Birthday party etiquette and siblings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

First off, I replied about DROP-OFF PARTIES. Drop-off parties at event spaces like Scramble are negligent. The worst are trampoline parks. What are you going to do as the parent when some 6-year-old breaks his leg? Do you even know all the kids you invited? Would they recognize you or do they how to find you? When the employee comes up to you and they are calling the ambulance to come get that kid do you have contact info for their parent? You exchanged numbers and have their name?

Those event spaces expect an adult to be responsible for each kid.

Drop off at a house is different due to decreased risky behaviors. A magician is less likely to break a kids leg vs a trampoline park. But you should still discuss with the parent dropping off and get their contact info.

The waiver has the contact information. The parent would have filled out a waiver before a kid was allowed to participate.

Sure Jan. Im sure it all works out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

First off, I replied about DROP-OFF PARTIES. Drop-off parties at event spaces like Scramble are negligent. The worst are trampoline parks. What are you going to do as the parent when some 6-year-old breaks his leg? Do you even know all the kids you invited? Would they recognize you or do they how to find you? When the employee comes up to you and they are calling the ambulance to come get that kid do you have contact info for their parent? You exchanged numbers and have their name?

Those event spaces expect an adult to be responsible for each kid.

Drop off at a house is different due to decreased risky behaviors. A magician is less likely to break a kids leg vs a trampoline park. But you should still discuss with the parent dropping off and get their contact info.

The waiver has the contact information. The parent would have filled out a waiver before a kid was allowed to participate.

Sure Jan. Im sure it all works out!

Look Susan, your kid can just miss out if it's too hard. No worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Yes its drop off! Frankly, this is the first drop off party we have ever been to....host family says parents are welcome to drop off or stay. I am not totally comfortable with dropping off (yet) and we are still getting to know the families in the class but I am sure i can find someone to keep an eye on him.

Then just drop off and go some place close by and then come back towards the time they are doing cake and pizza. They will always have some to offer - believe me I have never attended a kids party that didn't have tons of leftovers and parents begging for you to take some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Yes its drop off! Frankly, this is the first drop off party we have ever been to....host family says parents are welcome to drop off or stay. I am not totally comfortable with dropping off (yet) and we are still getting to know the families in the class but I am sure i can find someone to keep an eye on him.

Then just drop off and go some place close by and then come back towards the time they are doing cake and pizza. They will always have some to offer - believe me I have never attended a kids party that didn't have tons of leftovers and parents begging for you to take some.

Why? Why do this when her other child can play as well? Why make it as inconvenient as possible for people to attend the party?

As someone else stated, the “party” is maybe 30 minutes in the room with pizza and cake.

OP, I agree with those who say in real life no one cares.

[Anonymous]

Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

I would never pay a babysitter to watch my other kids for a birthday party (especially one at a public venue). That seems insane to me and I can’t believe people do this in real life unless they have a live-in au pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

I would never pay a babysitter to watch my other kids for a birthday party (especially one at a public venue). That seems insane to me and I can’t believe people do this in real life unless they have a live-in au pair.

I have paid a sitter once to watch my older child while I took my younger child to a party.

If it is a good friend, we probably know them well enough to either drop off or they would have invited both kids.

If it is a random kid in class my child is not even friends with, we just decline. I think twice I declined and wrote because I have both kids. One time the host told me to bring both kids. Another time the parent said nothing and just accepted our decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

You're paying to have him jump at the play place, so what's the difference? Either way you're paying to keep him occupied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

You're paying to have him jump at the play place, so what's the difference? Either way you're paying to keep him occupied.

About 60-100? Not OP. My babysitter has a 4 hour minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here! Wow, I didn't realize how much of a hot issue this was. Our schedule changed and now we don't need to bring DS2. But now I know that future party hosts may feel strongly about sibling attendance. I also did not realize drop off parties start so early. 6 feels so young!

I also saw a lot of "find somebody to watch DS2" ...are there really people that pay a babysitter to watch siblings for 2-3 hours? I can't imagine paying someone to do that but maybe will have to in the future.

Thanks to everyone for your opinions.

You're paying to have him jump at the play place, so what's the difference? Either way you're paying to keep him occupied.

About 60-100? Not OP. My babysitter has a 4 hour minimum.

Then find a different one. I would also suggest finding one so you can actually get to know the other parents without being distracted by a toddler. So that next time you can ask one of the parents (not a host) to keep a special eye on your kid. And then you can return the favor some time. Getting to know the other parents is valuable. Chasing a toddler around hiding from every one is not.

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a pool party this summer. I purposely kept the invite list fairly small knowing that most parents would absolutely want to attend even if their children were competent swimmers. Two parent approached me and said they needed the siblings to attend as well. I think one of them offered to pay for the sibling but I just told them everybody is welcome.

I think it's just very miserly to not include siblings.

I probably make a lot less money than compared to a lot of the people who post on this forum but I wouldn't dream of expecting my guests to pay to attend a party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter had a pool party this summer. I purposely kept the invite list fairly small knowing that most parents would absolutely want to attend even if their children were competent swimmers. Two parent approached me and said they needed the siblings to attend as well. I think one of them offered to pay for the sibling but I just told them everybody is welcome.

I think it's just very miserly to not include siblings.

I probably make a lot less money than compared to a lot of the people who post on this forum but I wouldn't dream of expecting my guests to pay to attend a party

Then why did you keep the guest list small? Saying all are welcome but then inviting just a handful doesn't make sense. If a kid wants to invited all the boys/girls in their class but doesn't want everyone's sibling and cousin, then so what? The other people aren't guests of the birthday child. They are just freeloaders. I don't mind being miserly to people looking to take advantage of hospitality. Everyone knows how these parties work after they've attended at least one. There's a space limit. It's not a "come one, come all!" situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter had a pool party this summer. I purposely kept the invite list fairly small knowing that most parents would absolutely want to attend even if their children were competent swimmers. Two parent approached me and said they needed the siblings to attend as well. I think one of them offered to pay for the sibling but I just told them everybody is welcome.

I think it's just very miserly to not include siblings.

I probably make a lot less money than compared to a lot of the people who post on this forum but I wouldn't dream of expecting my guests to pay to attend a party

Then why did you keep the guest list small? Saying all are welcome but then inviting just a handful doesn't make sense. If a kid wants to invited all the boys/girls in their class but doesn't want everyone's sibling and cousin, then so what? The other people aren't guests of the birthday child. They are just freeloaders. I don't mind being miserly to people looking to take advantage of hospitality. Everyone knows how these parties work after they've attended at least one. There's a space limit. It's not a "come one, come all!" situation.

You missed the point. All are welcome from the families invited. Not all as in the entire class/school etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter had a pool party this summer. I purposely kept the invite list fairly small knowing that most parents would absolutely want to attend even if their children were competent swimmers. Two parent approached me and said they needed the siblings to attend as well. I think one of them offered to pay for the sibling but I just told them everybody is welcome.

I think it's just very miserly to not include siblings.

I probably make a lot less money than compared to a lot of the people who post on this forum but I wouldn't dream of expecting my guests to pay to attend a party

I am hosting an all class party at a party venue. I don’t care about the $35 extra per sibling, I literally do not have the space. I can either accommodate siblings or a classmate.

We have a seven figure income and a large house. I originally wanted to have the party at our house but DH does not want 20 kids and their families in our home. A few hundred dollars for siblings makes no difference to us. I still think it is rude to bring uninvited guests to a party. I have 3 kids and do not bring siblings unless they are specifically invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter had a pool party this summer. I purposely kept the invite list fairly small knowing that most parents would absolutely want to attend even if their children were competent swimmers. Two parent approached me and said they needed the siblings to attend as well. I think one of them offered to pay for the sibling but I just told them everybody is welcome.

I think it's just very miserly to not include siblings.

I probably make a lot less money than compared to a lot of the people who post on this forum but I wouldn't dream of expecting my guests to pay to attend a party

Then why did you keep the guest list small? Saying all are welcome but then inviting just a handful doesn't make sense. If a kid wants to invited all the boys/girls in their class but doesn't want everyone's sibling and cousin, then so what? The other people aren't guests of the birthday child. They are just freeloaders. I don't mind being miserly to people looking to take advantage of hospitality. Everyone knows how these parties work after they've attended at least one. There's a space limit. It's not a "come one, come all!" situation.

You missed the point. All are welcome from the families invited. Not all as in the entire class/school etc.

So, it's a very different kind of party and not relevant.