Mom asks for play date and then suggests my house

[Anonymous]

My daughter has a friend and we have hosted a few play dates. We hosted one right before break. Mom asks if my daughter can have a play date and I say yes. I assume she is inviting my child to her house. I confirm time and date and she asks if it can be at our house. I had holiday errands to run and I say no. Mom chooses another date and asks if my daughter is available for a play date. I said yes and then she says again is our house ok. I am just not answering her.

It is rude to ask for a play date and only suggest my house, right?

I always tell my kids that they cannot invite themselves over to others’ houses.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she;s pushing the envelope. She should reciprocate,

[Anonymous]

Omg! Happened to me! That was the tip of the iceberg. Run!!

[Anonymous]

Tell her you can’t host this time. Ask her to. What’s the issue? Use your words.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Takers are so gross. Keep saying no.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's rude.

[Anonymous]

How old is your daughter? Do the girls get along? Is you daughter asking for it as well?

As the parent of teens (and a child in elementary) I would say do not get wrapped up in this stuff. Life is too short. Don't keep score - it takes too much energy.

[Anonymous]

She’s looking for babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your daughter? Do the girls get along? Is you daughter asking for it as well?

As the parent of teens (and a child in elementary) I would say do not get wrapped up in this stuff. Life is too short. Don't keep score - it takes too much energy.

My daughter does not specifically ask for play dates. We had people over today and she played with our family friends.

The mom who asks is a school friend. They are in the same school and friends.

I just don’t like the way she asks for a play date, confirms time and then makes my house the play date location. I didn’t ask her. She asked me.

[Anonymous]

Yes she is rude. I would tell her you are no longer available for the play date then ignore future play dates texts unless they start with “would your daughter like to come over to our house this weekend?

[Anonymous]

It is rude, but is it possible that she has actual reasons for not wanting to host other than being “a taker”? Maybe her home is small and she’s embarrassed or something.

In this case, I’d suggest a play date at my house when I was prepared to have one and would assume that she means them to happen at my house every time. If I don’t want to do that, maybe I’d suggest another location (e.g., meet at the Zoo or playground or breakfast or whatever) and if she suggests my house, tell her the house isn’t company-ready and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your daughter? Do the girls get along? Is you daughter asking for it as well?

As the parent of teens (and a child in elementary) I would say do not get wrapped up in this stuff. Life is too short. Don't keep score - it takes too much energy.

If the other mom needs to do holiday shopping, she cam hire a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

"Sorry Larla, the way you phrased your question, I thought you were inviting my daughter at your house for a playdate. LOL!! That is the reason that I said "yes".

Unfortunately, I cannot host your child at my home for a playdate because I have other commitments. I will text you when it is convenient time and then perhaps both the girls can have a playdate. For the month of January, we are very busy, but I am hoping that stars will align soon for the girls to get together.

Happy New Year. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is rude, but is it possible that she has actual reasons for not wanting to host other than being “a taker”? Maybe her home is small and she’s embarrassed or something.

In this case, I’d suggest a play date at my house when I was prepared to have one and would assume that she means them to happen at my house every time. If I don’t want to do that, maybe I’d suggest another location (e.g., meet at the Zoo or playground or breakfast or whatever) and if she suggests my house, tell her the house isn’t company-ready and leave it at that.

This. It is rude, but it’s really not worth your time to figure out why she’s rude or get upset about it. I’d just focus on the important part: does your daughter want a play date with this friend? If yes, invite. If no, don’t invite.

[Anonymous]

You all make it so complicated. Alternating homes is great and yes it’s stressful to host more often, but keeping a scorecard is weird. Tell her you have to be somewhere and can’t host. Ask when is a good day/tone for your daughter to come over. They could potentially have an issue at home that prevents hosting too. Maybe find an alternative location/activity.