Weigh in on a debate I’m having

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

Right?! Appetizer lady probably knows her husband won’t eat apps and also realizes how rude rejecting appetizers is so she orders one. Some people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

Right?! Appetizer lady probably knows her husband won’t eat apps and also realizes how rude rejecting appetizers is so she orders one. Some people!

It’s absolutely preposterous that not ordering an app is some sort of slight to the chef. I have only so much stomach room so I save the extra space for dessert.

[Anonymous]

So, she is not supposed to get her entree when everyone else does, just because you are so concerned over extra calories that you don’t want to have a light snack before going, or to share an appetizer to avoid being so hungry you can’t wait an extra 10 min for the meal to be served?

Either way, you’ll be watching her eat as she will be eating after everyone else, and then you’ll still consider her rude for prolonging the evening.

You’re really concerned/ bothered about what you perceive to be gluttony or ability to eat both an app and an entree, aren’t you?

While I’d be uncomfortable doing what she does, I applaud her for enjoying a proper dinner out, even when out with people who clearly don’t like food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

Right?! Appetizer lady probably knows her husband won’t eat apps and also realizes how rude rejecting appetizers is so she orders one. Some people!

It’s absolutely preposterous that not ordering an app is some sort of slight to the chef. I have only so much stomach room so I save the extra space for dessert.

Dessert is usually a separate pastry chef.m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s ordering an app AND an entree? Then of course the app comes first. If you’re that hungry, order your own appetizer.

If she’s ordering an app AS her dinner, then it’s weird to not have it come out at the same time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

Right?! Appetizer lady probably knows her husband won’t eat apps and also realizes how rude rejecting appetizers is so she orders one. Some people!

It’s absolutely preposterous that not ordering an app is some sort of slight to the chef. I have only so much stomach room so I save the extra space for dessert.

Dessert is usually a separate pastry chef.m

So now I’m supposed to know each role in the kitchen? What if I don’t order something with a sauce, will the saucier have her feelings hurt?!

[Anonymous]

OP -- you need to order an appetizer too. You don't have to eat all of it. Share it with DH and the other guy. Just have a small taste. There must be something on the menu you'd like to try.

Either that, or have a second glass of wine. Because you are getting worked up over nothing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know you don’t get this.. but part of the point of an appetizer is to quell your hunger so you don’t snarf down your entrée like a ravenous hyena on the plains. If you are that hungry for dinner that 10 minutes of polite company is some kind of insurmountable burden, then yes, you need/should have an appetizer as well.

There is a reason that appetizers are the perfect size and usually in multiple bites for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know you don’t get this.. but part of the point of an appetizer is to quell your hunger so you don’t snarf down your entrée like a ravenous hyena on the plains. If you are that hungry for dinner that 10 minutes of polite company is some kind of insurmountable burden, then yes, you need/should have an appetizer as well.

There is a reason that appetizers are the perfect size and usually in multiple bites for sharing.

+100. At most nicer restaurants, portions are such that an appetizer and an entree are about right for a normal appetite, especially if shared. They're not the Cheesesteak Factory. It boggles my mind that you'd be so gnaw your leg off hungry that 15 minutes in a delay of food is an issue yet you won't do the obvious thing and order an app for the table. Do you get your entree, throw it down your gullet and ask for the check? Doesn't sound like a nice night out to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask her to have her appetizer come out with her entree. The whole point of appetizers is you eat them before your main course.

DH and I are app, entree, and dessert people when we go out for a nice dinner. We stopped going out to dinner with one entree-only couple because they made us feel weird and awkward about wanting to take our time and enjoy the dining experience.

Let me guess, you also wanted to split the bill evenly, thus forcing them to pay for your apps and desserts?

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

How insane. You do not 'know all the etiquette".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

You’re as ridiculous as the OP.

[Anonymous]

I guess I am super rude because I would absolutely order an appetizer and have it come out first if I wanted first. But I also have friends who are laid-back and it would never occur to any of us to care about this? Like if someone ordered an app and I didn’t want one I would never even think to question whether I should sit there nicely and chat while they eat it. So not a big deal!

[Anonymous]

I totally assumed that the other woman ordered an appetizer and entree, not that she ordered only an appetizer. Op, please come back and clarify!!!

Regardless, if everyone orders entrees, any appetizers come out first. If that bother you so much, Op, just order a small salad or cup of soup.

If the other woman is ordering something from the appetizer menu as her main dish (every time? do you always go to the same place?) and is not ordering an entree, all of the food should come out together. Otherwise it’s weird. You’re watching her eat and then she’s watching the rest of you eat. If that’s the situation, start going somewhere other than a restaurant. Or suck it up bc you enjoy their company and life is short (and have a snack before you leave).

[Anonymous]

She probably figures it gives you all more time to chat and catch up. Isn’t that the point of going out together? Otherwise it’s like you’re rushing through the meal (especially if no one gets dessert). If I had a friend always ordering apps, I would figure they want to spend more time with me and I’d get something small to share with my spouse so my friend was not eating alone.