Forum Index
»
General Parenting Discussion
I wish it was ok to have babies in your mid 40s.
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
People don’t get that having kids later keeps you in better health later. There’s a reason older mom’s live longer, and I think there’s a big emotional element alongside the physical. There’s a lot to be said about incredibly nuanced brain / body connections. https://time.com/2922235/mothers-birth-pregnancy-aging/ |
Anonymous
That’s not a reason to do so nor is that a fact. |
Anonymous
|
I wish I understood what causes the vitriol toward older motherhood. I'm not even an older mom, but I've never really understood why people get so invested in it. I really don't think it's concern for the kids because statistically older mothers tend to be more financially stable, have fewer children overall, and in better average physical health. So the kids from these older pregnancies are getting pretty stable, healthy moms who are well positioned to provide well for their children.
I'm guessing it has something to do with misogyny but it's still strange to me. Why be this invested in whether someone who is not you decides to have a baby or not? It's odd. |
Anonymous
| Not everyone meets a suitable partner at 25. |
Anonymous
Are you a parent? Age? |
Anonymous
And you think biology considers that? |
Anonymous
Sorry, responded on wrong post. Meant this for the “it’s just wrong” opined. |
Anonymous
My biology was fine with it. Healthy kiddo naturally conceived mid 40s. |
Anonymous
This has to be one of the most insipid posts. No one is guaranteed to be a decent grandparent. The number of people with substance abuse, chronic diseases or conditions, are involved in accidents, or are just morally and emotionally unavailable are legion. There are many, many people who are or become bad parents or grandparents and we aren't stopping those who are younger and healthy from procreating. Your judgement is really twisted. And there are no guarantees in life. I have known people who had children who have contracted cancer or other diseases and passed. I knew someone whose young and healthy mother had a heart attack when they were in grade school and passed quickly and unexpectedly. I also know that my father lived to age 93 and my mother is still healthy and active and just passed her 90th birthday. My mother-in-law passed at the age of 87. We didn't meet each other until our mid 30's, married late 30's and due to my spouse's own medical issues, we didn't have children until our mid 40's. Yes we required IVF to have our children, but our twins are now healthy 11 year olds and we are active and participatory parents. We are far more engaged with our children than many others that we know who were in their 20's and 30's when they had kids. We are now towards the end of our professional careers. We spent our 20's and 30's being very active and putting in the sweat equity to get to more senior positions and now in our positions, we have more flexibility to be there for our children than if we had had them 10-15 years earlier when we were busy building our careers and putting in the extra hours. We also have the financial means to provide more options for them. All around win-win for us. So, OP, you have to evaluate your own life and use your own metrics for whether you are too old. For us, it was the right decision to have children late (which was not our choice, but the first and only chance we had to have children). We are happy and involved parents and we have provided a lot of good things for our kids. |
Anonymous
At what age are you planning on becoming elderly and frail 
|
Anonymous
| Anything is possible it's a gambo either way just do it, Op! |
Anonymous
I linked to one study but there are plenty of others, both based on more modern data and also looking at historical demographic trends across populations. Like many scientific concepts, it’s not a fact per se, but it’s been studied extensively and certainly isn’t an anecdote. Of course living longer isn’t a “reason” to have kids later. But increased life expectancy does address a lot of the concerns expressed here around the physical toll of having children later in life and the ridiculous claims that it’s somehow selfish to have children in your 40s because you won’t have as much time with them. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/06/25/silver-lining-for-some-older-moms/ https://www.nature.com/articles/38148 |
Anonymous
Yes with egg donors or frozen eggs from when they were in their 30s. |
Anonymous
Totally agree with your post, PP. It’s also very odd to me. Really it must boil down to misogyny. I think it could kinda parallel the anti-choice crowd with their deep concern for the fetus (older moms are too tired, higher risk of complications, etc.??), without actually looking into what it means for the child (typically more attention, resources, better outcomes). I don’t know, maybe that’s a big stretch, but the whole thing just reeks of deep seeded insecurity and some sort of threat — no idea why though?! |
Anonymous
|
I don’t understand the venom on this thread. Some women can do it, others can’t. Some women want to, others don’t.
Where is the anger from? |