate cakes or something my answer would be different.

Well, just like the party favor hater can say "no thank you" neither she nor her kids do. We all know that someone would jump at the offer if it were made. And it's not just one family but multiple families might do this. Which is why people can't make it a free for all "siblings welcome!"

Again, it’s a place with 100s of kids running around. Who cares if people pay for and entertain their own kids in a public place? You all are ridiculous and controlling telling people not to being their other kids somewhere like this.

It’s clear you have little experience with kid parties and how this actually plays out.

[Anonymous]

It's probably a drop off, but either way, absolutely do not bring your 2 year old regardless of whether or not you pay for them. They aren't invited. I'd be irritated if someone just did that without asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids. For my 2 older kids, we had small parties and not one person brought a sibling. Some dropped off. Many stayed.

I’m having an all class party for my kindergarten child at a public place. I would rather you not come than bring a sibling. I have a space problem as is. Unless you are a close friend, I don’t want your toddler.

If you’re in a public place, what are you going to do with all the randos who also happen to be in your public space that day? I don’t understand what sort of space issue you are concerned about in a public venue (unless you paid to rent the whole place in which case it’s no longer open to the public). Presumably you are paying for X number of kids and have a party room for pizza/cake for X number of kids. If Y kids show up and don’t eat your food or otherwise require you to pay for them or count toward your package total, then you don’t need to worry about those Y number of kids whether they are a sibling or not.

I’ve never brought an uninvited sibling to a party before (aside from a non mobile infant in carrier back in the day). But I don’t see why anyone would care if a sibling happens to be in the same venue, but kept separate from the party. Please explain why you give a crap if a toddler runs around a public play place that happens to be related to one of your party guests?

I swear some of you just make up stuff to get upset about.