Jealous of friends who can go on kid free vacations

[Anonymous]

In the same boat OP. I have been on one vacation without kids many years ago but neither set of grandparents are able to provide that level of care anymore. We also live close to various members on DHs side who would never watch the kids though we have done it for them in the past. We dont have any close friends that I would feel comfortable with burdening either. I guess I could take the chance with a Nanny but I've watched too many news stories to feel comfortable with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the same boat OP. I have been on one vacation without kids many years ago but neither set of grandparents are able to provide that level of care anymore. We also live close to various members on DHs side who would never watch the kids though we have done it for them in the past. We dont have any close friends that I would feel comfortable with burdening either. I guess I could take the chance with a Nanny but I've watched too many news stories to feel comfortable with that.

This seems paranoid. My former nanny was a better parent than me most of the time, honestly, and I'm a pretty good mom.

[Anonymous]

I feel very blessed that both sets of grandparents are local and willing to watch the kids while DH and I go away occasionally. My kids are finally old enough that vacations with them are more enjoyable so I do like having them with us as well. I also like traveling with my parents and my kids and we do that every other year or so.

What I wish is that someone other than me would FOR ONCE plan a vacation. I have to make all of the plans no matter who else is going with us and it's exhausting. And then my husband will find one thing that he wants to do on vacation, obsess over it and disrupt the entire vacation so we can do that one thing that no one else really cares about. Meanwhile, I'm spending weeks and weeks planning things for everyone else. I would actually like to just vacation alone for once and not have to even take DH with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a side effect of a couple shifts in society: 1) people have kids much older so that by the time their kids have kids they are too old to help and 2) families being spread to the wind geographically so little family support lives close enough to help.

Sure but my parents’ and grandparents’ generation weren’t used to vacationing without their children. Vacations weren’t to Aruba, they were car rides to the Midwest to see older relatives or maybe a family trip to Disney. It’s also a shift in vacation patterns generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same.

I saw my SIL for thanksgiving and spontaneiously burst in to tears when she was talking about a trip to napa valley with her girl friends and then a trip to seattle with her DH a few weeks later.

I am typically not emotional or a crier and was really taken aback by my own response as weird as that sounds.

I have not had more than 90 mins away from my kids (and this has been maybe 4 times to grocery shop, I typically order otherwise) in almost 2 years. I tried to get my haircut in March and got called home before it was my turn in the chair.

You have a major husband problem. What are you doing to fix it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have always had so much support on both sides. My parents, my in-laws, my sisters and brothers,.... Any of them would have been happy to take our kids so that we could take a vacation. Still, we never took a vacation without our children. To me, vacation time was so special. We always wanted the kids with us. They are all adults now. It seems like the time went by so fast. We have nothing but time now. And more money than we did when our kids were younger. I'm enjoying traveling with just my DH. But, I miss our family vacations so much.

Your kids will grow up faster than you can imagine. I'm sorry you don't have more family support. I understand why you might want to vacation without your kids. Maybe you'll find a way. If not, just remember, your time will come.

You miss those family vacations with kids precisely because you had oodles of support. Had you been like the PP who can't get a haircut without being called away, then you would not feel the same way. I personally would divorce if my DH put me in that position for two years.

[Anonymous]

Just don't get this vent. It was your choice to have kids and you knew all the variable such as older or sick grandparents that wouldn't be able to help out. You wanted this like and now you have it and are complaining?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel very blessed that both sets of grandparents are local and willing to watch the kids while DH and I go away occasionally. My kids are finally old enough that vacations with them are more enjoyable so I do like having them with us as well. I also like traveling with my parents and my kids and we do that every other year or so.

What I wish is that someone other than me would FOR ONCE plan a vacation. I have to make all of the plans no matter who else is going with us and it's exhausting. And then my husband will find one thing that he wants to do on vacation, obsess over it and disrupt the entire vacation so we can do that one thing that no one else really cares about. Meanwhile, I'm spending weeks and weeks planning things for everyone else. I would actually like to just vacation alone for once and not have to even take DH with me.

I have taken trips by myself. Who doesn't? I did it before I married and had kids so stopping would not even occur to me. Your DH does not help you to plan vacations because he does not really care either way. Just tell him you can't handle it this year so there won't be one unless he plans it. You'll see that no trip will happen. Use the extra money on a luxury trip for yourself. We women are so dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel very blessed that both sets of grandparents are local and willing to watch the kids while DH and I go away occasionally. My kids are finally old enough that vacations with them are more enjoyable so I do like having them with us as well. I also like traveling with my parents and my kids and we do that every other year or so.

What I wish is that someone other than me would FOR ONCE plan a vacation. I have to make all of the plans no matter who else is going with us and it's exhausting. And then my husband will find one thing that he wants to do on vacation, obsess over it and disrupt the entire vacation so we can do that one thing that no one else really cares about. Meanwhile, I'm spending weeks and weeks planning things for everyone else. I would actually like to just vacation alone for once and not have to even take DH with me.

I have taken trips by myself. Who doesn't? I did it before I married and had kids so stopping would not even occur to me. Your DH does not help you to plan vacations because he does not really care either way. Just tell him you can't handle it this year so there won't be one unless he plans it. You'll see that no trip will happen. Use the extra money on a luxury trip for yourself. We women are so dumb.

Not PP but I don’t take trips alone and I never would. That doesn’t sound like fun to me at all.