If you had the money, would you raise your kids in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

Delusional

When I miss DC, things like this remind me why I shouldn’t.
We like Long Island City (one subway or ferry stop from Manhattan).
I am not delusional.
It’s a nice place to live with teens/tweens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who was born there who said no way. To explain why, first of all in general I prefer the west coast, although I do love DC and parts of New England. But second of all, I just don’t like the relentless focus on money in NYC. It is an area that is hyper focused on wealth in a way I’ve found nowhere else in the world except China. I find it suffocating. Finally, I hate how dirty I feel after spending a day there. Idk of there is a fine layer of dust that covers everything or what, but in no other major cities do I so strongly feel that I have to strip down and shower immediately after coming in from the outdoors. I just feel physically gross there.

Where in the city were you born and where did you grow up? As others have pointed out, there's a real Manhattan vs the rest of the city disconnect here. I'm not sure whether op was only really asking about Manhattan but as a non Manhattan new Yorker it's really hard to convey here how unfamiliar so many of these responses sound vs my actual lived experiences raising a family here.

The Bronx.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

[Anonymous]

We at the body shop. I prefer London Tokyo Shanghai to that cesspool NYC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

I was coming on here just to write this very thing! Bwahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If it was a large million dollar brownstone with good schools at a walking distance (like the family from the Wonder book), maybe. But I like being able to jump in my car and go anywhere. If we lived in NYC it would be very difficult to leave the city on a impromptu road trip. Not to mention I want my kids to learn how to drive when they're sixteen, not thirty. Honestly I'd get tired of the constant hubbub of the city.

If I was single in Manhattan and it was only for a year or two, sure.

Hon, houses like these start at 3 million and go straight up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

I’ve lived there and couldn’t be happier to be out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

It sounds like anywhere though. I used to live in an UMC neighborhood in a rural area with a lot of doctors and engineers here on J-1 visas. The kids played in the creek. We had to do a little fanangling with school and had kind of a mix of public school and homeschool co-op.
Why deal with all of the hassle and expense of NYC to have a midwestern life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

It sounds like anywhere though. I used to live in an UMC neighborhood in a rural area with a lot of doctors and engineers here on J-1 visas. The kids played in the creek. We had to do a little fanangling with school and had kind of a mix of public school and homeschool co-op.
Why deal with all of the hassle and expense of NYC to have a midwestern life?

Exactly what I thought! My neighborhood was filled with people in the medical community mostly from all over the world. We went to public school as did 3/4’s of everyone else minus some Catholics. We had poor kids through offspring of Ivy-league educated well-off parents.

[Anonymous]

No, too crowded and dirty and I would hate the weather.

[Anonymous]

I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

It sounds like anywhere though. I used to live in an UMC neighborhood in a rural area with a lot of doctors and engineers here on J-1 visas. The kids played in the creek. We had to do a little fanangling with school and had kind of a mix of public school and homeschool co-op.
Why deal with all of the hassle and expense of NYC to have a midwestern life?

We deal with it because in NYC we have ready access to jobs, art, music, theater, excellent healthcare, etc. that is more difficult to find in rural areas of the Midwest. Additionally, having some well-off neighbors on a J-1 visa is not the true diversity of having kids from all over the world and with variable incomes and of different religions in your kids’ school. It’s also fun to get up on a Saturday morning and wonder if you should all go walk around Central Park, or go whale watching by the Statue of Liberty, get dim sum, walk over the Brooklyn bridge and get pizza, or see if you can get cheap tickets to a broadway show. These things are more important to some people than others, which is not to say that there is a better way, but that is why we deal.

Having a baby/toddler is, I think, hard in NYC, and this is when everyone leaves. But if you stick it out, teens/tweens in NYC have so much more independence - and I don’t have to schlepp my kids around every time they have a playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people seem to get their ideas of nyc from movies and TV.

We live in NYC, but in a quiet corner with a lot of international neighbors and several nearby parks. Middle or upper middle class. Kids are in public school, which they love and is much more rigorous than their DC area school. The kids actually seem more innocent than in DC - our 5th grader still pretend plays with her friends in the garden area of our apartment building. They have a whole gnome village hidden in the plants. They spend hours there, and the doormen keep their secret.

The adults in NYC are not obsessed with status or what colleges they went to, unlike when we were in DC. I know what college every single person I know in DC went to, but I have no idea where our friends in nyc went to college (although a lot are international so it would be meaningless to me anyway). People do talk incessantly about real estate though. That gets old.

Also, people here keep saying at NYC is dysfunctional. When comparing NYC to DC, this is not our experience at all. DC was pretty dysfunctional, too, and not as safe as our neighborhood in NYC.

This has to be the biggest joke ever.

Nope. I live in NYC and it truly can be like this. If you’ve never lived here, you just don’t know. Visiting Times Square several times doesn’t make you familiar with NYC.

It sounds like anywhere though. I used to live in an UMC neighborhood in a rural area with a lot of doctors and engineers here on J-1 visas. The kids played in the creek. We had to do a little fanangling with school and had kind of a mix of public school and homeschool co-op.
Why deal with all of the hassle and expense of NYC to have a midwestern life?

We deal with it because in NYC we have ready access to jobs, art, music, theater, excellent healthcare, etc. that is more difficult to find in rural areas of the Midwest. Additionally, having some well-off neighbors on a J-1 visa is not the true diversity of having kids from all over the world and with variable incomes and of different religions in your kids’ school. It’s also fun to get up on a Saturday morning and wonder if you should all go walk around Central Park, or go whale watching by the Statue of Liberty, get dim sum, walk over the Brooklyn bridge and get pizza, or see if you can get cheap tickets to a broadway show. These things are more important to some people than others, which is not to say that there is a better way, but that is why we deal.

Having a baby/toddler is, I think, hard in NYC, and this is when everyone leaves. But if you stick it out, teens/tweens in NYC have so much more independence - and I don’t have to schlepp my kids around every time they have a playdate.

Sounds pretty boring to me