My brother’s fiancé doesn’t want me in the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Op you are looking for something to be hurt over. I always thought the bride and groom each had people that were close to them and as the grooms sister I wouldn't assume I would be asked. I would assume she had a best friend/ sisters/ cousins that she had grown up with that she would want there and was close with.

Don't go looking for hurts, the world will provide enough real hurts for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

DP. Maybe you can't hold on to friends, but some of us can.

I’m calling BS, most people who are between the ages of 35-55 do not have a cadre of friends whom they have been friends with since their early 20s.

I realize that the typical DCUM poster considers her kids' friends' parents and her work colleagues to be her best "friends," but that doesn't apply to all of us.

Sure, but most people who are 45 are not still friends with the people they were tight with when they were 25.

That sounds like a you problem sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

She should include her future SIL because she’s her new family. I also thought it was a given.

Bring a groomsman is a cool idea!

No, that's not a given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

Because that’s not how it works. Op are you and your brother close? Can you or your mom say something to him?

Frankly I would be annoyed

OP here. My brother and I are very close. But no, I don’t want my mom or anyone to say anything. Let her have the bridesmaids she wants.

… but yeah, it’s weird.

I think it's weird that you want to be a bridesmaid. That is not typically the role of the sister of the groom. A woman's bridesmaids are typically her own family and friends. It's very weird that some of you think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I didn't include my DH's sister. She is a lot younger than me and we both only had one person each stand up for us - my husband chose a best man and I chose a maid of honor. We didn't want a big party. It's not about you, OP. You are much older and she probably felt she was doing you a favor to not have to plan so much stuff.

[Anonymous]

weddings are such BS...i wish i had spent the money on something else. obviously she's making the decisions and it's "her special day" barf so just go along with it.

[Anonymous]

I would be grateful.

[Anonymous]

If your brother wanted you in the wedding, you’d be standing up with him.

Why would you expect this from her? She’s known her family and closest friends for many years. You two are not best friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she young? Like a Gen Z young?

Young people are stupid about stuff like this. Their best and dearest friends at 25 may well be long gone and forgotten by the time they’re 40. But the SIL will be there.

It’s a slight, OP, but try not to take it personally.

It’s not a slight caused by SIL-to-be. If there is any “slight” it’s because OP’s brother didn’t ask OP to stand up with him—you know, actual flesh and blood they’ve known all of each other’s lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

Because that’s not how it works. Op are you and your brother close? Can you or your mom say something to him?

Frankly I would be annoyed

Hello, Hester! It’s nice of you to join us in 2022. Wow, that ride on the time machine from the 1930s must have been scary for you! These days, women do, in fact, stand up with male relatives and friends. Enjoy your stay! When you go back, try to kill Hitler, OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s 24 and I’m 35 so maybe it is the age thing.

Thanks, guys. I feel better knowing it’s both weird and okay. We

Oh my goodness, no young bride wants an old maid. You aren’t peers, you aren’t close. If you want to be mad, be mad at your brother. Maybe you’ll be relegated to a reading or something. You sound like a PITA, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

+1. So true. If it weren’t for social media, I would know where half of my wedding party was. My SIL? I see her at every holiday, birthday, and funeral. Our daughters are in the same grade in the same school and best friends. I’m glad my SIL is in my wedding pictures.

My SIL is in a lot of my wedding pictures, and she did a reading, she did not stand up with me or my husband. Did you have a piss-poor photographer or wedding coordinator? We had lots of posed family shots built into our shot list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

+1. So true. If it weren’t for social media, I would know where half of my wedding party was. My SIL? I see her at every holiday, birthday, and funeral. Our daughters are in the same grade in the same school and best friends. I’m glad my SIL is in my wedding pictures.

NP- I talk to all five of my bridesmaids almost every day, certainly at least once a week. I see my SIL once every few years. People have different situations. There is no right or wrong answer.

Hmmm…. There kind of is one right answer - OP, as the only sister on either side should be included.

Nope! Bride and groom get who they want in their wedding party. Grow up and get with the times. If it was so important, OP’s brother would have included her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has no siblings. Maybe she doesn't want the bridal party to seem lopsided to his side of the family.

According to OP there is one brother and one sister (OP). That could never be described as lopsided.

And who the eff cares about the bride and who’s important to her, right?

I would hope her future husband’s family is important to her!!!

If husband’s family was so important, OP’s brother would have included her to stand by his side or do a reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who says that the only sister of the groom not being included is fine has no sense of care at all. Especially given that the only brother is included.

Getting married is about the bride and groom and bringing two families together.

Does no one teach decency any more. And no I'm not a grandma.

If it was important to groom to include his sister, he would have asked her to stand up with him or do a reading. Point blank period.