Is it evil stepmother behavior to sometimes buy fancy chocolate that’s mostly for me

[Anonymous]

As others have said, fine to have it, but hide it & eat it in private. I try to do this, but occasionally my kids see. I tell them they have Halloween/Christmas/Valentine’s candy leftover that is just theirs, and they can have a piece of that. It’s not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Just buy more. Why is this a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

I would rather my kids eat good quality stuff and get a taste for it than accept crappy chocolates because you think they don't care. And I'm not a spendthrift kind of person.

It sounds like this is a big deal in your house. Buy a box for you, a box for dh, a box for the kids. I bet they care because it's "forbidden" but once they can have it and don't have to hide it from mom, they won't care as much.

I think it's weird not to share with your kids, we send them to preschool so they learn how to share, take turns, be empathetic humans, and then "but these are MINE" for no reason they'll understand...doesn't really make sense if you think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is exactly what I picture OP doing every night to provoke that kind of reaction.

Oh yes! Love this movie!

[Anonymous]

For years I bought DH fancy chocolate for valentines day and a box a whatever for the kids. He did not share but only ate it when they were not around. They are in college now and still have no idea about the tradition. I think of eating it in front of the kids is rude...especially if you are buying it for yourself...not a special gift to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're eating in front of people I think it's rude to not share food.
If your husband bought the same chocolates for the kids and forbid you from having one wouldn't you feel bad?

This. Why wouldn’t you share with your kids? Why not give a piece of chocolate for each family member after dinner?

Did your parents also limit your access to “nice” foods? If your dh was brought up in a family where food was shared equally among family members, including the “nice” foods, then his reaction is understandable.

[Anonymous]

I buy myself nice chocolate once in awhile and hide it. I don’t eat it in front of anyone in my family including DH. It’s my own indulgence and my kids and DH wouldn’t appreciate the subtleties of this expensive chocolate. I share everything else and keep the fridge and pantry stocked and cook nice meals every day so they’re well-cared for.

[Anonymous]

It is very rude to eat something nice in front of others. If you had a platter of brownies and anyone who could wander into the kitchen to grab one, that would be one thing. Eating something such as chocolates in front of the kids who cannot have any creates tension and ill will. That' where your DH is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're eating in front of people I think it's rude to not share food.
If your husband bought the same chocolates for the kids and forbid you from having one wouldn't you feel bad?

This. Why wouldn’t you share with your kids? Why not give a piece of chocolate for each family member after dinner?

Did your parents also limit your access to “nice” foods? If your dh was brought up in a family where food was shared equally among family members, including the “nice” foods, then his reaction is understandable.

I don’t get the «  everything always has to be 100% equal » mentality. Not everyone’s tastes are the same, and everyone should be entitled to have their own special indulgence without doling it out equally among the family. I spend way more on my kids activities/toys etc than I would on myself and they’re hardly deprived in any way. If I want to splurge on an expensive box of chocolates myself and give the kids Hershey’s kisses I’m not going to feel guilty about it. My husband and I are both caviar fans and if we get an expensive jar for new year’s we’ll let them have a taste but I’m not going to allocate out 1/4 of the jar to my 4 and 6 year old, even if they do like it. We will however have plenty of other treats that we know they’ll enjoy.

[Anonymous]

My fancy chocolates are tucked away in my office. Nobody knows I have them. Nobody sees me eat them. I make a cup of coffee around 2pm and enjoy a chocolate before getting on my afternoon calls.

Eating it in front of the kids and not sharing would be a dick move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

I would rather my kids eat good quality stuff and get a taste for it than accept crappy chocolates because you think they don't care. And I'm not a spendthrift kind of person.

It sounds like this is a big deal in your house. Buy a box for you, a box for dh, a box for the kids. I bet they care because it's "forbidden" but once they can have it and don't have to hide it from mom, they won't care as much.

I think it's weird not to share with your kids, we send them to preschool so they learn how to share, take turns, be empathetic humans, and then "but these are MINE" for no reason they'll understand...doesn't really make sense if you think about it.

This. Why wouldn't you share unless you can't afford it and it is a rare indulgence? People were always surprised that my preschooler liked goat cheese - well it was because I wouldn't buy American since I don't eat it myself. In general, I'd rather feed my kid quality stuff instead of m&m's full of food coloring - though he does eat that occasionally on Halloween, etc.

If the kids like it, cultivate good taste and eating better quality foods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

I would rather my kids eat good quality stuff and get a taste for it than accept crappy chocolates because you think they don't care. And I'm not a spendthrift kind of person.

It sounds like this is a big deal in your house. Buy a box for you, a box for dh, a box for the kids. I bet they care because it's "forbidden" but once they can have it and don't have to hide it from mom, they won't care as much.

I think it's weird not to share with your kids, we send them to preschool so they learn how to share, take turns, be empathetic humans, and then "but these are MINE" for no reason they'll understand...doesn't really make sense if you think about it.

This. Why wouldn't you share unless you can't afford it and it is a rare indulgence? People were always surprised that my preschooler liked goat cheese - well it was because I wouldn't buy American since I don't eat it myself. In general, I'd rather feed my kid quality stuff instead of m&m's full of food coloring - though he does eat that occasionally on Halloween, etc.

If the kids like it, cultivate good taste and eating better quality foods.

DP. I cultivate appreciation for good foods for my kids. I cook from scratch most nights, buy high quality ingredients, feed a broad range of foods, mostly nutritious. On special occasions, I’ll make something a little more fancy. But a $100 box of chocolates is a rare indulgence to me. I grew up eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or Hershey’s. I loved them. But as I grew older, they taste disgustingly sweet to me. I also like the ritual of a ridiculously expensive chocolate. Looking at the chocolate legend to see what I’m getting, taking small bites, savoring the taste…. I don’t need to spoil my kids for the cheap stuff so early in life. They get the same pleasure out of Hershey so they can eat that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're eating in front of people I think it's rude to not share food.
If your husband bought the same chocolates for the kids and forbid you from having one wouldn't you feel bad?

This. Why wouldn’t you share with your kids? Why not give a piece of chocolate for each family member after dinner?

Did your parents also limit your access to “nice” foods? If your dh was brought up in a family where food was shared equally among family members, including the “nice” foods, then his reaction is understandable.

I don’t get the «  everything always has to be 100% equal » mentality. Not everyone’s tastes are the same, and everyone should be entitled to have their own special indulgence without doling it out equally among the family. I spend way more on my kids activities/toys etc than I would on myself and they’re hardly deprived in any way. If I want to splurge on an expensive box of chocolates myself and give the kids Hershey’s kisses I’m not going to feel guilty about it. My husband and I are both caviar fans and if we get an expensive jar for new year’s we’ll let them have a taste but I’m not going to allocate out 1/4 of the jar to my 4 and 6 year old, even if they do like it. We will however have plenty of other treats that we know they’ll enjoy.

You chose to have your kids. They didn’t choose to be born. If you didn’t want to spend $ on toys and activities, and share food, why did you have them?

Hiding food not to share with family members is prime example of cheap behavior that is off putting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe buy 2

Buy 2, he can decide how much the kids get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're eating in front of people I think it's rude to not share food.
If your husband bought the same chocolates for the kids and forbid you from having one wouldn't you feel bad?

This. Why wouldn’t you share with your kids? Why not give a piece of chocolate for each family member after dinner?

Did your parents also limit your access to “nice” foods? If your dh was brought up in a family where food was shared equally among family members, including the “nice” foods, then his reaction is understandable.

I don’t get the «  everything always has to be 100% equal » mentality. Not everyone’s tastes are the same, and everyone should be entitled to have their own special indulgence without doling it out equally among the family. I spend way more on my kids activities/toys etc than I would on myself and they’re hardly deprived in any way. If I want to splurge on an expensive box of chocolates myself and give the kids Hershey’s kisses I’m not going to feel guilty about it. My husband and I are both caviar fans and if we get an expensive jar for new year’s we’ll let them have a taste but I’m not going to allocate out 1/4 of the jar to my 4 and 6 year old, even if they do like it. We will however have plenty of other treats that we know they’ll enjoy.

Pp again. I didn’t suggest about allocating 1/2 a jar to be equal, but sitting there at the table eating and tell them they are not allowed, is stingy and cheap.