Weigh in on a debate I’m having

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

That would be incredibly rude of you to mention this to your friend. Should you wish to partake in something while your friend enjoys her meal then you might suggest an appetizer for the table or you can request bread from your waiter. If you find yourself too hungry you can excuse yourself to the restroom and request a glass of water and some nuts from the bar. You might consider eating a small snack in the afternoon as you should never allow your body to become so hungry that you cannot wait comfortably for 20 minutes.

You might want to direct that to appetizer-only-but-but-still-must-come-first lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

That would be incredibly rude of you to mention this to your friend. Should you wish to partake in something while your friend enjoys her meal then you might suggest an appetizer for the table or you can request bread from your waiter. If you find yourself too hungry you can excuse yourself to the restroom and request a glass of water and some nuts from the bar. You might consider eating a small snack in the afternoon as you should never allow your body to become so hungry that you cannot wait comfortably for 20 minutes.

You might want to direct that to appetizer-only-but-but-still-must-come-first lady.

Are you sure she only orders an appetizer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ask her to have her appetizer come out with her entree. The whole point of appetizers is you eat them before your main course.

DH and I are app, entree, and dessert people when we go out for a nice dinner. We stopped going out to dinner with one entree-only couple because they made us feel weird and awkward about wanting to take our time and enjoy the dining experience.

Let me guess, you also wanted to split the bill evenly, thus forcing them to pay for your apps and desserts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

That would be incredibly rude of you to mention this to your friend. Should you wish to partake in something while your friend enjoys her meal then you might suggest an appetizer for the table or you can request bread from your waiter. If you find yourself too hungry you can excuse yourself to the restroom and request a glass of water and some nuts from the bar. You might consider eating a small snack in the afternoon as you should never allow your body to become so hungry that you cannot wait comfortably for 20 minutes.

You might want to direct that to appetizer-only-but-but-still-must-come-first lady.

Are you sure she only orders an appetizer?

I’m not sure why so many people need clarification…it’s pretty clear from the placement of the “just” in the op that the wife is ordering an app and an entree. The op specifies that she, her DH, and the other husband are “just” getting an entree, which wouldn’t make sense if the other wife was only getting an appetizer.

[Anonymous]

More time for wine. What’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

[Anonymous]

This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who goes to a restaurant and insults the chef by avoiding the first course. Off to Applebees with you!

Weirdo.

There are plenty of people who go to restaurants that are not Applebee's level that don't order a first course. Not everyone wants to eat that much food.

I agree if it's a fine dining restaurants with courses stated, rather than just a starters menu, then you're there for the experience and the assorted courses.

[Anonymous]

The crew responding is insufferable. Op needs to learn how to eat a proper meal. 5 courses are a minimum. Wine pairings a must. Excellent conversation an absolute.

Katie Curt who just wants to rush through her dinner sounds so unappealing.

[Anonymous]

She’s ordering an app AND an entree? Then of course the app comes first. If you’re that hungry, order your own appetizer.

If she’s ordering an app AS her dinner, then it’s weird to not have it come out at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

It drives you crazy when someone orders an appetizer? This is very weird how anti-appetizer some people are. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

It drives you crazy when someone orders an appetizer? This is very weird how anti-appetizer some people are. I had no idea.

Read the room. If you’re the only one ordering an app, you’re holding up everyone else’s meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The crew responding is insufferable. Op needs to learn how to eat a proper meal. 5 courses are a minimum. Wine pairings a must. Excellent conversation an absolute.

Katie Curt who just wants to rush through her dinner sounds so unappealing.

So is excess fat and arteriosclerosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me crazy. How can the one person not know that SHE is the one being rude. Has she never heard the rule that you never eat in front of other people if they aren't eating?

That said, it is rude to also tell her she can't eat her meal in what would be considered a normal, restaurant order.

Her husband has to notice this. He should say something.

If not, you either stop going out with them. (It can't be that fun if you're sitting there for 20 minutes frustrated.) Or suck it up and share an appetizer with your DH.

Clueless behavior that you can't really address politely.

But I will tell you, I know all the etiquette and I would probably say something to her IF I was fine with never seeing them again if that was how it played out.

It drives you crazy when someone orders an appetizer? This is very weird how anti-appetizer some people are. I had no idea.

Read the room. If you’re the only one ordering an app, you’re holding up everyone else’s meal.

This is so weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

That would be incredibly rude of you to mention this to your friend. Should you wish to partake in something while your friend enjoys her meal then you might suggest an appetizer for the table or you can request bread from your waiter. If you find yourself too hungry you can excuse yourself to the restroom and request a glass of water and some nuts from the bar. You might consider eating a small snack in the afternoon as you should never allow your body to become so hungry that you cannot wait comfortably for 20 minutes.

You might want to direct that to appetizer-only-but-but-still-must-come-first lady.

DP. This is about the OP though, appetizer lady eats when she wants, it’s OP that has a problem with it.