My brother’s fiancé doesn’t want me in the wedding.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She’s 24 and I’m 35 so maybe it is the age thing.

Thanks, guys. I feel better knowing it’s both weird and okay. We

[Anonymous]

My brother is going to be engaged shortly and we’re very close. I’m 5 years older than him, with two children, and 7 years older than his girlfriend. I hope to god she doesn’t make me a bridesmaid, and just has me walk down the aisle and take a seat. We are very friendly, I love her for my brother, but we just don’t have that relationship I’m sure she has with her close girlfriends or other family (she doesn’t have sisters). I just don’t have time for all that bridesmaid stuff right now. I would be miffed if they opt out of a flower girl/ring boy bc I would want my kids to do that once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

Because that’s not how it works. Op are you and your brother close? Can you or your mom say something to him?

Frankly I would be annoyed

OP here. My brother and I are very close. But no, I don’t want my mom or anyone to say anything. Let her have the bridesmaids she wants.

… but yeah, it’s weird.

It’s not that weird. I know brides who’ve left out in-laws. Feel relieved that you can wear what you want and don’t have to do as much. This is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother is going to be engaged shortly and we’re very close. I’m 5 years older than him, with two children, and 7 years older than his girlfriend. I hope to god she doesn’t make me a bridesmaid, and just has me walk down the aisle and take a seat. We are very friendly, I love her for my brother, but we just don’t have that relationship I’m sure she has with her close girlfriends or other family (she doesn’t have sisters). I just don’t have time for all that bridesmaid stuff right now. I would be miffed if they opt out of a flower girl/ring boy bc I would want my kids to do that once.

Miffed? Grow up. Your brother's wedding is about him -- not your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She’s 24 and I’m 35 so maybe it is the age thing.

Thanks, guys. I feel better knowing it’s both weird and okay. We

Oh you are 35? She probably figures you’d rather not do it and most 35 year old women would say that’s correct. Don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t include either my future sil or my sister. I just had one attendant. I wouldn’t consider it a slight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

DP. Maybe you can't hold on to friends, but some of us can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

Or her best friend that she’s know since grade school and will still be friends with when they’re 70.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

Or her best friend that she’s know since grade school and will still be friends with when they’re 70.

Unless they are each only having 1 attendant this argument doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

In a word, yes. It’s old school etiquette but the sister of the groom should always be included. Yes, she should bump one of her best friends to have her future sister-in-law in the wedding party.

That said, I went to all girls schools and an all women’s college. I have two sisters and two close cousins. I have been a bridesmaid 16 times and maid of honor four times. I’m exhausted from wedding inclusion. When my best friend got married a few months ago she had four of her sisters and she asked how I felt if I wasp’s bridesmaid. I kissed her and said thank you!

Be glad you’re out, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

DP. Maybe you can't hold on to friends, but some of us can.

Few of you did according to DCUM. I think the thread was titled “are you still in contact with your bridesmaids”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

Or her best friend that she’s know since grade school and will still be friends with when they’re 70.

Unless they are each only having 1 attendant this argument doesn’t work.

OP ignored the question about how many attendants they’re having. If each is having two and she’s chosen her own sister and her best friend, I won’t fault her for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she should bump one of her best friends from the wedding to fit you into a limited number of attendants? If this was so important to your brother, he could have included you in some other way.

Yeah, one of her best friends at age 24 that she won’t speak to by the time she’s 35. 🙄 This a life lesson for this bride. Your spouse to be has 1 sibling, you include that person in the wedding, because if you are lucky that person will be in your life forever, as opposed to the fleeting friendships of your early 20s.

DP. Maybe you can't hold on to friends, but some of us can.

I’m calling BS, most people who are between the ages of 35-55 do not have a cadre of friends whom they have been friends with since their early 20s.