feeling guilty that husband left church because of me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

They may have “mass” (as in numbers or bodily weight, but they categorically do not have “Mass,” as in the Eucharistic sacrifice because their ministers lack both the capacity and the requisite intention to confect the Eucharist.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

[Anonymous]

Stop infantilizing your husband. Ask him if he even cares about this crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yes words mean things. You can say you don’t recognize the Episcopalian mass as a Catholic, but it’s simply flat out wrong to say the church doesn’t celebrate mass.

[Anonymous]

Catholics who ostensibly depart because of [fill in the blank] almost universally are using [fill in the blank] as a self justifying excuse for their unwillingness to admit, confront and repent of behaviors they know are wrong but like too much to try to change. This is exacerbated in many instances by a defective understanding of the divine nature of the Church and it’s role in helping them attain salvation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yes words mean things. You can say you don’t recognize the Episcopalian mass as a Catholic, but it’s simply flat out wrong to say the church doesn’t celebrate mass.

Ok. They do not celebrate The Mass**** and OP’s DH knows that which is the only thing that matters in this conversation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yep, and you don't get to define them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yes words mean things. You can say you don’t recognize the Episcopalian mass as a Catholic, but it’s simply flat out wrong to say the church doesn’t celebrate mass.

Ok. They do not celebrate The Mass**** and OP’s DH knows that which is the only thing that matters in this conversation!

Oh, shut up. Her DH isn't going on way or the other, and it's because of people like you. Hope you're proud of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catholics who ostensibly depart because of [fill in the blank] almost universally are using [fill in the blank] as a self justifying excuse for their unwillingness to admit, confront and repent of behaviors they know are wrong but like too much to try to change. This is exacerbated in many instances by a defective understanding of the divine nature of the Church and it’s role in helping them attain salvation.

Catholic here who posted above. This is far too simplistic. For example, someone who departs because of the priest scandals has done so because they’ve lost faith in the men who run the Church, and understandably so. Therefore, their reasons would have nothing to do with choosing sin over the Church.

I thought about it myself, and if I had chosen to leave it wouldn’t be because of my own sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yes words mean things. You can say you don’t recognize the Episcopalian mass as a Catholic, but it’s simply flat out wrong to say the church doesn’t celebrate mass.

Ok. They do not celebrate The Mass**** and OP’s DH knows that which is the only thing that matters in this conversation!

Oh, shut up. Her DH isn't going on way or the other, and it's because of people like you. Hope you're proud of that.

Like I said, reversions happen all the time. I sincerely hope he comes back into the fold with the rest of us imperfect people like me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catholics who ostensibly depart because of [fill in the blank] almost universally are using [fill in the blank] as a self justifying excuse for their unwillingness to admit, confront and repent of behaviors they know are wrong but like too much to try to change. This is exacerbated in many instances by a defective understanding of the divine nature of the Church and it’s role in helping them attain salvation.

You're nuts. And 100% wrong. DH is a much better Christian now than he was when we married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic husband hasn't been to mass since before we married, though we attend regularly elsewhere and would be considered devout/observant by most. The biggest reason is the protection of pedophiles from the church, but also because I'm not Catholic. I've been feeling increasingly guilty about this, since I know they prefer Catholics not marry Protestants because we tend to do exactly what happened - drag them away. I know he's a big boy and can make his own decisions, but let's be honest, he'd probably still be attending mass if it weren't for me. Any advice on getting over it?

Everything seems fine. So what if he goes to a different christian church for mass.

Is he bringing this up? Doesn’t sound like it.

Why are you bringing this up?

Episcopalians don’t have mass. Only Catholics and the Orthodox have the mass. It is something to be worried about since, for the husband and only the husband, this is a matter of grave mortal sin for him.

Stop telling others what they believe. Anglicans of all flavors most certainly have mass.

What on earth. I’m Episcopalian - we have mass every week.

The Catholic PP was referring to "Anglican orders null and void." No clergy = no mass. They're wrong, of course. Just arrogant.

Well, not only are the orders not valid, there’s also no real presence in the Eucharist. Ergo, not the mass. A worship service and good on that and all. But, words mean things guys!

Yes words mean things. You can say you don’t recognize the Episcopalian mass as a Catholic, but it’s simply flat out wrong to say the church doesn’t celebrate mass.

Ok. They do not celebrate The Mass**** and OP’s DH knows that which is the only thing that matters in this conversation!

Oh, shut up. Her DH isn't going on way or the other, and it's because of people like you. Hope you're proud of that.

Like I said, reversions happen all the time. I sincerely hope he comes back into the fold with the rest of us imperfect people like me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine. Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?

It's an hour out of your day. Most churches have multiple services. You wouldn't be missing anything.