Weigh in on a debate I’m having

[Anonymous]

We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

It’s rude. If you’re that hungry order your own appetizer or get something for the table.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

[Anonymous]

Could you say, why don't we have it all come out together, so we can eat together? Would you be ok with that?

and see what they say

[Anonymous]

She’s probably doing it to spend more time together. Just get an app an share with your husband.

[Anonymous]

The wife is the rude one, and it’s really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

Then order an appetizer as your meal. Dictating when other people eat is never ok. You never know if she had medical issues or some other reason why she does this but frankly it’s not your business. If you want to eat during appetizer time then order something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

DP. I don’t understand this at all, how does when she’s eating affect you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

Then order an appetizer as your meal. Dictating when other people eat is never ok. You never know if she had medical issues or some other reason why she does this but frankly it’s not your business. If you want to eat during appetizer time then order something.

But how is she not dictating when I am eating? She knows that her behavior means that everyone else will begin their meal significantly after her. If the food comes out all together, where’s the problem? She will get all her food only shortly after she would have received her appetizer.

[Anonymous]

I would find it overly controlling if someone said I should have my appetizer with the meal and I don't think your entrees will come faster if she forgoes the salad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you say, why don't we have it all come out together, so we can eat together? Would you be ok with that?

and see what they say

Yes, this is what I want. I would frankly feel odd eating while everyone watches me, I find it curious that she is so nonchalant about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would find it overly controlling if someone said I should have my appetizer with the meal and I don't think your entrees will come faster if she forgoes the salad.

It 100% will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

DP. I don’t understand this at all, how does when she’s eating affect you?

Sigh. Because they’re all sitting there hungry, watching one rude person eat. If she wasn’t clueless, she’d have noticed this the first time they went out and either stopped ordering appetizers or asked for it to come with everyone’s meals.

[Anonymous]

YTA