Mom asks for play date and then suggests my house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry Larla, the way you phrased your question, I thought you were inviting my daughter at your house for a playdate. LOL!! That is the reason that I said "yes".

Unfortunately, I cannot host your child at my home for a playdate because I have other commitments. I will text you when it is convenient time and then perhaps both the girls can have a playdate. For the month of January, we are very busy, but I am hoping that stars will align soon for the girls to get together.

Happy New Year. "

Too many words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

+100

This is good.

no it’s not good. it escalates the situation - to what end?

it’s much better to just keep silent.

It doesn’t not “escalate” a “situation.” It clarifies. If they are asking for free babysitting, they need to come out and say it. “To what end”? To the end where you either come out and ask for a favor, directly, or you realize you can’t get away with manipulating people into free babysitting and leave them alone. Or maybe you’ll wake up, realize your gaffe, and invite them over if they have graciously hosted your kid in the past.

Agreed. I wasn’t raised with the best models for social skills. I read a lot on the topic, but still stick my foot in my mouth. Personally, I would be SO grateful for someone tactfully pointing out my mistake so I could rectify it and learn. Can’t speak to whether the other mom is awkward like me, so just a taker. We don’t have enough information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry Larla, the way you phrased your question, I thought you were inviting my daughter at your house for a playdate. LOL!! That is the reason that I said "yes".

Unfortunately, I cannot host your child at my home for a playdate because I have other commitments. I will text you when it is convenient time and then perhaps both the girls can have a playdate. For the month of January, we are very busy, but I am hoping that stars will align soon for the girls to get together.

Happy New Year. "

Too many words

Agree.

"Thought you were inviting Larla over; I can't host."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

+100

This is good.

What is wrong with you people who think this kind of a response is good? It reminds me of the worst stereotypes of suburban stay at homes who are so bored they have to create drama. OP can respond that she either can or cannot host and move on. This isn’t Real Housewives of Podunk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am well past the playdate stage but I encountered a few parents like this. Some were single moms and if they were direct about needing a few hours to get something done, I didn't mind at all. In another situation, the mom was a little pushy and things were slightly imbalanced but I was anxious to have my child at someone else's house so I was okay with this imbalance. In other situations, I was uncomfortable with the level of supervision ("I'll just send the kids to the basement while I get some work done!") so I hosted more often.

I always despised the parents who did the bait and switch. Someone used to invite my child only for me to find out later that it was the nanny watching them or taking them somewhere--not what I signed up for!

It could be a house issue--I had a small place that wasn't decorated the way I liked and for awhile didn't have people over.

OP, if you feel used, stop inviting. Or follow the PP's advice to ask for clarification. There could be a red flag at her house and you could be dodging a bullet.

If you need me to babysit for free, just ask but don't pretend it's a playdate. Just be honest.