Is it evil stepmother behavior to sometimes buy fancy chocolate that’s mostly for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every mother should have a secret stash of her own chocolate that the vultures can’t get to. Your mistake was telling your DH you had it.

+1

I'll never tell a soul where my secret chocolate stash is, but I have one and no, I don't share. I'm allowed to have one thing that's solely for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every mother should have a secret stash of her own chocolate that the vultures can’t get to. Your mistake was telling your DH you had it.

+1

I'll never tell a soul where my secret chocolate stash is, but I have one and no, I don't share. I'm allowed to have one thing that's solely for me.

+2

There are things that are stashed away just for me and DH and there are things that are stashed away for just me. Don't ask, don't tell. No one's feeling are hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every mother should have a secret stash of her own chocolate that the vultures can’t get to. Your mistake was telling your DH you had it.

+1

I'll never tell a soul where my secret chocolate stash is, but I have one and no, I don't share. I'm allowed to have one thing that's solely for me.

+2

There are things that are stashed away just for me and DH and there are things that are stashed away for just me. Don't ask, don't tell. No one's feeling are hurt.

I'm the +1 PP (glad I'm not alone) and the point about stuff stashed away for me and DH is a good one. We have that, too. Different things in different locations. Those shared stashes, and my own stash, are under lock. Hell, DH and I keep chocolate in a lockbox that can only be opened by one of our fingerprints!

[Anonymous]

And I am the +2 pp above

I DO buy the kids things that they like, such as Oreos and ice cream which I do NOT eat. Not everyone has the same tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

I would rather my kids eat good quality stuff and get a taste for it than accept crappy chocolates because you think they don't care. And I'm not a spendthrift kind of person.

It sounds like this is a big deal in your house. Buy a box for you, a box for dh, a box for the kids. I bet they care because it's "forbidden" but once they can have it and don't have to hide it from mom, they won't care as much.

I think it's weird not to share with your kids, we send them to preschool so they learn how to share, take turns, be empathetic humans, and then "but these are MINE" for no reason they'll understand...doesn't really make sense if you think about it.

This. Why wouldn't you share unless you can't afford it and it is a rare indulgence? People were always surprised that my preschooler liked goat cheese - well it was because I wouldn't buy American since I don't eat it myself. In general, I'd rather feed my kid quality stuff instead of m&m's full of food coloring - though he does eat that occasionally on Halloween, etc.

If the kids like it, cultivate good taste and eating better quality foods.

DP. I cultivate appreciation for good foods for my kids. I cook from scratch most nights, buy high quality ingredients, feed a broad range of foods, mostly nutritious. On special occasions, I’ll make something a little more fancy. But a $100 box of chocolates is a rare indulgence to me. I grew up eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Hershey’s. I loved them. But as I grew older, they taste disgustingly sweet to me. I also like the ritual of a ridiculously expensive chocolate. Looking at the chocolate legend to see what I’m getting, taking small bites, savoring the taste…. I don’t need to spoil my kids for the cheap stuff so early in life. They get the same pleasure out of Hershey so they can eat that.

Sure, I don't share Teuscher champagne truffles with my DS though he has tasted them but she is talking about a box of Belgian chocolates from Rodmans - in the $8-15 range unless she is buying Neuhaus.

[Anonymous]

Especially if the kids are young and don't have their own special desserts or whatever, it would be wrong to eat in front of them and not let them have it. Nothing wrong with a secret stash, as long as it is actually a secret.

Personally, I have had hand made chocolates that are super expensive (hand made, bought from the chocolatier), and if DD (was young at the time) asked to eat one, I'll say 'I'm not sure you'll like it, would you like a taste?' and offer a bite. If she liked it, we'll share. Otherwise, I get to eat. And these are tiny pieces of chocolate to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has OP been back to clarify if she eats the chocolate in front of family (not ok) or has a secret stash she eats alone (ok)?

+1. I need some clarification on the situation

[Anonymous]

I think this is fine if you are the bio mom and your DH is crazy.

If you are the step-mom, I think there is more to the story. Making them feel comfortable in your home may necessitate extra sensitivity. DH may not be so crazy after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every mother should have a secret stash of her own chocolate that the vultures can’t get to. Your mistake was telling your DH you had it.

+1

I'll never tell a soul where my secret chocolate stash is, but I have one and no, I don't share. I'm allowed to have one thing that's solely for me.

+1 just bought a box of Neuhaus from Rodman’s based on this thread. I don’t drink so I need to have one thing that is my personal indulgence.

[Anonymous]

Someone referenced $100 box of chocolates upthread. Is that literally what we are talking about here?

[Anonymous]

Bottom shelf of my freezer behind the frozen veggies is a container of the good ice cream. It's mine. I eat it after they go to sleep and they will never know. It's the only junk food in the house that I generally indulge in. I'm not mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom shelf of my freezer behind the frozen veggies is a container of the good ice cream. It's mine. I eat it after they go to sleep and they will never know. It's the only junk food in the house that I generally indulge in. I'm not mean.

I hide my good ice cream behind frozen veggies too. No one is tempted to rifle through veggies. The Breyer’s type is out in the open for them to eat.

[Anonymous]

Is your mother in law really mean?

[Anonymous]

Yes. It’s evil behavior. Two years ago DH bought me a fancy box of chocolates at Christmas. The kids devoured it. They don’t care if they are expensive or cheap. No one got angry. This year he bought two. One for the family and one he told me to hide in the bedroom. They are teens. Any food is gone in seconds.

I currently have a box of thin mints and Samoas hidden in my closest under sweaters. I’m not sure how many they already ate but these are mine! It would be crazy to keep them in the kitchen and expect no one else to eat them.

[Anonymous]

I think like most have said you should just keep your own stash and eat alone. I have gift chocolates and chocolates I buy for self and that is what I do ( keep in home office). If in the open, I offer.

As a kid, my mom would buy Pepsi and pecan sandies and tell us they were hers as she unpacked the Shasta and huge bag of ginger snaps for us. So, this is not out of the realm that parents have different likes, tastes, budgets for their treats.

I think it is the obvious “ glee” ?? of eating in front of them while they go without? I can’t tell from your post. If you are having the chocolate while they have a fudgesicle, I would not worry - but would continue to offer occasionally as you have done. In my childhood, money was tight and so we did not begrudge my mom her treats as even at a young age we knew she rarely put herself first.

Money not an issue at all now so it’s more if I don’t keep aside they will be gone in a flash!