Weight/fitness level and attraction

[Anonymous]

We are both into fitness and in really good shape. I have seen my wife be thinner, and also heavier and its never bothered me, I always found her attractive.
If anyone of us gained 50 pounds that would probably change things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

i agree. also, you may find that you actually feel better about yourself when you are fit. it's worth it not just to please your spouse, but to feel good in your own body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

It’s mostly generic isn’t it? I eat like crap and have a BMI of 18.

Well, not like crap… I eat pretty well. But I never count calories and have fries, potato chips, chocolate etc whenever I want.

[Anonymous]

*genetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

Yes, calorie restriction does lead to weight loss. Most people cannot live with sustained calorie restriction. It’s maddening to live hungry all the time. For some people, our minds and bodies crave food when we restrict what we eat. Living in a perpetual state of hunger makes you grouchy. For people who don’t have intense food cravings or eat what they want, they’ll never understand. They just say to eat less, not understanding how hard that is to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

Yes, calorie restriction does lead to weight loss. Most people cannot live with sustained calorie restriction. It’s maddening to live hungry all the time. For some people, our minds and bodies crave food when we restrict what we eat. Living in a perpetual state of hunger makes you grouchy. For people who don’t have intense food cravings or eat what they want, they’ll never understand. They just say to eat less, not understanding how hard that is to do.

But the rewards have been so worth it for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

It is. Have you ever seen Ancel Keys Minnesota Starvation Experiment done with conscientious objectors during WWII? It completely changed their behavior and the way that they think. That takes up a lot of time.
In fact, I sometimes wonder if these women who aren't interested in sex with their husbands are actually just starving.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/10/hunger


"Subjects had to be male, single and demonstrate good physical and mental health (largely based on the newly developed Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). They also had to show an ability to get along well with others under trying circumstances and an interest in relief work. The final 36 men were selected from more than 200 volunteers and in November 1944 made their way to the University of Minnesota to begin their service.

The research protocol called for the men to lose 25 percent of their normal body weight. They spent the first three months of the study eating a normal diet of 3,200 calories a day, followed by six months of semi-starvation at 1,570 calories a day (divided between breakfast and lunch), then a restricted rehabilitation period of three months eating 2,000 to 3,200 calories a day, and finally an eight-week unrestricted rehabilitation period during which there were no limits on caloric intake. Their diet consisted of foods widely available in Europe during the war, mostly potatoes, root vegetables, bread and macaroni. The men were required to work 15 hours per week in the lab, walk 22 miles per week and participate in a variety of educational activities for 25 hours a week. Throughout the experiment, the researchers measured the physiological and psychological changes brought on by near starvation.

During the semi-starvation phase the changes were dramatic. Beyond the gaunt appearance of the men, there were significant decreases in their strength and stamina, body temperature, heart rate and sex drive. The psychological effects were significant as well. Hunger made the men obsessed with food. They would dream and fantasize about food, read and talk about food and savor the two meals a day they were given. They reported fatigue, irritability, depression and apathy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

Yes, calorie restriction does lead to weight loss. Most people cannot live with sustained calorie restriction. It’s maddening to live hungry all the time. For some people, our minds and bodies crave food when we restrict what we eat. Living in a perpetual state of hunger makes you grouchy. For people who don’t have intense food cravings or eat what they want, they’ll never understand. They just say to eat less, not understanding how hard that is to do.

But the rewards have been so worth it for me.

I know this is off topic, but what are the rewards? Assuming that you are reasonably healthy with good cholesterol, have no joint problems, can play with your kids, and run a few miles every couple of days. (Asking for a friend...)

I just don't really see the big pay off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

It is. Have you ever seen Ancel Keys Minnesota Starvation Experiment done with conscientious objectors during WWII? It completely changed their behavior and the way that they think. That takes up a lot of time.
In fact, I sometimes wonder if these women who aren't interested in sex with their husbands are actually just starving.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/10/hunger


"Subjects had to be male, single and demonstrate good physical and mental health (largely based on the newly developed Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). They also had to show an ability to get along well with others under trying circumstances and an interest in relief work. The final 36 men were selected from more than 200 volunteers and in November 1944 made their way to the University of Minnesota to begin their service.

The research protocol called for the men to lose 25 percent of their normal body weight. They spent the first three months of the study eating a normal diet of 3,200 calories a day, followed by six months of semi-starvation at 1,570 calories a day (divided between breakfast and lunch), then a restricted rehabilitation period of three months eating 2,000 to 3,200 calories a day, and finally an eight-week unrestricted rehabilitation period during which there were no limits on caloric intake. Their diet consisted of foods widely available in Europe during the war, mostly potatoes, root vegetables, bread and macaroni. The men were required to work 15 hours per week in the lab, walk 22 miles per week and participate in a variety of educational activities for 25 hours a week. Throughout the experiment, the researchers measured the physiological and psychological changes brought on by near starvation.

During the semi-starvation phase the changes were dramatic. Beyond the gaunt appearance of the men, there were significant decreases in their strength and stamina, body temperature, heart rate and sex drive. The psychological effects were significant as well. Hunger made the men obsessed with food. They would dream and fantasize about food, read and talk about food and savor the two meals a day they were given. They reported fatigue, irritability, depression and apathy."

Everyone’s biology is different, but there is a middle ground between starvation/extreme deprivation and eating a balanced, healthy diet with daily exercise even if it’s relatively moderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

It is. Have you ever seen Ancel Keys Minnesota Starvation Experiment done with conscientious objectors during WWII? It completely changed their behavior and the way that they think. That takes up a lot of time.
In fact, I sometimes wonder if these women who aren't interested in sex with their husbands are actually just starving.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/10/hunger


"Subjects had to be male, single and demonstrate good physical and mental health (largely based on the newly developed Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). They also had to show an ability to get along well with others under trying circumstances and an interest in relief work. The final 36 men were selected from more than 200 volunteers and in November 1944 made their way to the University of Minnesota to begin their service.

The research protocol called for the men to lose 25 percent of their normal body weight. They spent the first three months of the study eating a normal diet of 3,200 calories a day, followed by six months of semi-starvation at 1,570 calories a day (divided between breakfast and lunch), then a restricted rehabilitation period of three months eating 2,000 to 3,200 calories a day, and finally an eight-week unrestricted rehabilitation period during which there were no limits on caloric intake. Their diet consisted of foods widely available in Europe during the war, mostly potatoes, root vegetables, bread and macaroni. The men were required to work 15 hours per week in the lab, walk 22 miles per week and participate in a variety of educational activities for 25 hours a week. Throughout the experiment, the researchers measured the physiological and psychological changes brought on by near starvation.

During the semi-starvation phase the changes were dramatic. Beyond the gaunt appearance of the men, there were significant decreases in their strength and stamina, body temperature, heart rate and sex drive. The psychological effects were significant as well. Hunger made the men obsessed with food. They would dream and fantasize about food, read and talk about food and savor the two meals a day they were given. They reported fatigue, irritability, depression and apathy."

Ah, but none of that matters as long as you fulfill your womanly obligation to be skinny and thus pleasing to the male eye. I guess.

[Anonymous]

People who were fit and attractive all throughout school and gain weight due to injury, children, etc don't have the excuse "People call out my bullying, dishonesty, cruelty because I'm fat" with the naive believing them. Nearly 100% of the jerks I know use their weight as a license to act like a slimeball. A partner's actual weight wouldn't matter to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d guess we’d all like our spouses to be fit. For most people thought, attraction is linked to more than just weight. We love and are attracted to the whole person. And most people are not going to leave their spouse because they are not as fit as when they were younger. We accept people change over time.

The theme on this thread is women gaining weight. It takes such dedicated and time consuming measures to stay fit as we age, it’s just not worth it for most women. While staying healthy should be a priority, diet and exercise to please your spouse isn't as important as other life endeavors.

100% dead wrong: calorie control is all it takes to prevent unattractive weight gain. Calorie control is not a "time consuming measure".
I agree that most women do not feel their husbands are "worth it" to control their calorie intake. Quite sad, really.

It is. Have you ever seen Ancel Keys Minnesota Starvation Experiment done with conscientious objectors during WWII? It completely changed their behavior and the way that they think. That takes up a lot of time.
In fact, I sometimes wonder if these women who aren't interested in sex with their husbands are actually just starving.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/10/hunger


"Subjects had to be male, single and demonstrate good physical and mental health (largely based on the newly developed Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). They also had to show an ability to get along well with others under trying circumstances and an interest in relief work. The final 36 men were selected from more than 200 volunteers and in November 1944 made their way to the University of Minnesota to begin their service.

The research protocol called for the men to lose 25 percent of their normal body weight. They spent the first three months of the study eating a normal diet of 3,200 calories a day, followed by six months of semi-starvation at 1,570 calories a day (divided between breakfast and lunch), then a restricted rehabilitation period of three months eating 2,000 to 3,200 calories a day, and finally an eight-week unrestricted rehabilitation period during which there were no limits on caloric intake. Their diet consisted of foods widely available in Europe during the war, mostly potatoes, root vegetables, bread and macaroni. The men were required to work 15 hours per week in the lab, walk 22 miles per week and participate in a variety of educational activities for 25 hours a week. Throughout the experiment, the researchers measured the physiological and psychological changes brought on by near starvation.

During the semi-starvation phase the changes were dramatic. Beyond the gaunt appearance of the men, there were significant decreases in their strength and stamina, body temperature, heart rate and sex drive. The psychological effects were significant as well. Hunger made the men obsessed with food. They would dream and fantasize about food, read and talk about food and savor the two meals a day they were given. They reported fatigue, irritability, depression and apathy."

Everyone’s biology is different, but there is a middle ground between starvation/extreme deprivation and eating a balanced, healthy diet with daily exercise even if it’s relatively moderate.

I know right?
By starvation, we are talking about restricting to 1500 calories/day and walking 3-4 miles a day, resulting in a 25% weight loss over the course of nine months. That’s probably something like 1-2 lbs a week.

I mean, no one is suggesting that their partners do this, are they?


I don’t know. It’s so sad that people would voluntarily do this to themselves or ask their partners to do it.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a little heavy before COVID, and got scared because of the virus' effect on heavier people. So he got really fit in two years, is ripped and everything. Now he is kind of obsessed with his body now, but he is healthy and looks good in bed.

[Anonymous]

My husband looks great to me, but I don’t expect him to look at 50 like he did at 26. I gain and loose 20lbs depending on the season. I weight more now days. He doesn’t say anything, we still have regular sex, and he tells me loves me. If he does care, he doesn’t let me know. I’m happy at either weight, so I feel now real incentive to loose.

[Anonymous]

Met my 5’8” wife when she was a very fit 145. She eventually gained to around 175, which actually still looked very good on her. She is now 225 and noticeably quite overweight, especially in her stomach area. She’s unhappy with it and has started with a trainer, who agreed with her that 170-175 is a target weight for her build.

From my perspective, I just want to have sex. I don’t really get jealous of the “hot moms” out there because I’m not exactly a 10 myself.