College results broke my heart

[Anonymous]

OP, I've heard this from parents ... they have kids who stayed local and I parents never get to see them! THAT has got to hurt. That would hurt a lot more!

Btw, if your kid is very far -- there are planes That'll get you there faster! Learn their area. Have fun experiences in that area of the country. Consider it personal growth for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

I’m not sure you know what the words you’re using mean. What does distance to college have to do with either secularism or materialism?

And what does materialism have to do with secularism? In the US, white, UMC religious people tend to be extremely materialistic - their churches tell them that God has blessed them with wealth because he approves of them. In my experience, secular people tend to be less materialistic and more focused of family and the good of the planet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

Are you high?

[Anonymous]

OP I think what you're experiencing is normal for this time period. Our ds is close (in-state) but a year ago I felt like it might as well be the moon. I was distraught when we took him, but quicky realized when he was happy, so was I. Sometimes...I'll say it...I wish he was farther away. And that maybe we've made some mistakes by the ease of which he is close and how often we've seen him.
Most kids will be just fine, and it will be easier than you imagine. Not *easy*, but easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

Are you high?

NP. Nobody else saw the secular and materialistic post as pure sarcasm? I am sure that is some great snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

I’m not sure you know what the words you’re using mean. What does distance to college have to do with either secularism or materialism?

And what does materialism have to do with secularism? In the US, white, UMC religious people tend to be extremely materialistic - their churches tell them that God has blessed them with wealth because he approves of them. In my experience, secular people tend to be less materialistic and more focused of family and the good of the planet.

I'm very critical of the so-called "prosperity gospel" as well. But your implication that this is somehow the norm for white, UMC religious people is ridiculous. There are LOTS and LOTS of churches -- including those that may be theologically conservative -- with white, UMC congregations that absolutely reject such teaching.

[Anonymous]

Covid makes a difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

Dp, odd point. I know immigrants are homesick and can be terribly lonely. It really cannot be remotely compared to going to college in your same country.

What about immigrants who come from another country to improve their lives and their families' lives? Or are they just too Brown and godless for us to care about them?

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you buy a condo in the town your DS is going to college? That way you could spend significantly more time in the same area as your kid.

[Anonymous]

oh dear
don't need to do that

[Anonymous]

But are they really “further” away?

there’s a break even point. Driving 5 hours = flying 5 hours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you buy a condo in the town your DS is going to college? That way you could spend significantly more time in the same area as your kid.

You’re nuts. I just find attitudes like yours so odd. What about nieces, cousins, family friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t really matter how far away they are. Even if they were close you should only be seeing them for major holidays and long breaks.

+1

Then let me blow both of your minds:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kateashford/2014/08/08/millenials-living-at-home/?sh=63f097ea5171

54% of college students live at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, to put things in perspective, I went to university 500+ miles away from my home in the '80s and was only able to communicate with my parents by letter or a once-a-week long distance call (it was too expensive to call more often) from the common use phones in the dorm. Much easier now to stay connected -- perhaps too easy?

Nope. I actually believe that what you’re describing is a major cause of mental illness among college students who have it.

PP here. By that I mean I think going 500+ miles away from college is a very bad idea for most kids, contributing to anxiety, rugged individualism and loneliness. Life is short and young adults should spend time with their families.

I couldn’t disagree more.

Soon we’ll realize that this materialistic, secular pursuit of far-flung colleges was a mistake.

Secular? What now? What does religion have to do with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But are they really “further” away?

there’s a break even point. Driving 5 hours = flying 5 hours

Disagree. You can jump in the car with no pre-planning, and little expense.

Plus you there are hours used up in advance of any flight at the airport, so it takes more than 5 hours. And bringing stuff to school is much more challenging and expensive (than loading up the car).