Fraternity/Sorority Selection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really struggling with that in this thread. Everyone is talking about the high tier houses and competitiveness to get into those, but no one is saying that fun can be had in lower tiers. Anyway, here I am saying it. There ARE houses with normal kids, smart kids, accomplished kids, non douchey kids, who firmly believe in not hazing someone who could be their brother or sister. I do agree that those higher tier houses are where you see the most issues, so I'm trying to show OP that you do not need to focus on those.

No fun can be had in sororities desperate for members, which are often lower tier. Too disorganized a robbing for beach week and funds. To busy trying to get enough members for any fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I had not realized was at least at our DS’s school, after rushing and selecting a frat, there is a pledge period (I think 4-8 weeks) where they do challenges and get to know everyone before becoming full members. It’s a big time commitment.

That’s an interesting way to say “binge drink and get hazed.” Or don’t the kids do that anymore? That’s what it was when I went through it.

"attitude adjustment" at my Uni.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I had not realized was at least at our DS’s school, after rushing and selecting a frat, there is a pledge period (I think 4-8 weeks) where they do challenges and get to know everyone before becoming full members. It’s a big time commitment.

That’s an interesting way to say “binge drink and get hazed.” Or don’t the kids do that anymore? That’s what it was when I went through it.

Yep, kids still doing it. Kids still dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boys have it easy. Very laid back recruitment. Girls are a whole different world.

I was in a sorority and it was pretty laid back as well m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

This is total B.S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GET SOME SPERRY'S AND VINEYARD VINES FOR RUSH

No where to be seen when my DC rushed. What the h l are you talking about?

Frat guys and sorority girls weren’t particularly preppy at my school, despite popular stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

This is total B.S.

Even at my school girls were woken up way early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

This is total B.S.

Even at my school girls were woken up way early.

NP, I never was and neither is my DD who is deep into pledging right now. She has had nothing but fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am really struggling with that in this thread. Everyone is talking about the high tier houses and competitiveness to get into those, but no one is saying that fun can be had in lower tiers. Anyway, here I am saying it. There ARE houses with normal kids, smart kids, accomplished kids, non douchey kids, who firmly believe in not hazing someone who could be their brother or sister. I do agree that those higher tier houses are where you see the most issues, so I'm trying to show OP that you do not need to focus on those.

No fun can be had in sororities desperate for members, which are often lower tier. Too disorganized a robbing for beach week and funds. To busy trying to get enough members for any fun.

Shows that you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not talking about the bottom house that doesn’t fill. mid tiers are where the fun is. Yeah the bottom house is not fun but you don’t have to be the top to have an awesome experience.

I love how you say only top tiers have fun while also saying it was a terrible experience.

[Anonymous]

The net net is that your experience varies by house and school. The one house mentioned on this thread by a poster is well known for rushing based on looks and initiating with a week to prevent them from dropping when they get to see how toxic the “sisterhood” is.

I think we’ve answered the OPs question at this point lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

This is total B.S.

Wrong. So many thoughtless, insensitive sorority defenders on this thread proving the point that it’s often a cruel system.

It is true for a majority of girls EVEN if they’re happy at the end of the week. It’s fun on the outside and hell on the inside. And you can’t compare a NE SLAC rush with an SEC rush. Stop thinking emotional abuse is limited to name-calling. It’s a horrendous system that treats 17-18 year olds like crap. It doesn’t have to be this way but some schools choose for to be this way.

Parents: when a school does rush the week before freshman year classes start, this is a RED FLAG. They are more interested in appeasing the Greek alums’ obsession hierarchy and tradition than they are in students mental health and college adjustment. The most humane rush happens before second semester. Let them adjust to their new life and get to know the school before they feed them through the meat grinder of rush.

Notice how callous the defenders here have been and proceed with caution.

[Anonymous]

After reading this thread, I'm more convinced than ever that the Greek system is something to avoid at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After reading this thread, I'm more convinced than ever that the Greek system is something to avoid at all costs.

Your kid will decide and not likely be reading this board. For some reason there are loud voices saying how awful sorority life is and no one is understanding that different schools and different houses have different experiences. I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general. Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts.

This is total B.S.

Wrong. So many thoughtless, insensitive sorority defenders on this thread proving the point that it’s often a cruel system.

It is true for a majority of girls EVEN if they’re happy at the end of the week. It’s fun on the outside and hell on the inside. And you can’t compare a NE SLAC rush with an SEC rush. Stop thinking emotional abuse is limited to name-calling. It’s a horrendous system that treats 17-18 year olds like crap. It doesn’t have to be this way but some schools choose for to be this way.

Parents: when a school does rush the week before freshman year classes start, this is a RED FLAG. They are more interested in appeasing the Greek alums’ obsession hierarchy and tradition than they are in students mental health and college adjustment. The most humane rush happens before second semester. Let them adjust to their new life and get to know the school before they feed them through the meat grinder of rush.

Notice how callous the defenders here have been and proceed with caution.

Do explain who is being callous? You have peppered this thread with your bad experiences and I do feel sorry for you but that is not every experience. Neither is every fraternity hazing, at least in such a way that the boys are in danger either mentally or physically. Again, i and my DD have had a great experience and my DS Is as well. Your generalizing and negativity is actually quite callous if I had to find some callous posts here. You are belittling others positive experiences and essentially calling them liars. I am sure you did have a bad experience but how rude to discount the entire system because of your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After reading this thread, I'm more convinced than ever that the Greek system is something to avoid at all costs.

Your kid will decide and not likely be reading this board. For some reason there are loud voices saying how awful sorority life is and no one is understanding that different schools and different houses have different experiences. I feel like I’m banging my head against the wall.

My kid will not be able to pledge unless we fund it. At any rate, DC has also heard terrible things about frats/sororities from older siblings and friends currently in college. I don't have to say a thing for DC to know how rotten to the core many are.