PSA: when sending your kid with another parent to do an activity, please send more than $20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

Please review the difference between "any" and "half" and then try again. Thanks in advance.

I don’t get it. The logical thing is the child takes home what she picked. Tell her that. Grow a backbone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

“Any” doesn’t mean half. Regardless OP should have spoken up in the moment.

[Anonymous]

My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but do any of you spend more than $20 PER kid at the zoo? It’s free. What am I missing? Bring water, some goldfish packs, and maybe spring for the carrousel OR an ice cream.

Did the OP say she was going to the DC zoo? Most other zoos charge admission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$20 is plenty for food. If you don’t plan to pay, don’t invite. Simple.

Maybe in 2000 but not 2022.

I chaperoned my kid's zoo trip and I couldn't believe all the kids who came with only $20 or even worse, just $10! To be fair, the school did not specify how much money would be needed. They just said an appropriate amount for lunch and drinks.

And let me say, it was a school rule that no backpacks, bag lunches, or reusable water bottles were allowed.

It was a very hot day the day we went. Gatorade was like $4.50 a bottle. I think water was around that price, too. Lunch at the cafe where my group was assigned was pretty expensive, too. A burger was like $8, fries $5, and a drink was $4. Some kids who had purchased a beverage earlier in the day didn't have enough money for more than another drink and some fries. I covered the meals and drinks for several kids in my group because I wasn't going to let them go hungry.

Gatorade+burger+fries+water is $20.

The school dropped the ball here. A sack lunch is appropriate for a zoo field trip. The cafes are always very slow, I can't imagine how much time was wasted waiting for everyone to order and eat the food. Bad idea. What kind of school was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

In general, I agree with you. I will say though, that with prices rising so much, it is getting hard to treat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

In general, I agree with you. I will say though, that with prices rising so much, it is getting hard to treat.

I agree. Things are so expensive right now and I try not to assume that everyone can cover the cost of an outing. I always offer to pay (generally I use venmo instead of cash.) Sometimes people take me up on it, and sometimes not.

I took my daughter and a friend to the minions movie last week and after tickets, snacks, and parking I'm sure I spent over 100$. The mom offered to pay and since the girls hang out a lot I said it's ok, and it will even out. But I really appreciated that she asked. You never know what someone's financial situation is. And those situations can change quickly.

[Anonymous]

I expect to pay if we are going out for food but generally parents have paid for bigger items like water parks or shopping trips etc. We are taking these kids out multiple times per week so can't pay every time. But it's just understood already that big items require the parent to pay

[Anonymous]

My DD was talking about our upcoming beach trip. Her friend expressed interest in going and asked me if she could go. I said sure, but she needs.to bring money for anything besides food. She showed up with nothing and I had to eat the cost of amusement park rides, mini golf tshirts and a beach towel since she didnt bring one. We are on a tight budget and even this extra $100 bothered me since I also had to pay for food and snacks on top of it. No comment from the parents. All expense paid trip for their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD was talking about our upcoming beach trip. Her friend expressed interest in going and asked me if she could go. I said sure, but she needs.to bring money for anything besides food. She showed up with nothing and I had to eat the cost of amusement park rides, mini golf tshirts and a beach towel since she didnt bring one. We are on a tight budget and even this extra $100 bothered me since I also had to pay for food and snacks on top of it. No comment from the parents. All expense paid trip for their kid.

Well, I guess you know this now, but next time tell the parents clearly: "Larla expressed interest in coming to our beach house and we'd love to have her. Please have her bring sunscreen, a few swimsuits, and some extra spending money for the amusement park and the planned outing X, $X should cover it.)"

[Anonymous]

No. If you invite the kid, you're paying for the lunch and snacks, etc.

The only thing is if there is a price of admission, like a lift ticket if youre bringing the kids skiing, or admission to the amusement park. The other parent buys that for their own kid.

But the hot dog and soda for lunch? You invited the kid. Don't make the kid pay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

In general, I agree with you. I will say though, that with prices rising so much, it is getting hard to treat.

I agree. Things are so expensive right now and I try not to assume that everyone can cover the cost of an outing. I always offer to pay (generally I use venmo instead of cash.) Sometimes people take me up on it, and sometimes not.

I took my daughter and a friend to the minions movie last week and after tickets, snacks, and parking I'm sure I spent over 100$. The mom offered to pay and since the girls hang out a lot I said it's ok, and it will even out. But I really appreciated that she asked. You never know what someone's financial situation is. And those situations can change quickly.

But if you can’t afford it (which is fine!) you either shouldn’t invite a kid on the outing or you should frame it as we are going if you’d like we can take Susie tickets are $x and here’s a link. There are tons of free and cheaper options so why plan and orchestrate an expensive one if you’re not 100% fine with the cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

Ugh, for an ice cream cone!!??!?

That's in poor taste.

Especially if it was a spur of the moment type of thing; just buy the kid a cone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but do any of you spend more than $20 PER kid at the zoo? It’s free. What am I missing? Bring water, some goldfish packs, and maybe spring for the carrousel OR an ice cream.

Lol. That was my gut reaction too.

Thats why we love the zoo. We try to get street parking. We pack water bottles and snacks.

The goal of the zoo is usually to spend ZERO money. And if the lines are long at the snack bar, sometimes we achieve that goal

[Anonymous]

If my child is invited to an activity that costs money I do not expect the other mom to pay. That's just weird. I also send along spending money. If its an impromptu outing and you pay for something for my child, I anticipate repaying in kind and treating your child next time.