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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Who do men who make 5 figures marry?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All women want to marry a man making at least 6 figures but ideally 7+. Problem is that isn’t most men. But most women in their 20s will at least try- until reality sets in[/quote] I honestly never thought about this. I dated men who (I'm guessing based on their jobs and what I now understand about salaries) made anywhere from 50k to 250k in my 20s. I knew which ones made more money (the lawyers) and which made less (the academics). I noticed the difference in dating a guy with more disposable income (nicer apartment, sometimes he owned it, we went to nicer restaurants, often his clothes were better) and someone who made less (had roommates, we'd hang out at bars and go for burgers, likely dressed down more but not necessarily worse). It was truly not a major factor for me, and I wound up marrying one of the guys in jeans and a t-shirt who liked to hit up taco trucks and bars instead of a fancy restaurant. He didn't have roommates but lived way out in the burbs to save money. But then we moved in together in a place in the city and it no longer mattered (plus got me out of my apartment with a roommate). I think he made around 65k when we moved in together, now makes just shy of 100k. My salary has been pretty similar, though started higher and has stagnated lower, due to having a kid and taking some time off. I have zero regrets about this. Those guys with higher paying jobs? Some were fine but there wasn't much spark, some were jerks. While I enjoy a nice meal at a restaurant now and then, I would actually prefer to have a beer at a dive most of the time. My DH is frugal and a good saver despite making a relatively low salary for this area, and we've never felt like we didn't have enough. We own a home together, have a kid. Sometimes we wish we had more money to travel or could afford to move to a nicer neighborhood. But that's about it, and we recognize that the problem with chasing those dreams is that there will always be something that costs a little more than you have, no matter how rich you are. Accepting that some things are out of budget is just part of life. I think if I'd made a "six figure salary" a priority in my 20s, in particular, I would have made some bad relationship choices. I think it's one thing to want a partner with a stable job and financial smarts (which were boxes my DH definitely checked) but there's no way I would have found a better partner for me if I'd rejected him in favor of some guy making 101k at the time. My DH was and is a catch. Plenty of men with higher salaries are very obviously not.[/quote] I never thought about this either, but i think if I'd known just how unimportant money is to my DH, and that he'd be satisfied with a $60k dream job for life, I would have made different choices about my OWN career. I already feel like I had to choose supporting the family over what I wanted to do a couple major times, but maybe I should have more aggressively pursued a higher income rather than the more stable fed route. (PS despite what you all think, men in these jobs are not all trust fund babies! He grew up LMC. Always had food and shelter but is just not materialistic, and doesn't value things like a house with a bedroom for each kid, or even a yard and off street parking because he didn't grow up with them.) [/quote]
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