Over-worked nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is becoming awfully defensive . . .

+1. What the heck? OP is a total asshole.

F off. OP here.

Never, in a million years, did I think I’d get attacked for wanting to spend 6 hours a month outside with my husband Without the kids and caring about our nanny’s well being. Nor did I expect my nanny to be attacked for loving my kids.

I am not new to DCUM but this is a new low.

Thank you to the few who gave real advice.

Nobody has said a single bad thing about your nanny. To the contrary, posters feel sorry for her.

Actually, one poster questioned whether the nanny had replaced mom in the child’s affection, and im guessing op read that as an attack on the nanny, like I did.

Hey op, nanny here. No, your child didn’t replace you. No, you’re not awful for wanting 6 hours alone with your husband each month. No, there’s no reason to put your toddler through a 3 hour crying jag every other week if the nanny is offering to take care of the kids on the weekend.

I would suggest timing the run or hike according to the nanny’s preference. She may prefer to do lunch into toddler naptime and do something quiet with the 3yo, or she may want to do 8.30-11.30, then hand off to you for lunch. You’re already at 45 hours, so those three hours will be overtime, but you could free to do it in cash or lump it into her next paycheck.

It was an attack on OP, not the nanny. It's not the nanny's fault that she spends 10 times as much time with the kids as OP already, and now OP is pressuring the nanny to do even more. Why wouldn't the kids like the nanny better?

And that doesn’t happen even if the parent is gone for months, not unless the nanny makes it happen, and if anyone would know, I would. I work 24/7 with parents who deploy or are otherwise out-of-state for weeks or months at a time, and as someone who has been accused (unjustly) of trying to alienate the parent’s affection from the children (not by my employer, ever, just “concerned” others), I read it as accusatory of the nanny. Ymmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread got so weird. I feel like there's like two people responding who are really mad that they don't have any babysitting help and are taking it out on OP.

Even if the nanny does 3 extra hours on the weekend, that's only a 48 hr work week. It's not like 80 hrs. So many people on dcum leave their kids with nannies or in daycare for 10+ hrs a day.

It would be one thing if OP forced the nanny to do weekend work as a condition of her job, but that really doesn't sound like what's happening. Yes, at first, the nanny said she didn't want to do weekends, but maybe now that she knows the kids and family, her opinion has changed. I can totally see that happened. Or maybe since the pandemic started, her own weekends are not as busy and she doesn't mind making a little extra money.

I feel like they're often nanny trolls or such. I'm a nanny and have been posting in here for 10+ years. Some are just absolutely laughably and ridiculous towards any parents posting.

It seems to me that there are a number of parents deriding OP. Most of the nannies are telling OP that the nanny can make up her own mind.

[Anonymous]

We told our nanny we’d give them rights if first refusal. So if they wanted the extra money they could earn it babysitting but if they valued time off they could get it. Kids can adjust to a new sitter. Even 16 month olds. But you and DH can reconnect on a dinner date and don’t have to connect by hiking during the day when the kids are awake. When our kids were your kids ages we went out after they were asleep.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- my bosses asked me to work this weekend just so they could lay in bed and decompress. I was happy to oblige, and got paid OT. I don’t care if my bosses are sleeping or at work, shopping online, or getting exercise with their spouse. I’m there to do a job. I actually WANT my employers to spend time as a couple and keep the family together because that’s job security for me- hello! Anyway. I worked 9-1pm and it was great because then I still had the afternoon. I haaaaaate 12-4 or 1-5pm shifts because it basically feels like you don’t have a day off so if possible please schedule 8/9-12/1pm or else do a date night. I love my bosses and want to keep them happy.

- Nanny with the same family for 7 years

[Anonymous]

Ps. Nanny again/ I think people coming down on the OP are just jealous. Lots of parents wised to comments about my bosses for still having full time care (older kids) but the joke was on them, when the pandemic hit. I’m a former teacher and everything has been smooth sailing the past 2 years! I honestly don’t care what you are doing as long as you don’t micromanage or interfere!