Did you DH take his paternity leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG it’s clear like 99% of commenters here have NO IDEA how paternity works and no experience w it.

Let’s be clear, it’s not allowed for mom AND dad to take leave at the same time unless mom is recovering (as in the first week or two or C-section). Otherwise you can’t both take 12 weeks (or whatever) at the same time bc the requirement is only one primary caregiver at a time!!!

So, the whole idea for folks like me whose spouse DID take paternity is to have them back to back to extend the time an infant is with a parent and to give Dad one-on-one time which is an absolute game changer for 1) level of bonding, 2) dads getting confidence to challenge moms on parenting decisions, 3) avoiding default parenting on mom, 4) mom not worrying who is with baby on her first weeks/months back at work (so helpful for your mental state), and 5) sharing the “hit” to a career that is taking parental leave for either parent.

I don’t think any Dad has to take paternity to set an example. That’s pretentious BS. If your wife doesn't work, or doesn’t have a good job, then you have no justification for taking the time off from work to be the primary care giver. Is the mom going back to work earlier than she wants just so dad can take over to prove a point to the other guys at work!?! No, she’s only going back to work bc of her economic value to the family unit and she either does or doesn’t have that.

What are you even talking about? I don’t think YOU know how this works. Parental leave is for 8 weeks regardless of gender at my company; mothers who give birth have an extra 6-8 weeks for short term disability. Of course you can take it at the same time. Do you work for a government agency with some weird requirements? In the private sector, this is company dictated and they generally don’t ask for proof or care. The point is bonding.

It’s not pretentious at all - it’s real. If your boss or others in the department/team don’t take their paternity leaves, other men are less likely to take leaves even if needed or wanted for fear of negative impact to their careers.

Yea, the PP has no idea what they’re talking about. I’m guessing they work for a company with very outdated leave policies, companies have been sued for offering different leave for primary/non primary caregivers.

What I don’t understand is why so many people have a big hard-on for making sure employer’s don’t have to deal with the temporary inconvenience, rather than prioritizing families and children’s well-being. Most people work for corporate or government entities that will be absolutely fine with a man being absent for 12 weeks.

Very sad that as a country, our priority is corporate productivity rather than parenting. Totally blows my mind these people would rather be back at work making other people rich rather than being with their family.