S/O. What’s the point of potty training so young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone stop yelling at each other!

Turns out: some kids train better early. Some kids train better later. Some kids train easier, some kids train harder. There is actually a wide variation in potty training experiences and behavior.

I don’t actually care when people potty train their kids but if I had one wish on this subject it would be that people stop being so critical (and smug!) towards other parents. You really have no idea what their experience will be or was. MYOB.

You said exactly what I was going to say!

[Anonymous]

I introduced my child to the potty around 2 but didn't really push it. Just before she turned 3, I notice she was wiggling a bit in the bath and asked if she needed to pee. She said yes, and when I stuck her on the potty something clicked. She was then trained in like a day or so. She was also night trained as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

My kids are early 50's now, so we were near the end of cloth diapers. Late 60's early 70's. Kids trained at much the same time as now, certainly not "two or earlier."

In 1957, 92 percent of children in the United States were toilet trained by 18 months of age. But by the turn of the millennium, the number of toddlers who were potty trained at age two—that is, 6 months later than those kids in the 1957 statistic—was only 4 percent.

These days, most parents don’t even start potty training their children until 21 to 36 months of age. And less than 60 percent of today’s kids are potty independent by 36 months.

https://theeverydayenvironmentalist.com/episode-18-how-diaper-companies-doubled-the-average-age-of-potty-training/

So, I read the article and clicked on two of the author's links, randomly. Of those two linked articles, one was a sales pitch from an author selling a book, and the other one literally said the study cited showed no benefit to early potty training. I stopped clicking after that.

[Anonymous]

The benefit of potty training before two is that it’s easier for the child. And so much cleaner.

I loved seeing my then two year old trot off to the bathroom himself without prompting and then hear the toilet flush and water run! Then he’d trot back and go back to playing.

[Anonymous]

I actually looked into and tried elimination communication. That ended because I couldn’t deal with triple feeding and “observing” which resulted in my baby pooping all over everything in the midst of triple feeding. The few times she went in the potty wasn’t worth the massive pain…

Then I read this perspective which made sense to me.
https://visiblechild.com/2015/09/20/toilet-training-in-one-simple-step/

So I’ll probably go this route instead.

There is a urologist whose research showed that training too early is a risk for withholding and constipation which can lead to urinary jncontinence (from distended rectum pressing on bladder) in vulnerable children. So there can be downsides to too early.

But some children are ready at two so if your kid is I wouldn’t hesitate but other kids aren’t ready til almost 4 and I wouldn’t endure months of torture after age 3 just because you think it should be done at 3 either.

[Anonymous]

My 15 month old was turning poopy diaper changes into an all out battle that resulted in poop everywhere. The ped said I should just see if I could get him to poop on the potty casually and if I was successful then hey, one less poopy diaper. I did, very easily, because DS was very obvious about when he was about to poop so I would just swoop him up and get him to the bathroom (I used an insert, not a little potty). At 20 months I officially trained him for pee as well. Benefits: 1) no more fighting, 2) diapers are expensive! 3) don't need to lug diapering things around everywhere or forget to and get caught in a disaster situation.

I currently have a 10 month old and am counting down the days until I can repeat this, as he currently loves to roll around during a poopy diaper change (never a pee diaper change, only a poopy diaper change, obviously) and it's a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Not gonna lie, we trained on the earlier side (not super early, but around 23/24 months) mainly because my mother would not shut up about me being trained by 2. I'll admit it was a very dumb reason, but in retrospect I'm glad we do it. It went super quickly and I'm not sure that would have been the case if she were older. DD was *so* receptive to awards around that age and we hadn't really gotten into power struggles yet. Also, I do find it easier to not have to carry a diaper bag or worry about emptying the pail. And she is good about giving us a lot of notice and being able to hold it, so things are more predictable. Like if we're on a road trip we can plan bathroom breaks, it's not just sudden "oh she pooped."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are expensive, and in the past people
Had to use cloth diapers which are a pain

I use/d cloth diapers from birth for all my kids (youngest is still in them at almost 12 months old). Modern cloth is not a pain at all! It can be quite expensive to set up (we own an obscene number of diapers-- easily 40 covers, 25 pockets, 25 all-in-ones, and over 100 liners and flats/pre-folds), but once you have your stash, there is very little cost. Yes, there is a little more expense with laundry, but it really isn't that excessive.

The routine is easy. When I fold laundry, I just pad fold (fold into a rectangle) a bunch of flats and prefolds. When we change the baby, we just lay a pad-folded diaper with a hemp liner in the cover and snap it closed the same way disposable diapers velcro or tape closed. It's very easy!

Washing is also easy. Scrape solids into the toilet, throw the diaper into a wet bag until laundry is done, wash diapers in their own load, and fold when dry. That's it!

My kids have all done very well with cloth. If I recall correctly, we've only experienced a handful of blowouts or leaks from each child, which is probably the same as a child in disposable diapers would experience.

Potty training is also easy in cloth (we use cloth trainers then, which are like reusable pull-ups). We just make sure the layer next to the child's skin in cotton (not hemp or bamboo) because it feels wet, so they are more aware of drips. So far, all my kids have been day-trained by 20-24 months, and night-trained by 2.5 to 3.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

What? My two 20 month olds were also trained in 2 days. It wasn't stressful, and then we didn't have to deal with diapers anymore.

Ymmv but your response is judgey and wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are expensive, and in the past people
Had to use cloth diapers which are a pain

I use/d cloth diapers from birth for all my kids (youngest is still in them at almost 12 months old). Modern cloth is not a pain at all! It can be quite expensive to set up (we own an obscene number of diapers-- easily 40 covers, 25 pockets, 25 all-in-ones, and over 100 liners and flats/pre-folds), but once you have your stash, there is very little cost. Yes, there is a little more expense with laundry, but it really isn't that excessive.

The routine is easy. When I fold laundry, I just pad fold (fold into a rectangle) a bunch of flats and prefolds. When we change the baby, we just lay a pad-folded diaper with a hemp liner in the cover and snap it closed the same way disposable diapers velcro or tape closed. It's very easy!

Washing is also easy. Scrape solids into the toilet, throw the diaper into a wet bag until laundry is done, wash diapers in their own load, and fold when dry. That's it!

My kids have all done very well with cloth. If I recall correctly, we've only experienced a handful of blowouts or leaks from each child, which is probably the same as a child in disposable diapers would experience.

Potty training is also easy in cloth (we use cloth trainers then, which are like reusable pull-ups). We just make sure the layer next to the child's skin in cotton (not hemp or bamboo) because it feels wet, so they are more aware of drips. So far, all my kids have been day-trained by 20-24 months, and night-trained by 2.5 to 3.5.

We also use cloth (on kid 3 now) and agree it's easy. And also, for others reading this, you don't need nearly as many diapers or covers as pp. Nobody would cloth diaper if you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are expensive, and in the past people
Had to use cloth diapers which are a pain

I use/d cloth diapers from birth for all my kids (youngest is still in them at almost 12 months old). Modern cloth is not a pain at all! It can be quite expensive to set up (we own an obscene number of diapers-- easily 40 covers, 25 pockets, 25 all-in-ones, and over 100 liners and flats/pre-folds), but once you have your stash, there is very little cost. Yes, there is a little more expense with laundry, but it really isn't that excessive.

The routine is easy. When I fold laundry, I just pad fold (fold into a rectangle) a bunch of flats and prefolds. When we change the baby, we just lay a pad-folded diaper with a hemp liner in the cover and snap it closed the same way disposable diapers velcro or tape closed. It's very easy!

Washing is also easy. Scrape solids into the toilet, throw the diaper into a wet bag until laundry is done, wash diapers in their own load, and fold when dry. That's it!

My kids have all done very well with cloth. If I recall correctly, we've only experienced a handful of blowouts or leaks from each child, which is probably the same as a child in disposable diapers would experience.

Potty training is also easy in cloth (we use cloth trainers then, which are like reusable pull-ups). We just make sure the layer next to the child's skin in cotton (not hemp or bamboo) because it feels wet, so they are more aware of drips. So far, all my kids have been day-trained by 20-24 months, and night-trained by 2.5 to 3.5.

We also use cloth (on kid 3 now) and agree it's easy. And also, for others reading this, you don't need nearly as many diapers or covers as pp. Nobody would cloth diaper if you did.

Yes, we own way too many diapers! I went ballistic buying cute diapers for each kid, and we now have about 5x-8x more diapers than are necessary. Covers can be reused unless soiled, so you probably only need about 10-12 if you wash every other day. You probably also only need a few dozen flats, prefolds, and liners if you wash every other day.

[Anonymous]

My mom and dad stayed with us for one year each time we had a new baby. My mom started “training” both my kids when they were about 6 months old. I think the adults were more trained in getting the kids to sit on the potty to pee and poop timing it strategically. Lol.. anyhow, both kids were able to indicate that they needed to use the toilet by the time they were a 18 month old. They became completely toilet trained by three.

The upside was — saving on diapers and wipes, ecologically responsible, minimal cleaning of their butts, could use normal toilet paper and sanitary faucets, kids got toilet trained very quickly and organically, and no diaper rash or other infections …EVER.

Downside - we still used some diapers at night, when going out, when kids were sick, while traveling etc. Kids did not like to go pee or poop in diaper and wanted to be changed as soon as they had an accident. We had to make portable kid potties available at all levels of our house, in the toy room, in their bedroom, in the backyard, in the back of our minivan….you get the idea. Their bladders are small and they can’t really hold in their pee and poop for too long. Their clothing had to also work so they could pull down their pants quickly to use the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually looked into and tried elimination communication. That ended because I couldn’t deal with triple feeding and “observing” which resulted in my baby pooping all over everything in the midst of triple feeding. The few times she went in the potty wasn’t worth the massive pain…

Then I read this perspective which made sense to me.
https://visiblechild.com/2015/09/20/toilet-training-in-one-simple-step/

So I’ll probably go this route instead.

There is a urologist whose research showed that training too early is a risk for withholding and constipation which can lead to urinary jncontinence (from distended rectum pressing on bladder) in vulnerable children. So there can be downsides to too early.

But some children are ready at two so if your kid is I wouldn’t hesitate but other kids aren’t ready til almost 4 and I wouldn’t endure months of torture after age 3 just because you think it should be done at 3 either.

Those kids had cerebral palsy and it is a single study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wished I’d trained earlier because I have a very strong willed kid and it wound up taking forever. I envied my friends who potty trained when their kids were right at 2 because I think there was less push back and it went faster.

Having said that, I do think it’s more of a pain than people let on to train early because friends who did this spent forever with the portable potties and structuring their day around making sure their 2 yr old had access to a potty quickly. I guess you get used to it but I’m not sure that it’s that much easier than just carrying a diaper bag. I’d meet friends at the playground and I’d just have a backpack and my kid on a scooter. They’d have their stroller (in case they needed to get home fast), a portable toilet with bags, a change of clothes, etc. For months and months. I never had to do that because by the time my DD trained, she had the bladder size/control to hold it plus the communication skills to let us know she had to go with plenty of warning. Most just-turned 2 yr olds don’t have that.

So in terms of hassle, I don’t think training earlier magically liberates you. BUT to me the main advantage would have been training before my DD hit her obstinate toddler phase, which for her started around 2.5. Potty training was brutal and took way longer than it did for people I know who trained earlier.

This is true. In my case I could choose between cleaning a poop accident off the floor or off a toddler scrotum. Pick your poison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.