College results broke my heart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

Agree 100%

We don’t need our children developing lone wolf, rugged individualist type characteristics in their formative years.

College is a time of open mindedness and a chance at communal living and communal thinking. Sending your babies hundreds, or thousands, of miles away to fend for themselves only results in the creation of future conservatives.

Keep your babies close, let them form a tribe to depend on outside your family as well, but don’t subject them to harsh realities at age 18. It does society no good at all

I’d be willing to bet your 18 yr old “babies” will never be ready to function on their own. So you’re in luck.

I’m the one who originally wrote that sending kids too far away causes “rugged individualism.” And I do believe that and don’t get the whole “don’t come home before thanksgiving thing” since most kids don’t go far away anyway.

But I think the “communal thinking” poster is a troll!

"Don't come home before thanksgiving" is a real thing. If you want your kid to get settled at school, make friends, and learn to adjust to new situations. It's hard to make friends if you are going home most weekends and everyone else remains on campus. At college, weekends are where more of the socialization happens. For some, the goal is to keep their kid near home forever, for others the goal is to have our kids flourish and grow into independent adults who make their own choices. If a kid moves away, that's just an excuse for me to visit a new area several times per year

DP Agree.

Our DC is choosing between several schools and we are encouraging them not to go to the local state school, even though it's cheaper. DC is not a social butterfly, will hang out in room all weekend, and needs to experience living with others and hanging out and being forced to socialize. Not sure what we will do if they do choose the local option. We will have to set boundaries about when they can come home. Not every weekend.

NP. This is an appalling attitude. My kids are welcome to come whenever they want/need to. I can’t imagine needing to come home and having my parents tell me I am not welcome or wanted - “for my own good.” Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Our dd goes to college 4 hrs from us. She has also spent many of her breaks on trips all over the USA. She plans to do a semester abroad. We are excited for her and know she is going to do great. BUT when we got a phone call last night that she had been injured in club sport ihave never been more grateful that we could get in the car and be at her side in just 4 hours.

Exactly!!!!! Some schools are in the middle of nowhere though very well ranked. But I can’t tell DC to choose based on my own fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Our dd goes to college 4 hrs from us. She has also spent many of her breaks on trips all over the USA. She plans to do a semester abroad. We are excited for her and know she is going to do great. BUT when we got a phone call last night that she had been injured in club sport ihave never been more grateful that we could get in the car and be at her side in just 4 hours.

Exactly!!!!! Some schools are in the middle of nowhere though very well ranked. But I can’t tell DC to choose based on my own fear.

However, you can explain and make sure DC understands what it's like to be in the middle of nowhere. For us, I explained that if a school is 2-3 hours from an airport (thinking of Bucknell) and it would then then involve 2 flights to get home, that a trip home means a 12+ hour day and if flight back to college gets in after normal shuttle services are running, it means a very expensive uber trip (and not sure I'd want my DC in an Uber for 2 hours alone). That means you can't really come home for a 4 day weekend for fall break or 4 day thanksgiving. So not saying No to colleges like that, but DC has to understand the implications/reality of that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Our dd goes to college 4 hrs from us. She has also spent many of her breaks on trips all over the USA. She plans to do a semester abroad. We are excited for her and know she is going to do great. BUT when we got a phone call last night that she had been injured in club sport ihave never been more grateful that we could get in the car and be at her side in just 4 hours.

Exactly!!!!! Some schools are in the middle of nowhere though very well ranked. But I can’t tell DC to choose based on my own fear.

However, you can explain and make sure DC understands what it's like to be in the middle of nowhere. For us, I explained that if a school is 2-3 hours from an airport (thinking of Bucknell) and it would then then involve 2 flights to get home, that a trip home means a 12+ hour day and if flight back to college gets in after normal shuttle services are running, it means a very expensive uber trip (and not sure I'd want my DC in an Uber for 2 hours alone). That means you can't really come home for a 4 day weekend for fall break or 4 day thanksgiving. So not saying No to colleges like that, but DC has to understand the implications/reality of that choice.

There’s the Harrisburg Airport near Bucknell, sort of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

Seriously so happy you clarified. I came to the east coast for college, knew NO ONE, had no network, and though I started out strong I crumbled, Foundered and fell into a clinical depression. And I was a student with the means to fly home often and family that visited me. I hope my kids go to school nearby!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Our dd goes to college 4 hrs from us. She has also spent many of her breaks on trips all over the USA. She plans to do a semester abroad. We are excited for her and know she is going to do great. BUT when we got a phone call last night that she had been injured in club sport ihave never been more grateful that we could get in the car and be at her side in just 4 hours.

Exactly!!!!! Some schools are in the middle of nowhere though very well ranked. But I can’t tell DC to choose based on my own fear.

However, you can explain and make sure DC understands what it's like to be in the middle of nowhere. For us, I explained that if a school is 2-3 hours from an airport (thinking of Bucknell) and it would then then involve 2 flights to get home, that a trip home means a 12+ hour day and if flight back to college gets in after normal shuttle services are running, it means a very expensive uber trip (and not sure I'd want my DC in an Uber for 2 hours alone). That means you can't really come home for a 4 day weekend for fall break or 4 day thanksgiving. So not saying No to colleges like that, but DC has to understand the implications/reality of that choice.

There’s the Harrisburg Airport near Bucknell, sort of.

It's over 60 miles to the Harrisburg airport, so still a 60-90 min shuttle/uber/lyft, and then would be 2 flights to get to our area. So, it would be 9-12 hours from when first flight takes off until 2nd flight lands for my DC (depending upon the flight options), add in the transport to airport and getting there 90 mins early and it's easily 11-14 hours from when my DC would need to leave a dorm until their flight touches down in our home city. So just something to consider if considering a more rural school. So unfortunately this would mean that a 4 day thanksgiving would be almost pointless and way too stressful. DC needs to be aware that this isn't just a 20 min uber to airport and then hop on a 6 hour flight home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Our dd goes to college 4 hrs from us. She has also spent many of her breaks on trips all over the USA. She plans to do a semester abroad. We are excited for her and know she is going to do great. BUT when we got a phone call last night that she had been injured in club sport ihave never been more grateful that we could get in the car and be at her side in just 4 hours.

Exactly!!!!! Some schools are in the middle of nowhere though very well ranked. But I can’t tell DC to choose based on my own fear.

However, you can explain and make sure DC understands what it's like to be in the middle of nowhere. For us, I explained that if a school is 2-3 hours from an airport (thinking of Bucknell) and it would then then involve 2 flights to get home, that a trip home means a 12+ hour day and if flight back to college gets in after normal shuttle services are running, it means a very expensive uber trip (and not sure I'd want my DC in an Uber for 2 hours alone). That means you can't really come home for a 4 day weekend for fall break or 4 day thanksgiving. So not saying No to colleges like that, but DC has to understand the implications/reality of that choice.

There’s the Harrisburg Airport near Bucknell, sort of.

It's over 60 miles to the Harrisburg airport, so still a 60-90 min shuttle/uber/lyft, and then would be 2 flights to get to our area. So, it would be 9-12 hours from when first flight takes off until 2nd flight lands for my DC (depending upon the flight options), add in the transport to airport and getting there 90 mins early and it's easily 11-14 hours from when my DC would need to leave a dorm until their flight touches down in our home city. So just something to consider if considering a more rural school. So unfortunately this would mean that a 4 day thanksgiving would be almost pointless and way too stressful. DC needs to be aware that this isn't just a 20 min uber to airport and then hop on a 6 hour flight home.

Yeah, that is definitely long. I know there’s a bus station in Selinsgrove (20 min from Bucknell) that has Greyhound buses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange thread.

+1 So much virtue signaling.

[Anonymous]

My two both went to schools 3 hours away. One never came home except for breaks gad a great time matured and now lives and works in a big city.
The other also three hours away but had many health problems during college. We were there a lot. DC was in the hospital there. We were glad we could at least drive there. DC ok for now but glad not too many airline miles away. People are different.

[Anonymous]

I went 1000 miles away went home twice in 4 years it was best thing for me