Is it evil stepmother behavior to sometimes buy fancy chocolate that’s mostly for me

[Anonymous]

As an evil stepmother* and an evil bio-mother, this is not even close to evil territory. I’d even say it’s okay to do this in front of them as long as the kids get some sort of treat.

Now, I do have a moving hidden stash of chocolate that my elementary school chocolate loving daughter finds and raids, and when she grumbles about it being moved or gone, I tell her she has plenty of treats that I don’t eat, and it’s perfectly fine that I have something of my own.

Because it’s perfectly fine for you to have something of your own, especially if it’s something expensive that other people in your house wouldn’t appreciate.

*Kidding, my adult step kid and I get along swimmingly and I jokingly refer to myself as an evil stepmother.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

[Anonymous]

My husband buys me fancy chocolates for Valentine's Day every year (at my request) and I have never considered sharing it with my kids... they like Hershey's! They can't be trusted to appreciate the good stuff! If they really wanted some, I might give them a piece or two, but I would never feel obligated to share it with them. They've never asked, and I've never offered. Honestly, I don't think they'd like it. Or at least I tell myself that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My husband buys me fancy chocolates for Valentine's Day every year (at my request) and I have never considered sharing it with my kids... they like Hershey's! They can't be trusted to appreciate the good stuff! If they really wanted some, I might give them a piece or two, but I would never feel obligated to share it with them. They've never asked, and I've never offered. Honestly, I don't think they'd like it. Or at least I tell myself that.

It's different if it was a gift only to you.

[Anonymous]

Just hide it

[Anonymous]

It’s kind of weird. My stepdad did things like that and would leave passive aggressive notes if I touched anything of his. 15 years later he wonders why we don’t have a good relationship.

Eating the chocolate in front of them without sharing is extremely rude.

Either hide them somewhere like your closet, or get two boxes and share. My H always shares things with my kids or buys them their own.

[Anonymous]

Lol i do this all the time. I just keep it at work.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely hide it from my kids. I usually have a cup of tea with my fancy chocolates when they are in bed. I only share with them when actually find it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s kind of weird. My stepdad did things like that and would leave passive aggressive notes if I touched anything of his. 15 years later he wonders why we don’t have a good relationship.

Eating the chocolate in front of them without sharing is extremely rude.

Either hide them somewhere like your closet, or get two boxes and share. My H always shares things with my kids or buys them their own.

+1. If this is like a nightly thing where you eat chocolate in front of them and they don’t get anything that’s weird but obviously having chocolate of your own and eating it privately is fine.

[Anonymous]

I don't eat my fancy chocolate in front of my DS, but I do occasionally buy myself treats.

[Anonymous]

This makes me laugh as my husband and I do this with items. No $12 fresh squeezed OJ for them, they get the Simply Orange. We also hide cookies for ourselves for after they go to sleep occasionally. I’m allergic to dairy so I buy expensive almond milk ice cream which looks yummy to them but they know it’s mommy’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're eating in front of people I think it's rude to not share food.
If your husband bought the same chocolates for the kids and forbid you from having one wouldn't you feel bad?

This. It’s not buying something specific for yourself that’s bad, it’s the eating it in front of other without offering to share that’s incredibly rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every now and then I treat myself to a box of the fancy, expensive Belgian chocolate from Rodman’s. Sometimes I let the kids have a piece or two as a treat but mostly I keep it for myself, eating a piece after dinner every day until the box is gone. This absolutely enrages DH, he thinks it’s evil stepmother behavior (his words) to keep any food for myself and deem it “off limits” to the kids, and seems to take special pleasure in giving the kids some whenever I’m not around to say no. I asked him please not to give away stuff I bought specifically for myself and he just went on an extended rant about how horrible I’m being, and how my own parents would never have done that to me (I feel like they would have, but admit I can’t recall any specific incidents). Does he have a point? I don’t even know.

Rodman’s sells boxes of fancy Belgian chocolate?

[Anonymous]

Keep it for yourself!! I’m not a stepmom (just a mom) and I totally do this. My husband (a stepdad) also does this with some things.