Unwanted guests and pushy exDH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

Since we are going that route...no, I do not get child support because I make more than him. And no, he hasn't given him a birthday present in the past 3 years. For BM, you do bring presents. His own family knows that and they are not of "my religion".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

Since we are going that route...no, I do not get child support because I make more than him. And no, he hasn't given him a birthday present in the past 3 years. For BM, you do bring presents. His own family knows that and they are not of "my religion".

It's a wonder that you actively chose to procreate with this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

Since we are going that route...no, I do not get child support because I make more than him. And no, he hasn't given him a birthday present in the past 3 years. For BM, you do bring presents. His own family knows that and they are not of "my religion".

No, you don't bring a present to your own child's party. That is a bizarre demand. So, that's the story now. You make more so you are denying him overnights so you don't have to pay him child support... got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the venue can accommodate the extra people he needs to pay for them. I wouldn't die on the hill of not inviting them but I would not pay for it.

This is what I'd do too. Consider that the new wife will probably be uncomfortable if the only ppl she knows are the kids and your exDH, so bringing these people will make her feel better. You can suck it up for 8 hours.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the venue can accommodate the extra people he needs to pay for them. I wouldn't die on the hill of not inviting them but I would not pay for it.

This is what I'd do too. Consider that the new wife will probably be uncomfortable if the only ppl she knows are the kids and your exDH, so bringing these people will make her feel better. You can suck it up for 8 hours.

+1

Won’t she know ex-Dh’s family? She is part of the family - she doesn’t need to bring her own relatives. If it is so important to her, ex-dh could have contributed the $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for months but your ex hasn’t introduced your son to them? Then they aren’t staying with your ex. I think it’s reasonable to say it’s too late and too expensive to add people. But if he wants to pay you in advance for all the extra costs that result from them coming, then fine. And tell him the amount and that he needs to pay up front so you can pay the caterer. Maybe when he sees the dollar amount and knows he’d have to pay, it’ll be less important to him to have those people attend. And ask him not to drag your son into the middle of this.

She's dragging the kid in the middle of this. They don't know the kid as she's not allowing overnights or visitation.

Could you please point out where OP said she’s not allowing overnights or visitation?
TIA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

Since we are going that route...no, I do not get child support because I make more than him. And no, he hasn't given him a birthday present in the past 3 years. For BM, you do bring presents. His own family knows that and they are not of "my religion".

No, you don't bring a present to your own child's party. That is a bizarre demand. So, that's the story now. You make more so you are denying him overnights so you don't have to pay him child support... got it.

Sounds like you are conflating OP with another poster. Also that you have some work to do in addition to reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for months but your ex hasn’t introduced your son to them? Then they aren’t staying with your ex. I think it’s reasonable to say it’s too late and too expensive to add people. But if he wants to pay you in advance for all the extra costs that result from them coming, then fine. And tell him the amount and that he needs to pay up front so you can pay the caterer. Maybe when he sees the dollar amount and knows he’d have to pay, it’ll be less important to him to have those people attend. And ask him not to drag your son into the middle of this.

She's dragging the kid in the middle of this. They don't know the kid as she's not allowing overnights or visitation.

Could you please point out where OP said she’s not allowing overnights or visitation?
TIA!

OP here. I do allow it, it would make it so much easier for everyone. My DS does not like staying in anyone's house. He likes his bed. He doesn't even like sleepovers and not a big fan of summer camps. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had DS bar mitzvah, we had a party, most everyone had a good time. ExDH did not bring a gift, did not say a toast, barely said a word to DS, nothing. His wife kept looking at her phone. ExILs texted me later that they were embarrassed for them.

All I can say is that when it's time for DS to graduate HS, college, get married - if he refuses to invite his father, I will completely understand.

Dad does not need to bring a gift. You sound terrible. You are alienating them.

are you kidding me? You go to a kid's party and not bring a gift? Guess who the terrible one is here.

As a parent, you don't bring a gift to this kind of party. That's a bizarre demand. The kid got a birthday present. That is enough. You are looking for every way to bash him. To him, this is a 13th birthday party. It is about you and your culture/family, not his. If he got the kid a present for his birthday that is enough. If you are getting child support, you that money.

Since we are going that route...no, I do not get child support because I make more than him. And no, he hasn't given him a birthday present in the past 3 years. For BM, you do bring presents. His own family knows that and they are not of "my religion".

I'm shiksa as could be, and even I know you bring a present to a bar mitzva!

FIne way to spit on your child's religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for months but your ex hasn’t introduced your son to them? Then they aren’t staying with your ex. I think it’s reasonable to say it’s too late and too expensive to add people. But if he wants to pay you in advance for all the extra costs that result from them coming, then fine. And tell him the amount and that he needs to pay up front so you can pay the caterer. Maybe when he sees the dollar amount and knows he’d have to pay, it’ll be less important to him to have those people attend. And ask him not to drag your son into the middle of this.

She's dragging the kid in the middle of this. They don't know the kid as she's not allowing overnights or visitation.

Could you please point out where OP said she’s not allowing overnights or visitation?
TIA!

It’s in here. All kinds of excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the venue can accommodate the extra people he needs to pay for them. I wouldn't die on the hill of not inviting them but I would not pay for it.

This is what I'd do too. Consider that the new wife will probably be uncomfortable if the only ppl she knows are the kids and your exDH, so bringing these people will make her feel better. You can suck it up for 8 hours.

+1

Won’t she know ex-Dh’s family? She is part of the family - she doesn’t need to bring her own relatives. If it is so important to her, ex-dh could have contributed the $$.

This is her religion and her party not his. She should pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ve been here for months but your ex hasn’t introduced your son to them? Then they aren’t staying with your ex. I think it’s reasonable to say it’s too late and too expensive to add people. But if he wants to pay you in advance for all the extra costs that result from them coming, then fine. And tell him the amount and that he needs to pay up front so you can pay the caterer. Maybe when he sees the dollar amount and knows he’d have to pay, it’ll be less important to him to have those people attend. And ask him not to drag your son into the middle of this.

She's dragging the kid in the middle of this. They don't know the kid as she's not allowing overnights or visitation.

Could you please point out where OP said she’s not allowing overnights or visitation?
TIA!

It’s in here. All kinds of excuses.

Bless your heart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the venue can accommodate the extra people he needs to pay for them. I wouldn't die on the hill of not inviting them but I would not pay for it.

This is what I'd do too. Consider that the new wife will probably be uncomfortable if the only ppl she knows are the kids and your exDH, so bringing these people will make her feel better. You can suck it up for 8 hours.

+1

Won’t she know ex-Dh’s family? She is part of the family - she doesn’t need to bring her own relatives. If it is so important to her, ex-dh could have contributed the $$.

This is her religion and her party not his. She should pay.

She doesn’t need to pay for strangers.