I’ve been honest with my daughter about what we can afford but….

[Anonymous]

So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

Yes, have her buy an anti-lottery ticket where you can't afford to win the jackpot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. It's insane to tell your kid to apply when there is no realistic way that the parents can pay for it.

I'd be that OP probably has a HHI of $250K. Clearly a good HHI but not one that generally allows a DC resident (with the associated cost-of-living) to pay for $85K/year for college for two kids back-to-back.
However, it's way too much to qualify for financial aid at any school (Princeton, Harvard included).
There is zero way these schools are going to magically come up with aid.

I'm in this income bracket as are most of many of my friends in DC. We don't send our kids to Amherst or Northwestern or Harvard because we can't afford them.
There is a whole slew of kids at Walls and Wilson (Jackson Reed) who go to lower ranked schools because their parents don't have the $80K+/year for these school but because they're in the $200K+ income
range they do not qualify for aid. The kids who do attend are either 1)wealthier 2) poorer. Plenty of both in DCPS.

OP here. Thank you for posting. And yes, you are right. My stats match those you mentioned above. So then what do you do? Where does your child apply? The push for public is strong because of DC TAG and no need based financial aid, but she wants to see if she can get into harder schools knowing we can only give her about $30K/yr. Why not attend a fantastic public school who pays a strong student like you to attend is my thinking? Why be in a sea of high achievers at a place like Princeton only take out loans that force you into debt?

If you have a HHI of $250K and can give your kid $30K/year then there's no way your kid can attend Princeton or Pomona.
I don't think your kid can even borrow $50K/year. I'm not there (oldest kid is a junior) but there is ZERO way this kid should apply to schools that she is $50K/year out-of-range for.

I'm sorry OP. My kids are going to be in the exact same situation. We live in DC and have a decent income (mid 200's) but don't have $80K/year saved for college.
There are schools just below the top schools that offer merit aid. Again, I don't know off the top of my head but lots of DC kids attend them. You (and I) are not alone.

We are in the same boat. It's called being a "donut hole family". Not well off enough or have enough savings for $83K a year but don't qualify for aid, either. Both of our kids went public and it worked out very well. We are blessed to have the Virginia universities. Yes, we had saved and saved but as you know, the cost of private higher education has well-outpaced inflation. My own slac (which was 6K when I attended) should be $28K today. It's now $85k a year. And to remind - if you don't have that amount saved, you are paying in after tax dollars so you have to make $130 or so to pay the $85K. I had started trust funds when my children were born (this is pre 529) but had to raid them when special needs arose and they had to go to private school and needed private tutoring. Then we had to take care of aging parents. Then covid. Start saving every month in a 529. Engage the grandparents to help if you can. Start studying your options with public universities. Yes, use DC tag, of course, but it's a drop in the bucket. BTW, we built up a lot of equity in our home and refinanced once to help out a DC. You do what you can do but don't dangle a school that you cannot afford in front of your child. If necessary, take them to your financial counselor if you have one to lay out what the family can and cannot afford. And always tack in the costs of flying to the school, flying out to set up the dorm, flying the family for graduation. it really does add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid got into Princeton I would make it happen even if I had to borrow. But I would insist they help through ROTC or something.

I would sell my house and move someplace smaller and cheaper (esp if this was my youngest kid) but YMMV. If OP has been living in upper nourthwest for a while, he or she should have a lot of home equity.

Yeah and your HHI would drop dramatically if you did that so you'd be even better off from the standpoint of need-based aid.

Why would moving to Rockville lower your income?

[Anonymous]

Side note for OP: merit aid has zero to do with AP exam scores. Zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

I agree with this, specifically bc you mentioned she has 4s in AP tests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

I agree with this, specifically bc you mentioned she has 4s in AP tests.

Side note for this poster. AP scores have almost zero to do with college admissions. Zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid got into Princeton I would make it happen even if I had to borrow. But I would insist they help through ROTC or something.

I would sell my house and move someplace smaller and cheaper (esp if this was my youngest kid) but YMMV. If OP has been living in upper nourthwest for a while, he or she should have a lot of home equity.

Yeah and your HHI would drop dramatically if you did that so you'd be even better off from the standpoint of need-based aid.

Why would moving to Rockville lower your income?

You're not going to get a house in Rockville that is cheaper enough to free up Princeton tuition money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

The is the one piece of advice where there is no good outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So unlikely to get in. I’d let her apply.

I agree with this, specifically bc you mentioned she has 4s in AP tests.

Side note for this poster. AP scores have almost zero to do with college admissions. Zero.

But 4s prove the kid has some academic weaknesses. To be selected when you have 3/100 chance, you pretty much have to have zero chinks in the armor. Kids getting into Princeton are true academic superstars (or have a hook, which guessing this kid doesn’t based on OP). They are not getting 4s on AP tests, which have been pretty basic as my kid has taken them (and my kid isn’t going to get into a Princeton either).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid got into Princeton I would make it happen even if I had to borrow. But I would insist they help through ROTC or something.

I would sell my house and move someplace smaller and cheaper (esp if this was my youngest kid) but YMMV. If OP has been living in upper nourthwest for a while, he or she should have a lot of home equity.

Yeah and your HHI would drop dramatically if you did that so you'd be even better off from the standpoint of need-based aid.

Why would moving to Rockville lower your income?

You're not going to get a house in Rockville that is cheaper enough to free up Princeton tuition money.

I would think you could get a house in Rockville that is $200K less than a house in AU Park. Depends on the house though and where OP lives.

[Anonymous]

You’re all crazy. You don’t sell your house to pay for college. That’s insane. You sell your house to pay for your retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

[b]She can manage her own college application process and her own emotions. I’m very surprised at the people who want to insulate their kids from making hard choices. [/b

I normally let my kids make their own decisions/hard choices, even when I know they don't fully understand the consequences. But this choice involves tens of thousands of dollars of MY money, not theirs. If I have to pay, then you better believe I will have veto power (they can choose whatever schools they want to apply to as long as we can afford it). Also, do you really think 17-years old are capable on their own of effectively managing their emotions? Scientific studies show their brains are NOT fully developed at that stage, plus they lack a lot of life experience, so they need a little help in gaining perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correct. It's insane to tell your kid to apply when there is no realistic way that the parents can pay for it.

I'd be that OP probably has a HHI of $250K. Clearly a good HHI but not one that generally allows a DC resident (with the associated cost-of-living) to pay for $85K/year for college for two kids back-to-back.
However, it's way too much to qualify for financial aid at any school (Princeton, Harvard included).
There is zero way these schools are going to magically come up with aid.

I'm in this income bracket as are most of many of my friends in DC. We don't send our kids to Amherst or Northwestern or Harvard because we can't afford them.
There is a whole slew of kids at Walls and Wilson (Jackson Reed) who go to lower ranked schools because their parents don't have the $80K+/year for these school but because they're in the $200K+ income
range they do not qualify for aid. The kids who do attend are either 1)wealthier 2) poorer. Plenty of both in DCPS.

OP here. Thank you for posting. And yes, you are right. My stats match those you mentioned above. So then what do you do? Where does your child apply? The push for public is strong because of DC TAG and no need based financial aid, but she wants to see if she can get into harder schools knowing we can only give her about $30K/yr. Why not attend a fantastic public school who pays a strong student like you to attend is my thinking? Why be in a sea of high achievers at a place like Princeton only take out loans that force you into debt?

If you have a HHI of $250K and can give your kid $30K/year then there's no way your kid can attend Princeton or Pomona.
I don't think your kid can even borrow $50K/year. I'm not there (oldest kid is a junior) but there is ZERO way this kid should apply to schools that she is $50K/year out-of-range for.

I'm sorry OP. My kids are going to be in the exact same situation. We live in DC and have a decent income (mid 200's) but don't have $80K/year saved for college.
There are schools just below the top schools that offer merit aid. Again, I don't know off the top of my head but lots of DC kids attend them. You (and I) are not alone.

We are in the same boat. It's called being a "donut hole family". Not well off enough or have enough savings for $83K a year but don't qualify for aid, either. Both of our kids went public and it worked out very well. We are blessed to have the Virginia universities. Yes, we had saved and saved but as you know, the cost of private higher education has well-outpaced inflation. My own slac (which was 6K when I attended) should be $28K today. It's now $85k a year. And to remind - if you don't have that amount saved, you are paying in after tax dollars so you have to make $130 or so to pay the $85K. I had started trust funds when my children were born (this is pre 529) but had to raid them when special needs arose and they had to go to private school and needed private tutoring. Then we had to take care of aging parents. Then covid. Start saving every month in a 529. Engage the grandparents to help if you can. Start studying your options with public universities. Yes, use DC tag, of course, but it's a drop in the bucket. BTW, we built up a lot of equity in our home and refinanced once to help out a DC. You do what you can do but don't dangle a school that you cannot afford in front of your child. If necessary, take them to your financial counselor if you have one to lay out what the family can and cannot afford. And always tack in the costs of flying to the school, flying out to set up the dorm, flying the family for graduation. it really does add up.

OP here. Thank you to you both for commiserating. Its nice to know there are others in DC out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

[b]She can manage her own college application process and her own emotions. I’m very surprised at the people who want to insulate their kids from making hard choices. [/b

I normally let my kids make their own decisions/hard choices, even when I know they don't fully understand the consequences. But this choice involves tens of thousands of dollars of MY money, not theirs. If I have to pay, then you better believe I will have veto power (they can choose whatever schools they want to apply to as long as we can afford it). Also, do you really think 17-years old are capable on their own of effectively managing their emotions? Scientific studies show their brains are NOT fully developed at that stage, plus they lack a lot of life experience, so they need a little help in gaining perspective.

Agreed.

Saying "Letting a kid make hard choices" makes zero sense in this situation. It would make sense if the kid had $80K in his bank account and was debating whether using it to pay for Princeton or cheaper State U plus a house down payment.

In this scenario, THERE IS NO 80K and the OP's child does not have a "choice"--hard or not. There is $30K for school with a parental income ($250K) that is too high for financial aid.