Who do men who make 5 figures marry?

[Anonymous]

Lots of trust funders happily making 5 figures.

[Anonymous]

OP. How old are you? 30's? 40's? 50's?

[Anonymous]

Modern worn who are high earners often doesn’t care about men’s income, some prefer ideological and content men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of trust funders happily making 5 figures.

Many people go for jobs they like or see potential in, immediately making money isn’t needed if you don’t have debt or family responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

25 years ago I was a 30 year old husband with a PhD, a house inside the Beltway, and 2 cars, and I did it on a $35,000 a year salary. Wife did not work.

[Anonymous]

Many rich women marry their fitness trainers and yoga instructors. Heck, Bezzo wife married a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually, women who make five figures. Typically lots of teacher/teacher, non-profit/non-profit couples. They either find happiness in communities of like minded peers (south arlington of the early 2000's comes to mind), get funded by their parents, or get divorced because having kids at that income is too stressful.

It's easy to "not care" about money Before you have kids. It's a much trickier proposition after.

Millions of people raise kids with that income, without parental funding or being on the path to divorce. Even right here in DC/MD/VA. It's called a budget.

- middle income, not living in a (poor) community

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was laid off and making $0 when I met my wife. She was making about $400k per year at that time. I was 29 and she was 28. I was starting grad school. She was crazy hot - like super athletic and tan. This last week was our 19th anniversary and we’ve accomplished a lot together. We’re both from modest backgrounds and put ourselves through school. We have a wonderful kid, own 8 homes and have built a solid financial base.

Sometimes marrying the guy you love who doesn’t make a lot works out.

Starting grad school is rarely the sign of someone who can't make money. I feel like a lot is missing from this post. What did you make after grad school?

Well, I was going to grad school at a 2nd tier state school. I made 90ish right after but then started working my way up. About 300k + equity, now. She’s always out earned me (even now) by 2-3x.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

Not judging.

Just trying to understand the mindset of those types of women.

I'm the first PP. We're normal.
FTR, kids are grown and in college.

Making 5 figures when houses even in DC were only $200k is a totally different animal.

Yeah. You should definitely base your relationship decisions on the real estate market.

[Anonymous]

All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

I honestly never thought about this. I dated men who (I'm guessing based on their jobs and what I now understand about salaries) made anywhere from 50k to 250k in my 20s. I knew which ones made more money (the lawyers) and which made less (the academics). I noticed the difference in dating a guy with more disposable income (nicer apartment, sometimes he owned it, we went to nicer restaurants, often his clothes were better) and someone who made less (had roommates, we'd hang out at bars and go for burgers, likely dressed down more but not necessarily worse). It was truly not a major factor for me, and I wound up marrying one of the guys in jeans and a t-shirt who liked to hit up taco trucks and bars instead of a fancy restaurant. He didn't have roommates but lived way out in the burbs to save money. But then we moved in together in a place in the city and it no longer mattered (plus got me out of my apartment with a roommate). I think he made around 65k when we moved in together, now makes just shy of 100k. My salary has been pretty similar, though started higher and has stagnated lower, due to having a kid and taking some time off.

I have zero regrets about this. Those guys with higher paying jobs? Some were fine but there wasn't much spark, some were jerks. While I enjoy a nice meal at a restaurant now and then, I would actually prefer to have a beer at a dive most of the time. My DH is frugal and a good saver despite making a relatively low salary for this area, and we've never felt like we didn't have enough. We own a home together, have a kid. Sometimes we wish we had more money to travel or could afford to move to a nicer neighborhood. But that's about it, and we recognize that the problem with chasing those dreams is that there will always be something that costs a little more than you have, no matter how rich you are. Accepting that some things are out of budget is just part of life.

I think if I'd made a "six figure salary" a priority in my 20s, in particular, I would have made some bad relationship choices. I think it's one thing to want a partner with a stable job and financial smarts (which were boxes my DH definitely checked) but there's no way I would have found a better partner for me if I'd rejected him in favor of some guy making 101k at the time. My DH was and is a catch. Plenty of men with higher salaries are very obviously not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people in my parents area are like this. They have a stay at home spouse or she also makes $50k (or less). They live in cheap housing, maybe a double wide, use public school and Maine’s state health care. They supplement with income from plowing drive ways or summer tourist related jobs or hunting their own meat. They don’t worry about dental care.

Love the idea that anyone making less than six figures has to live in a trailer, hunt, and doesn't visit the dentist. This thread is so out of touch it's amazing.

[Anonymous]

Some people make 5 figures and are worth much more with their investments and savings. There was a janitor who made like 30k a year and he was a multimillionaire by the time he was 45 because he invested his money into great stock picks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in

I honestly never thought about this. I dated men who (I'm guessing based on their jobs and what I now understand about salaries) made anywhere from 50k to 250k in my 20s. I knew which ones made more money (the lawyers) and which made less (the academics). I noticed the difference in dating a guy with more disposable income (nicer apartment, sometimes he owned it, we went to nicer restaurants, often his clothes were better) and someone who made less (had roommates, we'd hang out at bars and go for burgers, likely dressed down more but not necessarily worse). It was truly not a major factor for me, and I wound up marrying one of the guys in jeans and a t-shirt who liked to hit up taco trucks and bars instead of a fancy restaurant. He didn't have roommates but lived way out in the burbs to save money. But then we moved in together in a place in the city and it no longer mattered (plus got me out of my apartment with a roommate). I think he made around 65k when we moved in together, now makes just shy of 100k. My salary has been pretty similar, though started higher and has stagnated lower, due to having a kid and taking some time off.

I have zero regrets about this. Those guys with higher paying jobs? Some were fine but there wasn't much spark, some were jerks. While I enjoy a nice meal at a restaurant now and then, I would actually prefer to have a beer at a dive most of the time. My DH is frugal and a good saver despite making a relatively low salary for this area, and we've never felt like we didn't have enough. We own a home together, have a kid. Sometimes we wish we had more money to travel or could afford to move to a nicer neighborhood. But that's about it, and we recognize that the problem with chasing those dreams is that there will always be something that costs a little more than you have, no matter how rich you are. Accepting that some things are out of budget is just part of life.

I think if I'd made a "six figure salary" a priority in my 20s, in particular, I would have made some bad relationship choices. I think it's one thing to want a partner with a stable job and financial smarts (which were boxes my DH definitely checked) but there's no way I would have found a better partner for me if I'd rejected him in favor of some guy making 101k at the time. My DH was and is a catch. Plenty of men with higher salaries are very obviously not.

I never thought about this either, but i think if I'd known just how unimportant money is to my DH, and that he'd be satisfied with a $60k dream job for life, I would have made different choices about my OWN career. I already feel like I had to choose supporting the family over what I wanted to do a couple major times, but maybe I should have more aggressively pursued a higher income rather than the more stable fed route.

(PS despite what you all think, men in these jobs are not all trust fund babies! He grew up LMC. Always had food and shelter but is just not materialistic, and doesn't value things like a house with a bedroom for each kid, or even a yard and off street parking because he didn't grow up with them.)

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends, you may prefer an intelligent, kind and interesting person more than a high earning dud.