Dad decided to stop paying child support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

NP and I think OP's point is that their child is owed this money by their other parent, not that OP wants the money just for the sake of her getting the money. But hey, bully for you for cheating your own kid by cutting out their father and his responsibilities just to prove you're not like the other girls.

The dad can help the child directly. Dad does not need to pay mom who can choose to dole it out or keep it and claim she is the only one supporting the adult. After 18, you don’t owe your kids anything and if dad has no relationship why should he pay to support and adult.

It sounds to me like OP is trying to get 'child support' to help her pay for college, which is understandable, especially if he can afford it and she can't. Good luck OP.

Dad can pay the school directly if he wishes to contribute.

Once again, it’s not about “if he wishes” and you don’t make the rules.

Lots of wishful thinking by stepmoms and dads on this thread.

A lot of denial by deadbeats hoping to get out of three years of payment.

He is not a deadbeat. Child is an adult.

Not paying owed child support is a deadbeat, and they are in a jurisdiction where he owes child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

Your interpretations are off. Please reread the OP. She is in a state where child support continues until age 21. He has not "done his duty".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult an attorney and absolutely file. If you have fewer expenses now that your son is out of the house you can save it— something tells me a dad who doesn’t want to help pay for college isn’t going to be excited to help with a first home or a grad program either.

Also did he pay according yo the calculator? It may be the case that he owes more than three years. Ask an attorney.

If the Dad was paying child support, the child support IS his contribution to college.

FTFY and the child support must continue to be paid until age 21. The child will presumably be in college during this time and the support goes to that and other associated living expenses.

[Anonymous]

How wealthy is the father?
I ask because at 20 I paid for my college with a loan and bought my own Books.
I still had to babysit younger sinling for free, but at least I had a job that paid for some other expenses like Bush fare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consult an attorney and absolutely file. If you have fewer expenses now that your son is out of the house you can save it— something tells me a dad who doesn’t want to help pay for college isn’t going to be excited to help with a first home or a grad program either.

Also did he pay according yo the calculator? It may be the case that he owes more than three years. Ask an attorney.

If the Dad was paying child support, the child support IS his contribution to college.

FTFY and the child support must continue to be paid until age 21. The child will presumably be in college during this time and the support goes to that and other associated living expenses.

Actually, no. Its not court orders so he doesn't have to pay anything. OP can file with the court for free via the child support office and see if she can get an order. How much are college expenses? How much has Dad agreed to pay? How much is mom paying out of pocket?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

Your interpretations are off. Please reread the OP. She is in a state where child support continues until age 21. He has not "done his duty".

There is no court order so no, he has no obligation to continue to pay because mom demands it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

Your interpretations are off. Please reread the OP. She is in a state where child support continues until age 21. He has not "done his duty".

There is no court order so no, he has no obligation to continue to pay because mom demands it.

He does have an obligation, it has not yet been legally enforced. That is what the OP will have to do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

Your interpretations are off. Please reread the OP. She is in a state where child support continues until age 21. He has not "done his duty".

There is no court order so no, he has no obligation to continue to pay because mom demands it.

He does have an obligation, it has not yet been legally enforced. That is what the OP will have to do now.

No he does not. Child is an adult. Mom needs to file in court and see what happens. Kid needs to work it out with dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how old child is — closer the 18 or closer to 21? You will spend a lot of money on lawyers and wait for a court date to try to collect probably won’t be as much as you think it is.

Requiring child support until 21 is stupid anyway. Your kid is grown.

State will do it for you. No need for lawyers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t dream of going back to some man for support of a 20 year old. Get another job or something you’ve had two decades to figure out how to support your child.

-single mom

That man is the child's father--fathers need to support their children just as much as moms.

Correct, but this child is no longer a child and child can talk to dad if they need money. Mom does not need to control the money. He did his duty of child support. She can file if she thinks she is owed more.

It depends on the laws of the state who should file. Likely mom tho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Never married so no formal custody or child support order. By mutual consent child always lived with mom full time w/ regular visitation w/ dad and child support paid by dad. Dad has informed me that he will no longer pay child support. We live in a state that requires child support until 21. DC is over 18 but under 21 and in college full time (for which Dad contributes nothing) and lives with me summers and breaks. I've looked at the child support calculator, and the amount owed and not paid would be significant.

Do I need an attorney to file for me? How much would using an attorney cost?

Can I self-file? Would that be dumb - would I be losing out on important advice an attorney could give me?

Does DC file on his own behalf? (I think not? but if so, what a horrible obligation to place on kid).

Honestly, I have a knot in my stomach just typing this. I fear poking the bear. I feel like my kid deserves this support, but I also am worried about any negative impact on relationship with Dad (which is already not great in some ways). I have not said anything to DC, but wonder if I should, especially if I file?

Thoughts? Any experiences to share?

Tell both of them the child support thing was 100% on you. Be the baddie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Never married so no formal custody or child support order. By mutual consent child always lived with mom full time w/ regular visitation w/ dad and child support paid by dad. Dad has informed me that he will no longer pay child support. We live in a state that requires child support until 21. DC is over 18 but under 21 and in college full time (for which Dad contributes nothing) and lives with me summers and breaks. I've looked at the child support calculator, and the amount owed and not paid would be significant.

Do I need an attorney to file for me? How much would using an attorney cost?

Can I self-file? Would that be dumb - would I be losing out on important advice an attorney could give me?

Does DC file on his own behalf? (I think not? but if so, what a horrible obligation to place on kid).

Honestly, I have a knot in my stomach just typing this. I fear poking the bear. I feel like my kid deserves this support, but I also am worried about any negative impact on relationship with Dad (which is already not great in some ways). I have not said anything to DC, but wonder if I should, especially if I file?

Thoughts? Any experiences to share?

Tell both of them the child support thing was 100% on you. Be the baddie.

I don’t understand what you mean by “be the baddie” - telling my DC I am filing for child support, which is required by law, is a relatively neutral statement. What do you mean “be the baddie”?

[Anonymous]

File ASAP.