Weight/fitness level and attraction

[Anonymous]

We are both in our 60’s and we do our best to say fit and attractive but you can’t fight aging, only slow it down. My husband is very good looking but he could stand to lose 20 pounds but he works out hard 3 times a week and maintains a pretty good diet so I’m not going to complain about his extra weight. I’m pretty fit and recently lost 12 pounds and he has definitely noticed it. We have always had and continue to have a very active sex life and being physically attracted to each other has been a big part of it. If he didn’t take care of himself or I didn’t take care of myself I’m not sure what our sex life would be like.

[Anonymous]

My first wife put on 60 lbs during the time we were together. Honestly, I didn’t find it attractive but I did my best to be supportive. You should never try to change someone - they’re either into being fit for themselves or they’re not. She was also a growing alcoholic and did her best to try and bankrupt us with wreckless spending. After, I caught her in her 2nd affair I was relieved to throw in the towel. Luckily, we didn’t have any kids.

When I started dating, someone who was into staying fit for themselves was at the top of my “must haves” list. I’ve been married now to a really fit person for the last 18 years. Obviously, it takes a lot more than a fit body to be into someone but that was important to me.

[Anonymous]

I have two brothers and this thread confirms what I’ve observed all along.

“JDBF” holds true. But fat isn’t what women think it is. JDBF doesn’t mean that 115 lbs is better than 125 lbs which is better than 135 lbs. it means don’t be 185 lbs.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I like my women with curves. Always have and always will be attracted to large b00b$.

latge boobs xome on women of all sizes.

I agree… Seem to attract petite women with natural D cup and larger.

What's petite to you

NP my wife is 5,4” 135-145 lbs 32 G. She is hott.

Your wife is close to my FWB. She’s 5’1, same weight range and 36I. To me, my perfect woman. I need to put a ring on her finger. Been FWB since ‘97

FWB for 24 years???? Wow. Are either or both of you now or ever been married?

Yes, crazy. 24 years. We get along very well and both the same age, 51. Neither of us have been married. I know she goes out on dates but they never go anywhere. I don’t like to date, it’s like an interview. I work, go to the gym, go to dinner with friends, (women and men), I don’t drink or do drugs, own my house and have a beach house. Anything else you would like to know, open book here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My wife was 120lb when we met. After she had one baby she went up to 180lb, Then she never worked our or even tried to get the weight off FOR SEVEN YEARS. Last year she was down to 135lb for a few weeks because she was sick. Now, she's back up to 150lb.

I don't find her attractive at all. I run four times a week and run 5k and 10k races to keep myself in shape. She has zero interest or motivation. She's not even remotely attractive anymore.

You need to have a talk with your wife. Ignoring it for the sake of not hurting her feelings will fester over and ruin your marriage, or just make for a sexless marriage. Tell her that you want her to take care of herself and that health is sexy. Find some ways to get her involved in some of your fitness activities and make healthier suggestions for family meals.

Definitely talk to your wife. Tell her you are cutting back on your runs and training to give her a break from the kids. Start taking over the meal planning and cooking and make healthy tasty meals for her and the family. What did she do for excercise before kids? Get her a gift card for a yoga place and take over putting kids to bed one day a week so she can go to class.

Yup, this.

I take on more of the household load so H can get his exercise in. I cook almost all the meals so that he can have that extra hour to exercise in the evening, watch the kids on the weekend so he can go get a 8 mile hike in, not uncommon for him to work late because he took off for an hour to workout during the day. Lots of promises to get up early to work out or to take over some meals so I can also get a break, but very rarely happens.

I’d be pissed as hell if I found out H resented I didn’t look as good as I did in my 20s because I was picking up all this extra work so he could look sexy. I’d probably start hitting the gym every day after work and he can figure out what to do with the kids. And once I lost all the weight I’d probably start looking for a nice husband upgrade.

A decent run takes 30 minutes. Eating healthy takes roughly the same amount of time as eating unhealthy food. Don't blame your husband for your being out of shape.

And yes, it sounds like he should do more around the house. But the PP you are responding too might do a lot around the house. There is no reason he should give up one of only 4 runs a week. He should be doing that, and so should his wife, and there is almost certainly a way they could work out the timing for such a minimal amount of exercise.