Is it evil stepmother behavior to sometimes buy fancy chocolate that’s mostly for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread sparked a really interesting conversation amongst a group of my friends. I tend to buy nice desserts, cheese, cuts of meat, etc for just the adults in the house. If our kids ask, we tell them that they can try a bite but its for the adults.

One of my friends thinks that is horrible and that any food in the house should be fair game for all family members.

Another one of my friends told a really funny story about how she hosted a party and set out a tray of expensive cheese, olives, prosciutto and salami. The 3 kids at the party polished off the entire tray before the adults got any and she was pissed!

A third friend said that she always buys an alternative for the kids so they still feel like they are getting something special.

This is what happens when their parents don’t let them eat this stuff at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread sparked a really interesting conversation amongst a group of my friends. I tend to buy nice desserts, cheese, cuts of meat, etc for just the adults in the house. If our kids ask, we tell them that they can try a bite but its for the adults.

One of my friends thinks that is horrible and that any food in the house should be fair game for all family members.

Another one of my friends told a really funny story about how she hosted a party and set out a tray of expensive cheese, olives, prosciutto and salami. The 3 kids at the party polished off the entire tray before the adults got any and she was pissed!

A third friend said that she always buys an alternative for the kids so they still feel like they are getting something special.

This is what happens when their parents don’t let them eat this stuff at home.

This is also what happens when you don't teach your kids manners! Do not hoover up food at someone else's house. Ye gods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You husband is nuts. I don’t share my good chocolate with my bio kids, that would be a huge waste!

Why a huge waste? I didn’t grow up in this country and it always surprises me to see Americans eat fancy/gourmet foods but let the kids eat crappy hotdogs and grilled cheese sandwiches. Why can’t the kids have the good stuff too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every now and then I treat myself to a box of the fancy, expensive Belgian chocolate from Rodman’s. Sometimes I let the kids have a piece or two as a treat but mostly I keep it for myself, eating a piece after dinner every day until the box is gone. This absolutely enrages DH, he thinks it’s evil stepmother behavior (his words) to keep any food for myself and deem it “off limits” to the kids, and seems to take special pleasure in giving the kids some whenever I’m not around to say no. I asked him please not to give away stuff I bought specifically for myself and he just went on an extended rant about how horrible I’m being, and how my own parents would never have done that to me (I feel like they would have, but admit I can’t recall any specific incidents). Does he have a point? I don’t even know.

Whatever I buy is good for me, is good for my kids and husband. So, if I buy something I buy enough for everyone. I do think it is selfish to hoard your chocolate. Especially if they like it too! Why not buy more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you buy enough of the good chocolate for the kids to enjoy too?

The vast majority of young kids are not going to not going to distinguish between good chocolates and a box of Whitman samplers (or may even prefer the latter).

This is why American kids develop a taste for the nasty, overly-sweet cheapo chocolate. Let them have the good stuff!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have my (bio) daughter a Hershey’s kids while I ate a fancy truffle the other day. I suspect she liked what she got better. (She’s two. No way am I wasting my nice chocolate on her now or possibly ever.)

Funny typo. One day I hope you share the good stuff. 2 may be too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what you do:

Buy a bag of Hershey’s kisses. When you get one of your chocolates offer the kids one of the candies. Done.

Is your husband controlling about other things too?

+1 this is some red flag behavior. Wonder what was in his upbringing that caused him to react this way.

You must be the parent of little kids. As they get older, they just go into the kitchen and get what they want. Which may be ALL of your bag of Hershey's kisses. Which is why I have my own secret stash of whatever it is. I'm happy to buy them what they want, even the Hersheys kisses or belgian chocolate or whatever they want, but I keep my own because my husband and tween/teen boys eat it all really fast, as I mentioned upthread. They are not waiting for someone to 'offer' it to them.

dp That hasn't happened in my family. I have always offered whatever we got and then my kids know that they shouldn't take the last item or eat everything before they ask, "can I have the last chocolate"" So it is possible to teach your kids not to hover everything and be polite!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a sumo orange?

+1 Must look this up

Expensive (but really delicious) oranges. It's $16/box at Wegmans. Each box has ... 8? 9? oranges. They're only available for a short amount of time, so we buy them, kind of like those cotton candy grapes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mommy has special ice cream, special rolls, special chocolate, special risotto, special heirloom tomatoes, even special Medjool dates. She is the only vegetarian. Even DH knows to ask before drinking some of her Jonagold juice. If there is any doubt, the item in question is labeled. If there is suspicion of potential foul play, the item is photographed and marked to indicate how much had been consumed. Cookies are counted and logged so that Mommy knows precisely what amount of unauthorized consumption has occurred in her absence. Mommy's vengeance is swift and unerring.

Mommy = Smaug

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It’s evil behavior. Two years ago DH bought me a fancy box of chocolates at Christmas. The kids devoured it. They don’t care if they are expensive or cheap. No one got angry. This year he bought two. One for the family and one he told me to hide in the bedroom. They are teens. Any food is gone in seconds.

I currently have a box of thin mints and Samoas hidden in my closest under sweaters. I’m not sure how many they already ate but these are mine! It would be crazy to keep them in the kitchen and expect no one else to eat them.

My mom kept Milano cookies in her underwear drawer (she may still for all I know!) I keep pricey Camembert behind the lettuce. I think it is 100% fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It’s evil behavior. Two years ago DH bought me a fancy box of chocolates at Christmas. The kids devoured it. They don’t care if they are expensive or cheap. No one got angry. This year he bought two. One for the family and one he told me to hide in the bedroom. They are teens. Any food is gone in seconds.

I currently have a box of thin mints and Samoas hidden in my closest under sweaters. I’m not sure how many they already ate but these are mine! It would be crazy to keep them in the kitchen and expect no one else to eat them.

My mom kept Milano cookies in her underwear drawer (she may still for all I know!) I keep pricey Camembert behind the lettuce. I think it is 100% fine!

My kids love pricey Camembert cheese. Maybe because I let them have it as soon as they wanted. I think all of you who hide food or keep it for yourselves have issues.

[Anonymous]

I had this problem with DH recently. I got a $50 cash gift over the holidays and decided to buy myself some fancy chocolate.

I shared a little with DH but asked him not to help himself, since I bought it for myself. He could not comprehend this and was, I think, genuinely offended.

DD didn't care one bit, there were plenty of other holiday treats leftover.

I've gone back to that chocolate store but now I have to hide it in my office. I do buy DH a little something, though.

[Anonymous]

From reading all the comments, I believe most families would be surprised to learn that if you always offer the "special foods," your family/children will not scarf it down as soon as it crosses the threshold of your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From reading all the comments, I believe most families would be surprised to learn that if you always offer the "special foods," your family/children will not scarf it down as soon as it crosses the threshold of your home.

Nope. Teenagers gonna scarf.

[Anonymous]

I hear you op. Groceries are really expensive right now, and money is tight. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having your own secret stash of something. However, I agree with the other posters that you should not eat it in front of them. If there is money in the budget, maybe consider buying two if you know they enjoy it. Maybe you could have one box for the adults and one box for the kids. And when the kids eat theirs, oh well. They are not allowed to have the adult box.