Is it evil stepmother behavior to sometimes buy fancy chocolate that’s mostly for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It’s evil behavior. Two years ago DH bought me a fancy box of chocolates at Christmas. The kids devoured it. They don’t care if they are expensive or cheap. No one got angry. This year he bought two. One for the family and one he told me to hide in the bedroom. They are teens. Any food is gone in seconds.

I currently have a box of thin mints and Samoas hidden in my closest under sweaters. I’m not sure how many they already ate but these are mine! It would be crazy to keep them in the kitchen and expect no one else to eat them.

My mom kept Milano cookies in her underwear drawer (she may still for all I know!) I keep pricey Camembert behind the lettuce. I think it is 100% fine!

My kids love pricey Camembert cheese. Maybe because I let them have it as soon as they wanted. I think all of you who hide food or keep it for yourselves have issues.

Personally I’m quite happy that my young kids are content with basic cheddar- but congratulations, I guess, that you get to increase your grocery bill

[Anonymous]

Buy them their own stash of equally good chocolate too, if they are over the age of 8 or so. Then you can hoard your own stash.

Are they your step kids? If so tread carefully. Is chocolate worth making everyone feel bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mommy has special ice cream, special rolls, special chocolate, special risotto, special heirloom tomatoes, even special Medjool dates. She is the only vegetarian. Even DH knows to ask before drinking some of her Jonagold juice. If there is any doubt, the item in question is labeled. If there is suspicion of potential foul play, the item is photographed and marked to indicate how much had been consumed. Cookies are counted and logged so that Mommy knows precisely what amount of unauthorized consumption has occurred in her absence. Mommy's vengeance is swift and unerring.

Why? What does your vegetarianism have to do with this? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

This is a boundary violation by your husband and you need to sit him down and tell him, and also have consequences.

[Anonymous]

I thought of you tonight, OP, when my teen son asked if I had anymore Girl Scout cookies hidden in my bedroom because he really wanted some more and already ate the others. I did and shared.

[Anonymous]

Frankly I have to hide the good stuff from Dh. He is just a huge pig. He will eat an entire bag of chocolates. He eats everything and is super skinny. The kids and I would eat one chocolate a night and savor them. I also like soda on the weekends and when I buy a case- he drinks the whole thing asap. Kind of insane. Luckily he does grocery shopping but I do have to hide things.

But yeah Dh and I hide things from the kids. I don’t think they need super fancy things yet. My kids really do get a lot of fancy things and I think it’s made them better eaters. They love shrimp, crab legs, Maryland crabs, you name it.

[Anonymous]

My husband buys me secret chocolate as gifts. Only rarely do I share it with my kids.

[Anonymous]

For the horrified among you, do you just eat your child’s party favors or Halloween candy without asking? I teach my children to share, I teach them that it’s okay that it’s okay to sometimes not share special items, and I teach them to respect others’ belongings.

OP, your husband is either crazy or really has some other complaint that lays behind his campaign.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the horrified among you, do you just eat your child’s party favors or Halloween candy without asking? I teach my children to share, I teach them that it’s okay that it’s okay to sometimes not share special items, and I teach them to respect others’ belongings.

OP, your husband is either crazy or really has some other complaint that lays behind his campaign.

Yes. Most of us raid the Halloween candy without asking. Come on, you never went in for some after they went to bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every mother should have a secret stash of her own chocolate that the vultures can’t get to. Your mistake was telling your DH you had it.

+1

I'll never tell a soul where my secret chocolate stash is, but I have one and no, I don't share. I'm allowed to have one thing that's solely for me.

That's how I feel about kids on my computer. No, I don't have the latest whatever educational app or subscription. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the horrified among you, do you just eat your child’s party favors or Halloween candy without asking? I teach my children to share, I teach them that it’s okay that it’s okay to sometimes not share special items, and I teach them to respect others’ belongings.

OP, your husband is either crazy or really has some other complaint that lays behind his campaign.

Yes. Most of us raid the Halloween candy without asking. Come on, you never went in for some after they went to bed?

Only when they are really little, like maybe 4. Definitely not once they are 6 or 7+.

[Anonymous]

*under 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a boundary violation by your husband and you need to sit him down and tell him, and also have consequences.

NP. Yeah, I also suspect that OP and her DH have other issues, or the DH had an upbringing where he wasn't allowed things he wanted, or the DH accuses OP of other things at other times unrelated to this incident....Just a strangely virulent reaction, if the situation really is ONLY about this candy and OP having her own stash. That's why an overreaction like DH's does not usually come out of the blue; usually there's something else behind it, not just the immediate trigger. I"m not saying the "something else" means OP is in the wrong! Or that DH is. But something seems off, here.

OP still hasn't told us if she noshes her special chocolate in front of the kids -- which would be rude of her, and also is just unwise as it's basically ASKING her DH and kids to get worked up. Maybe that's the only reason the DH got so mad; maybe OP insists on eating her special choc right out in the open, which could get on anyone's nerves. But I still think there must be more going on between them or in the DH's background re: sharing, food, special stuff for adults but not kids.

So...OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the horrified among you, do you just eat your child’s party favors or Halloween candy without asking? I teach my children to share, I teach them that it’s okay that it’s okay to sometimes not share special items, and I teach them to respect others’ belongings.

OP, your husband is either crazy or really has some other complaint that lays behind his campaign.

It depends. The first week or so after Halloween? No. Three weeks later? Yes. I also do not raid goody bags or special items they picked out from the bakery.

[Anonymous]

Did op ever come back to clarify whether she eats in front of the kids or not?