My girlfriend only wants to spend Christmas with her family. I think this is so selfish.

[Anonymous]

Is this real? It’s just coming up now, after 3 years? Are you’re a guy who wants to spend Christmas with his family 11 hours away? Hmm.

[Anonymous]

No Ring No Bring. Who gives a crap what you want?

This is from a fathers perspective. You are nobody

[Anonymous]

I can completely understand not wanting to travel 11 hours for a holiday, which is supposed to be a relaxing time. I absolutely hate traveling for holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see why she wants to spend every Christmas with her family instead of you.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No Ring No Bring. Who gives a crap what you want?

This is from a fathers perspective. You are nobody

+1 I'm now a DIL and would have felt so awkward attending family holidays as just a gf. Now I am part of DH's family.

[Anonymous]

Are you engaged? I ask because my husband and I were married 2 years after we met. If I was your girlfriend, I might be prioritizing my dad too, 3 years is a long time to wait for a proposal. I also wouldn’t want to be told I’m selfish or be with a guy who got angry and then refused to talk to me. I understand why she’s picking her dad.


That being said, you do need to point out to her that your family doesn’t live closer so she’s offering something she can’t do. Why didn’t you say that?
To people who say if she’s not willing to do what you want, she never will be, that’s not really fair. I’m happy to wipe my kids’ butts or noses, not so happy to do it for an adult. A baby isn’t an object, you don’t haul it anywhere and not all families make it easy or enjoyable to bring a baby or kid to their house.

Think about it this way, nobody would invite their neighbors to go poop in their yard to prove to their spouse that yes, they would be great with a dog because see, loo, they’ll happily pick up their neighbors’ poop.
Some things you can’t know until you’ll get there.

As others have said, you are the only one who can decide if you want to keep the girlfriend. If you do, know that old people tend to be cranky around kids. Odds are good that once you two do have a baby, *she* won’t want to spend Christmas with Dad, too much stuff to bring, too much stuff to bring home, nobody sleeps well due to excitement, Dad’s house is too cold or too hot, Dad wants to watch stuff she’d prefer the kid not be exposed to, Dad drinks too much, lots of things can happen that make Christmas with Pops not much fun with the kids. That can happen on your side of the family too, op.

[Anonymous]

Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

NP. I believe the point is that these kind of arguments about whose family to prioritize during Christmas shouldn’t even be thing unless the relationship is more serious. They can each spend the holiday with their own families until she is his fiancée or his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

NP. I believe the point is that these kind of arguments about whose family to prioritize during Christmas shouldn’t even be thing unless the relationship is more serious. They can each spend the holiday with their own families until she is his fiancée or his wife.

But it's not your place to determine the seriousness of a relationship based on how long they have dated or if they are engaged or not.
Also not your place to determine what they should be discussing and when.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

It wouldn't. The very same posters jumping on op for not being engaged would be criticizing op for not talking things over before engagement or marriage . If he posted the same issue about a fiance or wife

The same people attacking op would be telling a female with the same question her boyfriend was selfish and she should dump him and it's a good thing she found this out before they were engaged or married.

In fact these people know that the girlfriend is in the wrong but they hate men so much they cannot admit that so instead they latch onto a perceived fault and detail the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

NP. I believe the point is that these kind of arguments about whose family to prioritize during Christmas shouldn’t even be thing unless the relationship is more serious. They can each spend the holiday with their own families until she is his fiancée or his wife.

But it's not your place to determine the seriousness of a relationship based on how long they have dated or if they are engaged or not.
Also not your place to determine what they should be discussing and when.

I guess you’re still waiting for a proposal yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

Because people make sacrifices for a marriage that they don't for a dating relationship. And there comes a time to make it clear to a man that if he isn't going to propose, he won't get a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would being engaged change his girlfriend’s mind? If that is her issue than she could have said that. You all are super passive aggressive if you’re assuming the gf can’t speak/communicate for herself

Because people make sacrifices for a marriage that they don't for a dating relationship. And there comes a time to make it clear to a man that if he isn't going to propose, he won't get a wife.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird that she insists on spending daddy's birthday with him. How old is she? She needs to cut the cord. My SIL is like this. Everything is about daddy, daddy, daddy. She's 40 and single though.

Yeah some women are so busy being daughters they have no time to ever be wives or mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird that she insists on spending daddy's birthday with him. How old is she? She needs to cut the cord. My SIL is like this. Everything is about daddy, daddy, daddy. She's 40 and single though.

OP is single too. And seems more into being “pissed” and valuing prioritizing their own needs and family over those of the GF — who has offered multiple flexible alternatives.