Weigh in on a debate I’m having

[Anonymous]

OP, you are being petty and petulant. An adult should be able to manage an extra 20 minutes before eating. Appetizers are intended to be served before the entree/main course. You clearly have a hang up about how comfortable this friend is with eating what she wants.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine getting peeved over something so trivial. Is your friend relishing her appetizer for an hour while the rest of you sit there drooling? The friend could just as well wonder why you’re not getting a small bite first.
You sound ridiculous, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do that, just buy your own. Talk about oblivious.

See, I KNEW someone would say this. But I don’t see the point of buying food I don’t want. I just want to eat my food at the same time she’s eating hers, instead of 20 minutes later.

Why can’t your friend order what she wants, just like you’re doing? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Is her appetizer her dinner or does she get an entree as well? That's the crux of the matter.

You could also just get a small house salad or soup to come out as an app so you can eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go out to dinner quite frequently with another couple. Generally my husband, the other husband, and I just get an entree, but the other wife often gets an appetizer. When asked if she’d like it to come out first or with the rest of the food, she always requests that it come out first. This leads to the rest of us sitting around watching her eat as we wait for our dinner. I think this is fairly oblivious behavior and I’m a little over it. I think between friends I can say nicely, “Frances, do you mind if your app comes with the rest of the food? I’m pretty hungry!” My husband thinks this is rude and I shouldn’t say anything. I think if stated cheerfully it’s a perfectly polite request and will gently nudge her to realize that maybe making everyone else wait for their food isn’t the most thoughtful behavior. What do you think?

How is she making you wait for your food?

Ordering an appetizer obviously delays the preparation of the entrees.

It doesn’t have to. They sit the plates under warmers until all the entrees for the table are ready. I’ve always asked for our food to be brought out as it is ready instead of all at once. And yes I know it makes more work for the server but I tip appropriately and have never had a problem. And yes that means some people are eating before others but that’s better than my plate just sitting in the back under a warmer.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the waiter: “bob, does it make more sense to bring them all together? Since it’s a dinner, didn’t want to clog things up in the kitchen”

That would be quite shockingly rude. Why go out to eat with people if you have zero respect for them and freak out at their completely normal desire to order an appetizer?

I think OP should stick to tapas places since she’s incapable of handling a regular dining experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is her appetizer her dinner or does she get an entree as well? That's the crux of the matter.

You could also just get a small house salad or soup to come out as an app so you can eat.

I agree. I’m confused whether she’s only ordering the appetizer as her meal. If so, it’s really weird to ask for your meal first. If she’s ordering an appetizer and an entree, then OP needs to keep her mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

If the appetizer is her meal, then you say "could mine come out with hers?" and that will solve your issue OR prompt a conversation where all the food comes out at once or "as soon as it's ready" so they aren't holding back the other plates waiting for her to finish.

If she is ordering an appetizer AND a main, then you need to order a side salad or a vegetable or a soup or something as well if you want to eat with her.

But no, you cannot tell this other woman when her food should come out after she has requested it at a specific time.

[Anonymous]

I think she's weird for doing this and I think you'd be weird to say something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YTA

Can’t be the A if they haven’t said anything.

She’s the A hole just for thinking about saying something.

You're the thought police now? What a freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she's weird for doing this and I think you'd be weird to say something.

This

[Anonymous]

Don’t ask her to have her appetizer come out with her entree. The whole point of appetizers is you eat them before your main course.

DH and I are app, entree, and dessert people when we go out for a nice dinner. We stopped going out to dinner with one entree-only couple because they made us feel weird and awkward about wanting to take our time and enjoy the dining experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need clarification. I think some posters took it as she was getting an app in addition to her meal (I did too) in which case, I don’t get what you’re mad about. But yeah if that’s the only thing she’s ordering as her meal, then it’s totally weird if it comes out first

If it's her whole meal, I think she's weird for not eating it with the entrees, but OP still should not say anything.

If she orders an appetizer and an entree, then OP is truly a batsh*t crazy, terrible person.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m with you. Maybe ask the server to just bring your entree whenever it’s ready. If you make it nbd and are light and pleasant, it should be fine. It’s weird for someone to order an appetizer when nobody else is, because she knows you will all be sitting there watching her eat.