PSA: when sending your kid with another parent to do an activity, please send more than $20.

[Anonymous]

If you invite another kid on an outing you pay for it, including food. I don't understand why you would expect a child to give you cash.

[Anonymous]

PSA: If you're going to invite my kid for an activity and NOT pay for them, say that up front. Everyone I know pays for the child(ren) they have invited along. I'd rather know you're not going to do that and I'll pay, but what you're saying isn't the norm in my friend circle at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend who I watched once a week all summer. Her mother gave her money and the little girl just kept it. Was hard not to get annoyed.

Or, you could just solve your own problems. Sounds like you were babysitting the kid and thought you'd get compensated. You knew the kid was keeping the money but just let that happen? Own your own actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

Please review the difference between "any" and "half" and then try again. Thanks in advance.

DP. You said you "barely" had enough for canning. That sounds like you gave the friend almost no berries. If you let her have a few berries out of the many you needed for canning, I'm not exactly blown away by your amazing hospitality. Since this was a trip about you and your canning you should have left the friend at home because it doesn't sound like a fun activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD had a friend who I watched once a week all summer. Her mother gave her money and the little girl just kept it. Was hard not to get annoyed.

I'd have asked the kid. "Janie, did your mom give you money you're supposed to give me?" If I was positive I'd say "Janie, I think your mom gave you money you're supposed to give me. Can I have it now please?" and if the kid said the mom didn't or she lost it I'd say "Okay, we'll ask her when she picks you up." And then I'd ask the mom in front of the kid.

Really? I am the PP to which you are responding. I didn't know for sure the mom gave her money. Probably should have clarified that in the beginning of this 2 month arrangement. Didn't want to make it a thing. Ofc my DD's friend had expensive tastes. Oh well.

So you got annoyed about something you didn't actually know about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you invite another kid on an outing you pay for it, including food. I don't understand why you would expect a child to give you cash.

+1

And don't people reciprocate (bc, you know, that's what friends do) so it all sorta evens out.

[Anonymous]

Geez. If we allow my child to invite a friend, we are always prepared to pay for the friend. If the friend brings money and offers to pay, we sometimes accept if the activity is expensive (eg., we accepted money for admission to the Baltimore aquarium). Otherwise, we decline. If the child didn't offer, we would think nothing of it.

[Anonymous]

If there is an admission price you should pay it. $20 is for snacks only. Some of you must live in very low cost areas. Going to the movies now costs way more than $20.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think it depends. When my son was younger, we always expected to pay for invited friends. Now that he is 13, if his friends are over, and want to get food from a somewhat nicer place (e.g., ordering Indian vs. pizza), it can get rather expensive if we are expected to foot the bill - especially since he has two best friends, and they usually both come over together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think it depends. When my son was younger, we always expected to pay for invited friends. Now that he is 13, if his friends are over, and want to get food from a somewhat nicer place (e.g., ordering Indian vs. pizza), it can get rather expensive if we are expected to foot the bill - especially since he has two best friends, and they usually both come over together.

But doesn't your kid go over to their houses and get food? Presumably, they foit the bill just as you do .

Even-steven, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$20 is plenty for food. If you don’t plan to pay, don’t invite. Simple.

Maybe in 2000 but not 2022.

I chaperoned my kid's zoo trip and I couldn't believe all the kids who came with only $20 or even worse, just $10! To be fair, the school did not specify how much money would be needed. They just said an appropriate amount for lunch and drinks.

And let me say, it was a school rule that no backpacks, bag lunches, or reusable water bottles were allowed.

It was a very hot day the day we went. Gatorade was like $4.50 a bottle. I think water was around that price, too. Lunch at the cafe where my group was assigned was pretty expensive, too. A burger was like $8, fries $5, and a drink was $4. Some kids who had purchased a beverage earlier in the day didn't have enough money for more than another drink and some fries. I covered the meals and drinks for several kids in my group because I wasn't going to let them go hungry.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think it depends. When my son was younger, we always expected to pay for invited friends. Now that he is 13, if his friends are over, and want to get food from a somewhat nicer place (e.g., ordering Indian vs. pizza), it can get rather expensive if we are expected to foot the bill - especially since he has two best friends, and they usually both come over together.


But doesn't your kid go over to their houses and get food? Presumably, they foit the bill just as you do .

Even-steven, no?

No, but that reason is very particular to my son's friends' home situations and also my sons' food issues (he is both vegetarian and very picky). It might work for others, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$20 is plenty for food. If you don’t plan to pay, don’t invite. Simple.

Maybe in 2000 but not 2022.

I chaperoned my kid's zoo trip and I couldn't believe all the kids who came with only $20 or even worse, just $10! To be fair, the school did not specify how much money would be needed. They just said an appropriate amount for lunch and drinks.

And let me say, it was a school rule that no backpacks, bag lunches, or reusable water bottles were allowed.

It was a very hot day the day we went. Gatorade was like $4.50 a bottle. I think water was around that price, too. Lunch at the cafe where my group was assigned was pretty expensive, too. A burger was like $8, fries $5, and a drink was $4. Some kids who had purchased a beverage earlier in the day didn't have enough money for more than another drink and some fries. I covered the meals and drinks for several kids in my group because I wasn't going to let them go hungry.

The school dropped the ball here. A sack lunch is appropriate for a zoo field trip. The cafes are always very slow, I can't imagine how much time was wasted waiting for everyone to order and eat the food. Bad idea. What kind of school was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an example of where it helps to just be a gracious person and a good communicator

Nailed it. Either assume you're paying for the other kid, or communicate up front. This isn't hard.

I'm in the pay for the kid category - if I invite a friend it's because I'm planning to cover their costs.

[Anonymous]

You are petty OP. If you invite, you pay. If the invited kid takes "too much X", then be the adult. Redirect, order for them, separate your berries/food/snacks from the ones he/she is allowed to have or take home. This is a you issue.