Gift giving at Bat Mitzvah?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People talk. I recall when I got married (I was third) I ask for excel list sister first created and passes to brother of guests to invite our side. I noticed two columns with gift amounts. I used it and the. Update it and added third commute. for younger sister.

We paid our own weddings and invited everyone, but amazing a handful of cheap rich relatives expect young brides to subsidize their meals.

The worse my one cheap uncle gave $25 each time. My one generous uncle gave $500 each time.

Don’t have to be too generous but don’t be that $25 guy to a $150 a plate dinner

I am protestant and we do not expect our guests to pay for their meal. We invite family, friends, and professional colleagues. I would be horrified if a guest even thought they should cover the cost of their meal. If you can't afford to pay for your child's party or your wedding, you think your guests should subsidize you. Unbelievable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People talk. I recall when I got married (I was third) I ask for excel list sister first created and passes to brother of guests to invite our side. I noticed two columns with gift amounts. I used it and the. Update it and added third commute. for younger sister.

We paid our own weddings and invited everyone, but amazing a handful of cheap rich relatives expect young brides to subsidize their meals.

The worse my one cheap uncle gave $25 each time. My one generous uncle gave $500 each time.

Don’t have to be too generous but don’t be that $25 guy to a $150 a plate dinner

I am protestant and we do not expect our guests to pay for their meal. We invite family, friends, and professional colleagues. I would be horrified if a guest even thought they should cover the cost of their meal. If you can't afford to pay for your child's party or your wedding, you think your guests should subsidize you. Unbelievable!

Please don't think this is something Jewish people expect. This is something a-holes expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a wealthy Catholic, I appreciate this thread. I would not have guessed that you spend so much money on a Bat Mitzvah gift - that’s different from what we do for Confirmation. So I am glad to know thoughts and numbers for appropriate gifts so as not to offend anyone.

I found this thread by reading the posts on the Webmaster forum.

I think that, from the perspective of a guest, the practical gift-giving approach is to treat a bar mitzvah like half a wedding, but with the gifts aimed at a teen. If you would give a couple $100, give the kid $50. But, if you hate giving wedding gifts and don’t give them, don’t give the kid a gift.

From the perspective of the host, it’s mortifying to think that the guests might feel as if they have to give any present other than their presence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t give a substantial gift, there’s no point in going. Don’t embarrass yourself and the hosts.

Right. We are not Jewish but gave $100 and was told by hostess mother that "most people have $500."! I kept her "personal note" to me and it is verbatim:

'Thank you for the $100. The average gift was $500 but we know that not everyone can afford this amount and Larlo appreciates all gifts."

I suspect that she thought that I would send her another $400. I did not.

We are jewish and would find $100 to be on the lowest end of what our children received, but we would NEVER comment on it. That's an awful note.

Even for a casual school friend you have never met? Different wealth levels gave different customs.

Oh my God - noone understands or cares about all of the effort. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

Well, presumably my CHILD would have met this casual school friend. So they would get $200 with a card from my child. Are you not understanding the months of prep work that go into this, after years of hebrew school, all the prayers that have to be memorized, how big a deal this is in the jewish religion? We think it's a very big deal to be celebrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People talk. I recall when I got married (I was third) I ask for excel list sister first created and passes to brother of guests to invite our side. I noticed two columns with gift amounts. I used it and the. Update it and added third commute. for younger sister.

We paid our own weddings and invited everyone, but amazing a handful of cheap rich relatives expect young brides to subsidize their meals.

The worse my one cheap uncle gave $25 each time. My one generous uncle gave $500 each time.

Don’t have to be too generous but don’t be that $25 guy to a $150 a plate dinner

I am protestant and we do not expect our guests to pay for their meal. We invite family, friends, and professional colleagues. I would be horrified if a guest even thought they should cover the cost of their meal. If you can't afford to pay for your child's party or your wedding, you think your guests should subsidize you. Unbelievable!

The goyim are never this cheap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People talk. I recall when I got married (I was third) I ask for excel list sister first created and passes to brother of guests to invite our side. I noticed two columns with gift amounts. I used it and the. Update it and added third commute. for younger sister.

We paid our own weddings and invited everyone, but amazing a handful of cheap rich relatives expect young brides to subsidize their meals.

The worse my one cheap uncle gave $25 each time. My one generous uncle gave $500 each time.

Don’t have to be too generous but don’t be that $25 guy to a $150 a plate dinner

I am protestant and we do not expect our guests to pay for their meal. We invite family, friends, and professional colleagues. I would be horrified if a guest even thought they should cover the cost of their meal. If you can't afford to pay for your child's party or your wedding, you think your guests should subsidize you. Unbelievable!

The goyim are never this cheap

Let's see:. You use a derogatory name for non-jews and non-jews are cheap because they would never expect guests to cover the cost of their meal when invited to a wedding or other celebration. Thank God, I do not know you and for which I shall be eternally grateful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People talk. I recall when I got married (I was third) I ask for excel list sister first created and passes to brother of guests to invite our side. I noticed two columns with gift amounts. I used it and the. Update it and added third commute. for younger sister.

We paid our own weddings and invited everyone, but amazing a handful of cheap rich relatives expect young brides to subsidize their meals.

The worse my one cheap uncle gave $25 each time. My one generous uncle gave $500 each time.

Don’t have to be too generous but don’t be that $25 guy to a $150 a plate dinner

I am protestant and we do not expect our guests to pay for their meal. We invite family, friends, and professional colleagues. I would be horrified if a guest even thought they should cover the cost of their meal. If you can't afford to pay for your child's party or your wedding, you think your guests should subsidize you. Unbelievable!

The goyim are never this cheap

Why the sarcasm?
Either a person is welcome at your party or they are not.
Never before dcum did I hear of this thing called ’cover the cost of your plate’!
Let me assure you, the kid will not remember what you give, unless you give nothing

Let's see:. You use a derogatory name for non-jews and non-jews are cheap because they would never expect guests to cover the cost of their meal when invited to a wedding or other celebration. Thank God, I do not know you and for which I shall be eternally grateful