PSA: when sending your kid with another parent to do an activity, please send more than $20.

[Anonymous]

While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.

PP again. This also depends on the family at times. If one family insisted on paying, I'll still offer and give $ to kids but next time I take theirs, I'll pay with no issue. If it's a family who mentioned funds, I will too when reciprocating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend who I watched once a week all summer. Her mother gave her money and the little girl just kept it. Was hard not to get annoyed.

Oh now this is different. That would be tricky. I guess you’d have to ask the mom/dad directly for spending money.

[Anonymous]

I expect to pay for kids when I invite them along. However, we also plan for things, like getting another membership for the bff who comes with us at least once per week.

[Anonymous]

$20 is plenty for food. If you don’t plan to pay, don’t invite. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I get the "if you invite, you pay" crowd, I don't think OP is being cheap. If we invite kids' friends to local pool, movie, skating, etc, we usually pay for entrance and food. Something like a water park though costs much more and if a kid really wanted to invite a friend, I may be up front and say something like "tix are X amount and we'll cover food!" Never been an issue.

That is because you are upfront with your expectation. Op expects parents to mind-read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now you know that next time you need to clearly state the expectations for an outing.

Easy to do over text-- Hey there! Just a reminder we'll pick up X at 9. If you send along $40, that should cover food and a couple games.

Maybe your invitation implied you were covering the costs and the $20 was just extra spending money if the kid wanted some candy or light-up crap.

$40 for the zoo?

[Anonymous]

$20 is standard in our middle school group, but usually the kids come home with the money unless they bought extra snacks or whatever. I realize we are fortunate not to have to sweat the extra $$.

[Anonymous]

Op you in this area in every group/school/neighborhood that I’ve been a part of the norm is the parents pay for the guest child or make it clear up front-“we’re going to splash down and we’d be happy to bring Johnny if he’s free-admission is 15 dollars and lunch is usually another 10.” (And that second option is absolutely fine!) It would be really weird in my circle for a 9 year to think we’re going Dutch without it being clear from the outset.

For older kids when the parents are just a taxi service and the kids are making plans the kids just pay for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I say “can we buy the ticket online?” and they either say yes or don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I ask to be sure. Usually before the excursion, but I ask again after if it seems appropriate. You sort of feel it out. And certainly if my kid later shares tgey did extra I’ll ask. Most folks will say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

I say “can we buy the ticket online?” and they either say yes or don’t worry about it.

Perfection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who assume they are paying for the invited child, and also assume your invited child will be treated by the inviting family (both of which I agree with if the involved parties can afford it): if your child is treated, when they are dropped off do you ask the other parent how much you owe/offer to pay, or is it just assumed that the inviters pay?

It’s assumed the invitees pay for young children (unless they make it clear on invitation “tickets are $xyz” which would be completely fine.) I still send my child with money if they want to buy a snack or memento (but tell them only to use it if their friend us also buying something.)

[Anonymous]

If we invite a child to go somewhere with us, we pay. How rude of you, OP.